It started out innocently enough. A peep here and a peep there and then another and another and another. You get the picture.
Between the Easter bunny, egg hunts and the in-laws, my kids have enough candy to put a normally sane person, such as myself, into a diabetic coma.
Hence the following list.
You know you have had too much Easter candy when you find yourself sneaking in your child's room in the middle of the night to steal some more. So what if they wake up in horror screaming as you trip over the plastic eggs and land face first on their bed as they sleep? It was for a good cause!
You know you have had too much Easter candy when you refuse to kiss your husband because your mouth is full of the Snickers you just snuck. Doesn't he understand why I am hiding crouched in the corner?
You know you have had too much Easter candy when you have a sugar headache and are fearful that you will be found killed over dead with your face stuck in an Easter basket. When the paramedics come, they have trouble removing your head because the marshmallow on your face has acted like a glue causing your face to stick to the bottom of the basket. When they rip you out, green and pink grass remains stuck to your face.
You know you have had too much Easter candy when you are having nightmares of peep battles in your stomach. As they continue to expand like they do when put in the microwave, so does your stomach. Until your dream reaches the ultimate climax of your stomach exploding into a million pieces.
You know you have had too much Easter candy when you are going to the store to buy the half off Easter candy in hopes of replacing the kids before they notice their candy is all gone.
You know you have had too much Easter candy when you lie about wanting the family to eat healthier and confiscating all Easter candy so you can later sneak and eat it when they are out of the house.
You know you have had too much Easter candy when your sweat smells like chocolate.
Of course, most of this is done in humor. I would never do these things. . .or would I?
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