Prenuptial Quiz: Answer These Simple Questions Before You Say I Do

Despite widespread failures of marriages in some societies, it is still heart-warming that many people seek fulfillment in the bonds of matrimony. Better still are those couples who seek or agree to some form of counseling prior to wedding day.

Years ago, I made it a practice to require pre-marriage coaching before I agree to perform the wedding of any couple. Recently, I met with two young people who plan to tie the knot within 8 months. Per our prior conversation, I presented each of them with a questionnaire to pre-screen them before they and I signed a contract binding us to keeping the appointments to all pre-marital coaching sessions. We agreed that whatever we discover and discuss in the pre-wedding coaching sessions shall remain completely confidential. Then I asked them to answer the following questions honestly and separately, with the understanding that we would go over the questions for them to hear each other's responses.

The questions covered 5 major areas. Each question has a direct bearing on their marriage and wedding to come.

A. Spiritual & Moral Background

1. Give the name of your faith, religion or church. _______________________
2. How long have you been part of this faith or church? ___________________
3. Do you attend worship or spiritual gathering at least once a week? ( ) Yes ( ) No
4. What do you do for your spiritual development on a daily basis? ____________
5. Do you have a criminal record? ( ) Yes ( ) No. If so, for what? _____________

* Note: A person's spirituality or lack thereof provides the foundation for what the person believes, and what that person believes will influence how s/he will behave, which in turn will impact the marriage.

B. Education & Health

1. What is the highest level of education you completed? ____________________
2. How would you rate your health? ( ) Excellent ( ) Good ( ) Fair ( ) Poor
3. What disease or physical condition do you have that you know about? ________
4. When last did you have a physical check up? ____________________________
5. Do you regularly suffer from depression or anxiety? ( ) Yes ( ) No
6. How would you describe your eating habit? ( ) Healthy ( ) Unhealthy ( ) Mixed
7. If you are on prescription medication, what is it, and what is it for? ___________
8. Regarding anger and other emotions, how do you describe yourself? __________
9. Are you willing to take a medical checkup before you get married? ( ) Yes ( ) No

* Note: One's education level can affect how well that person can think and reason with his/her partner whenever there's something to talk (communicate) about. The health of a spouse will affect the quality of your life, so you should be concerned about the eating habits and other health habits of your partner.

C. Family Background

1. How would you describe your family of origin? ( ) Stable ( ) Separated ( ) Dysfunctional
2. Is/are your parent(s) supportive of your relationship with your fiance? ( ) Yes ( ) No
3. How many times have you been married before? _________________________
4. How many times have you been divorced? ____ If you've been divorced, do you have the legal document? ( ) Yes ( ) No
5. Are you legally married to someone else right now? ( ) Yes ( ) No
6. Do you have under-age children outside of the current relationship? ( ) Yes ( ) No
7. What do you think or how do you feel about your in-laws-to-be? _____________

* Note: The family that raised you helped to mold who you are. Your rank or placement in your family of origin whether you were an only child, first child, middle child or last child can affect how you may act towards your spouse.

D. Money

1. Do you currently have a source of regular income? ( ) Yes ( ) No.
2. If employed, how long have been at your current work? _____ How long did you keep your previous job? __________
3. What is the total amount of all debts you owe? _____________________
4. Do you have any savings and/or investment account(s)? ( ) Yes ( ) No
5. Do you use a written budget to manage your money? ( ) Yes ( ) No
6. Have you experienced any of these? ( ) Repossession ( ) Foreclosure ( ) Bankruptcy
7. How might your current job affect the amount of time you'll have to spend with your spouse-to-be? _________________________________________

* Note: Some experts estimate that money matters make up 75% of what couples argue about. That means if a couple can see eye to eye on money, they may have solved 75% of their marital issues, leaving only 25% for them to sort through. I recommend that the couple look forward to paying off their debts, because debt-free living can remove many financial constraints.

E. Wedding & Honeymoon

1. Have you obtained a marriage certificate? ( ) Yes ( ) No
2. How much do you plan to spend on the wedding? _______________________
3. Have all wedding participants been contacted? ( ) Yes ( ) No
4. Who will take pictures and/or videos at your wedding? ___________________
5. Have you made arrangements for your wedding clothes? ( ) Yes ( ) No
6. When and where is your wedding taking place? ________________________
7. What are your plans for honeymoon? ________________________________

* Note: The couple needs to set a wedding budget by itemizing what they need or want to have the kind of wedding they desire. Of course, I advise them not to buy a wedding and sell the marriage. It is important that the minister doing the wedding be contacted very early, especially if it's not the one conducting the pre-marriage coaching. The couple should begin the specifics of their honeymoon by deciding whether they'll honeymoon in their hometown or go out of town, how long their honeymoon will be, make sure they submit requests to their employees way ahead of time, so that nothing interferes with this important launch to their marriage.