Words are funny old things.
People tend to give them whatever meaning they feel like at the time. Especially people who work in advertising.
However, here's what some of the words and phrases commonly used by advertisers really mean:
exotic = "contains mango"
tropical = "contains pineapple"
refreshing = "water-based"
revolutionary = "they come, and they go...round and round but nothing really changes"
probiotic = "its like a futuristic cyborg fighting against the forces of ill-health. And a bit yogurty"
new and improved = "due to industry regulations, and lawsuits from next of kin, we have been forced to stop using the older ingredients"
indulgent = "this product will make you fat and dramatically increase your odds of a heart attack"
organic = "still covered in mud" in the case of vegetables, and "expensive" in all cases
low-fat = "higher in sugar"
fat-free = "really high in sugar"
Free from artificial colourings and preservatives = "contains artificial flavourings"
may decrease the risk of heart disease = "we have no idea if this might reduce the risk of heart disease, and don't want to find out in case, as we suspect, it doesn't"
designer = "looks odd and costs a lot, but it must be good, right guys?"
rustic = "poorly made using inefficient methods"
real women = "slightly overweight and extremely out of shape"
family pack = "enough for one real person"
Serves 6-8 = "serves 1-2"
Juice Drink = "an almost homeopathic dilution of juice in water, topped off with artificial sweeteners. 9 out of 10 packs will contain at least 1 molecule of juice
May contain Nuts = "almost certainly doesn't contain nuts, unless it is an obviously nutty product, but given that a) people will sue over anything and b) philosophically, nothing is truly certain, we felt it wise to add this disclaimer"
Contents may be hot = "the contents are probably tepid or luke-warm at best, but to protect us from litigious and seemingly rather stupid gits we are obliged to point out that our coffee
may be hot. "
Enjoy as part of a healthy diet / active lifestyle = "this product is bad for you, make sure all the other products you eat are much healthier, and do lots of excercise, or this will make you massive"
Value = "you get what you pay for, and you didn't pay much for this did you..."
I hope this serves as a useful guide to translating Advertese into English - if you have any more examples, do pop them into a comment!
