Breaking News: Economic Downturn Leads To Santa Hat Shortage
Due to the recent economic collapse, thousands of UK Santas are left hatless.
New
uniforms are traditionally offered to all front-line Santas in March,
ready for the start of the new financial year in April. However, due to
lack of stock, and the collapse of several small hat-producing
contractors on which they relied, this year the new uniforms have
turned out to be hatless. Santa management insist the cutback is
necessary due to the current economic situation.
Santas are
outraged, and their union is conducting emergency meetings in
Westminster to consider the possibility of strike action.
Millions of children could potentially be left giftless this coming
Christmas, and millions of mince pies, carrots and glasses of brandy
could potentially go to waste.
Union
representatives demand a £5 million bail-out to keep the vital Santa
industry afloat, and say that if the government doesn't take action
immediately up to 15,000 jobs could be lost, primarily Santa positions
but it is believed that a number of Elf positions are also at risk.
