This article is aimed primarily to those individuals who are charged with buying equipment for hospitals. You will quickly see that it is generally a peeve. Somewhat of a vent that has morphed into a rant.
You see my job deals with blood. We have to take blood samples and analyze them for levels of suspended gases, such as oxygen and carbon dioxide. There are many other analytes, but you get the picture. The doctors use the information from these tests to make medical decisions concerning the care we give our little patients. One might think such a machine would be important, and it is, but not important enough to get one that does not cause your staff to want to impale themselves.
The offending unit, the Gem 4000 Blood Gas Analyzer, manufactured by Instrumentation Laboratory, is something that the CIA would NEVER be allowed to use against the terrorists.
It is a touch screen that does not respond to touch, at first. When you touch it it gives an annoying "Boop," not "Beep," "Boop." Half the time it does nothing. Nothing. Then, of course the operator touches again, (Boop), again, (Boop) until the machine decides to wake up. For example, you are trying to enter the number 5, you'll go through the above scenario, only to give up, and just then the machine will display 55555 before going on to the next screen. Of course, you cannot give the doctor a lab result showing the patient had a respiratory rate of 55555, so you spend another two minutes chasing a rabbit through the maze of redundancy that is the Gem 4000.
On the start up screen the unit will almost always display the word "Ready." Do not be fooled. You press the large, green, "Go" button, (yes, I've taken some ribbing for that- Gringo), and the machine will give you a message that tells you that it is a big ole liar! You may have to wait ten minutes or more for it to be actually be ready!
But before you even get to that stage you must input your code to begin. Then you get the Boop, Boop, and Boop. The crazed and confused machine then tells you "You are not an authorized operator."
I have written to the Instrumentation Laboratory guys to vent. I had gotten their email address from their website, which touted the Gem 4000 as Fast and Accurate. It mentions something about how clinicians love it. I told them in my email that they had a lot of nerve saying so, and that they should immediately remove the units from operation.
I got a nicely worded response- "Oh gosh, we shall forthright go forth and seeketh out information concerneth thy concerns. Thou shalt be informed of any information-eth that we recover-eth." Not an exact quote, but you get my meaning.
There are so many other ridiculous and brain-wiping things this horrid machine does to us. I would go on, but I doubt SearchWarp has enough storage or bandwidth or whatever it is to handle all the manure this machine spews.
So, if you are the person responsible for buying equipment for a hospital, for the ABG, Arterial Blood Gas, lab in particular, PLEASE don't buy this machine, unless you really, really hate your staff.
Besides, it's time for the morning labs, and I must go Boop-eth.
Ken McCreless is just a guy who loves to write. No dazzling website or publishing milestones, just a love for words and a respect for the power they wield. Contact him at ken@kenmccreless.com
Great article. You have a great skill for taking something so normal dull and making it interesting. Analysing blood has never been on my “to do list” but you write in a way which engages the reader in something so strange. Well done.
I jumped on the computer and wrote this while waiting for that contraption to fulfill it intended purpose! Thank you for the compliments. I do love to write.
That is it! I just read Connor's comment and one of the best words to describe your writing is engage. (Oh thank Heaven for the English and their extensive vocabulary...) You engage your readers and it usually begins with your title, Ken. That, indeed, is a gift! But it never stops there. You take us through your articles in a way that is captivating. (I love that word too!).
Share more, share more. (Oh, and by the way, I'll cross off the Gem 4000 in my 'must-have' list!)
I worked with two nurses from England a few years ago, and they are absolutely "engaging." One time, just kidding but trying to act serious, I asked one of then why did they drive on the wrong side of the road and call soccer football.
Without skipping a beat she calmly replied "We drive on the correct side of the road and it is football, not soccer."
I only wish I had written this article before the thousands of kids got one for Christmas!!!
Looks like you need some training Ken! If you can't operate this machine, I would question your ability to be charged with purchasing an instrument capable of testing whole blood?!
This machine was poorly designed. The functionality is pathetic and the values are wrong- example NO is measured in ppm, parts per million. This machine registers NO in bpm- absolutely wrong. The RAM is insufficient for the unit to perform properly and RAM is not difficult to provide.
Clearly the 4000 was "designed" by people who will never have to use it in a clinical setting.
Insult me if you like, but this a shoddy and generally unacceptable piece of garbage.
» left by TocateLosWebs from Lexington, MA (132 days 11 hours ago.)
haha, so funny you... I'm going to give you a surprise since I know this analyzer much more than you actually can imagine, but let me tell you first that whereas britains drive on the wrong side, it is true that FOOTball is something that is played using the feet, not the hands, like americans do in that boring sport they also call "football", and that the real football (your "soccer") was not originated in the ridiculous NFL, but in England long time ago, whereas the american "football" is a rare thing derived from the (also English) rugby. So the question is why some people call "soccer" what is football in the whole rest of the world, unless you think America is the whole world. So, joking or not, the english nurse was half wrong, and so do you.
» left by TocateLosWebs from Lexington, MA (130 days 18 hours ago.)
Hi, it's me again, from Lexington, you know what I mean....
Let me tell you that personally I don't like the usabilty and the look & feel of this machine, so initially you are right. The problem is that you are presenting it as the worst thing in the segment, omitting the important fact that this machine is above average among its competitors. Otherwise you could give us also the name, model and manufacturer of any other BG analyzer to compare and to teach the readers how to design a machine like this.
Maybe you are comparing this UI with an iPhone so yes, these analyzers are far from sophisticated usability techniques. Maybe because you were a cell phones salesman and recently accepted that new work and this is the first analyzer you have touched? That's the impression I have.
On the other hand, I would not recommend you talking about "wrong results" or design behind the clients' back, because that only gives us the feel that you don't have a remote idea of the amount and type of processes and requisites these machines must meet before they can be placed on the market. Not to mention talking about technical features (the RAM, hahaha, -lol-) that I'm not going to discuss in an open forum for obvious reasons.
Anyway, I understand the context and your intended audience, but this is a public open forum, so be prepared also for replies from anyone.
» left by Ken McCreless from Event Horizon (129 days 8 hours ago.)
I actually sent IL a detailed email concerning their product, so it's not at all "behind their back." I have been an RT for 14 years and have used many types of analyzers. The Bayer 495 is my favorite.
I spoke of wrong values, not "wrong results." If you'll look at the Nitric Oxide window, you'll see they have listed that gas as being in "BPM," not "ppm," which would be correct.
I stand behind my article. The Gem 4000 has got to go.
» left by RJ from Pensacola (31 days 14 hours ago.)
Hi Ken, good stuff. You say your favorite is a Bayer product. I'd be interested in hearing from you and all your readers commentary of favorite machines the why's and why not's for those that aren't fave.
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