I’ve been hearing on the news the last few days the latest developments in the continuing Carroll Independent School District cheerleader drama. For those of you who don’t live in Texas, let me give you the Reader’s Digest condensed version. CISD services Southlake, Texas, a community roughly halfway between Denton and Arlington. Back in December 2005 the school district held varsity cheerleader tryouts. Following the school’s criteria for assessing skills in areas such as tumbling, gymnastics, and synchronized cheers, fourteen students made the squad. The parents of those children who didn’t make the team filed a grievance with the school board, complaining the scoring system used to determine eligibility was flawed. To appease these irate parents, and supposedly to make everyone happy, the district allowed everyone who tried out for the varsity team to be on the team. Now the parents of the fourteen students who made the initial cut have filed their own grievance against the school board, claiming that the district’s decision was “too inclusive."
The Ant and the Grasshopper
Upon first hearing this story, my gut reaction was to side with the original fourteen varsity cheerleaders. After all, these young adults were the ones who had worked hard – in some cases for years – to prepare themselves physically and mentally for a sport (yes, cheerleading is now considered a sport) that can lead to college scholarships, which is very helpful in earning an education. They met the criteria to qualify for the varsity squad, and they won their hard-earned positions fair and square. Isn’t this what we’re taught, that hard work and dedication pay off in the end?
I Think I Can! I Think I Can!
Considering myself a modern, 21st century, understanding and tolerant kind of guy, I decided it was only fair to examine the situation from the viewpoint of those children who initially didn’t make the team. Just because they didn’t work as hard to learn the specifics of their chosen sport doesn’t mean they don’t want the rewards that go with being a varsity cheerleader. In fact, some of them probably want it more than those who did make the cut. These children may not know how to do a back flip without landing on their heads and breaking their own necks. When a teammate is hurling through the air executing maneuvers that would make a contortionist cringe, they may not understand how to catch her to prevent her from being permanently paralyzed and ruining her future in the sport. (I wonder how much money the school system is prepared to lose when the injury lawsuits start getting filed.)
But hey! They have heart, and they believe in themselves, and isn’t that good enough? Of course it is! Thousands of applicants who were turned down for “American Idol" feel exactly the same way!
God forbid that our children should have to learn about life in the real world. We wouldn’t want their tender little egos bruised because somebody arbitrarily assigned a level of competency to a particular task and they couldn’t make the grade. And we certainly don’t want to introduce them to the concept of failure, oh, no. No disappointment for this generation! “It’s not right! It’s not fair! IT’S NOT WHAT I WANT!!"
No matter how hard we try, whether through our own honest efforts or the intervention of others, there’s no escaping the fact that sometimes we can’t get everything we want. Or can we?
The Loophole
In today’s lawsuit-obsessed society it seems people are looking for a way to beat the system, to get around the rules and make an exception for themselves. People have used their skin color, their gender, their religious upbringing, and other traits to excuse their own shortcomings and get preferential treatment. These have worked with varying degrees of success, depending on society’s standards at the time the claim was made and the believability of the person making the claim. However, there is one trait that, over time, has consistently shown itself to garner more sympathy and gain more support than any other.
Claim a handicap.
That’s right. When you use the word “handicapped", government gets involved. The rules are changed, or bent in favor of the claimant at the very least. And nobody can voice a complaint, because doing so would show the worst type of insensitivity towards a person who is truly not responsible for his or her condition. After all, it’s…a handicap.
Look at Me! I’m Handicapped!
For instance, I’m a 48-year-old man who is 6 feet tall and weighs a bit more than what the medical community would deem healthy. If I have a dream of being a race horse jockey, am I being discriminated against because I’m too old, too tall, and too, um, “gravity challenged" to meet the qualifications of a jockey? I can get around that by claiming that I’m physically handicapped. Then the ACLU and the government will have to step in, setting up guidelines that various racing federations will have no choice but to follow. I could get a head start on all the other jockeys in my race. And I wouldn’t have to work at it a day in my life. Why not? Because…I’m handicapped.
Or what if my neighbor, a former NFL linebacker, secretly yearns to be a ballerina? He won’t have to go to Sweden and have that “special surgery". He can simply claim a gender handicap, and voila! The dance community will have to accommodate him. So what if he has two left feet? That’s not the issue here. The important thing is that he will be able to live his dream of performing in “Swan Lake" or “The Nutcracker", wearing that 3XL pink tutu with matching tights. And everybody else will have to go along with it because…he’s handicapped.
Absurd? Perhaps. But what about the woman who claims an “ethics handicap" is the root of her compulsive embezzling of company funds? The man whose “stimulant handicap" causes him to drink nonstop? The man with the “commitment handicap" who constantly cheats on his wife? The woman whose abnormal attachment to animals is explained away by a “species handicap"? The man who can’t be held accountable for a string of violent murders he’s accused of committing because he has a “life handicap"? When does absurdity end and sinister take over?
Of Course It’s Hard!
Now, do I really believe that all our shortcomings can be blamed on handicaps? Of course not. At some point we have to take responsibility for what we do (or don’t do) with our lives. And as much as some would like to see it happen differently, real life teaches us a different lesson. Working hard towards a goal doesn’t guarantee success, but sitting back and doing nothing does guarantee failure.
One of the best movie lines I’ve ever heard was delivered by Tom Hanks to Geena Davis in “A League of Their Own". Davis is about to quit the league and go home with her husband, recently returned from World War II. Hanks is trying to tell her why she needs to stay with the team. When Davis says the game just got too hard, Hanks blasts her by saying, “It's supposed to be hard! If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard...is what makes it great!"
So to those cheerleader wannabes in north Texas, I can only say: Listen to Tom Hanks, and then get off your butts and put some work into it. And try out again next year if you haven’t quit before then…you wimps.
Additional sources for this article include the Houston Chronicle and the Star-Telegram of Fort Worth/Arlington.
