Within a span of two days, I was given a view as to how children in this day and age are a constant worry. How do you explain to preschoolers how dangerous it is for them to be a normal preschooler?
Let me go back and explain the last two days of my life. Day one started out as a great bonding time with my kids. We went to the park to feed the ducks and play. I can’t explain the pure joy I had watching my five-year-old and one-year-old chase ducks. That joy quickly turned to terror within the hour. I watched as my sweet, innocent five-year-old, who was supposed to be playing on the big slide, struck up a conversation with a strange man. I, on the other hand, was by the little slide a good distance away with the one-year-old. I immediately began to yell at my son, only to have him so caught up in his conversation that he did not hear me.
I felt torn between my two kids. Do I panic the one-year-old and run up the slide to grab her and lose sight entirely of my son for the brief second. Or do I run to him and leave her on the top of the slide. I continued to yell and waited for her to come down. We immediately began heading towards my son. Of course, he finally heard me yelling and came running.
When asked who he was talking to, he replied, “My friend’s dad." What friend, I immediately asked. “The girl I met on the slide." Where is she, I asked. “Over there on the slide." I was scared and upset all at once. Did I not explain to him the dangers of talking to strangers? Does he not realize the amount of kids taken each day? Is it fair to ask him not to be friendly? Is it fair to take away his naïve view to the world as a five-year-old?
My husband and I realied that we weren’t living in an age of innocence anymore and really don’t remember a time when there was one. Therefore, we decided to have the stranger talk with our son before bedtime.
The next day, my son and I would watch first hand the fear and terror of losing a child. Our mall has a play area for kids - complete with squishy floors, slides and animals to jump on. As we entered the mall that day to play, we heard a woman screaming hysterically. One of her three kids was missing. My son held on to my leg as we watched this woman, with the help of all the other mothers in the crowd, tearfully look for this little lost girl. The good news is that the girl was found in a toy store. She had gotten out of the play area and, as a three-year-old, could not resist the toys. Her mother just sat holding her crying. The girl did not even realize why her mom was so upset.
It really got me to thinking. How do we teach our kids safety without scaring them? Is it more important to take away their innocence about what the world is really like? I think it has to be done. So here are a few tips that I am doing with my children.
Personal Information
It is essential that your children know your first and last names, not just mommy or daddy, as well as their own first and last names, at the very least. As soon as they can learn, teach them their phone number and address.
Who is safe?
Teach kids that if lost they can always go to a police man, security guard, teacher or even the person behind a cash register to call out your name. Teach them not to talk to adults who they do not know unless you are there with them.
Practice
Teach them that it is ok to scream if an adult approaches them and makes them feel uneasy. Practice what they should do if an adult approaches them without a parent present. Teach them to run immediately to their mom and dad. Other parents will not be offended because they realize the danger as well. Also, lecture the importance of staying close to mom and dad.
What belongs to them
Teach kids that any area covered by clothes is their private area and should not be shown or touched by anyone. Anytime someone makes them feel uncomfortable they should tell you. They should not be embarrassed or ashamed. After all, it wasn’t their fault.
Inform caregivers
Make sure those watching your child, either in a daycare setting or babysitting in a home, know who is allowed to pick up your child in case of emergencies.
Follow rules
No matter where the child is, explain the importance of following rules. Explain how rules are set up for their safety and when rules are not followed harm can result. Explain that it is imperative for children to follow the rules at school or even with you. As a teacher, it was heartbreaking to hear about kids getting hit by a bus or not being in the right line and being sent to the wrong neighborhood.
Be suspicious
Inform kids to stay away from cars when playing outside. If one stops by them, they are to immediately run inside. Also teach them to never take candy from a stranger and to know that just because an adult knows their name does not mean they are safe to be around.
Kids are never too young to have these types of conversations. Unfortunately, in our society, there are too many who are willing to hurt a child. It is, of course, a parent’s worse fear to lose a child. It brings me to tears to think of all who have.
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