If you face one or more of these problems, then you are not alone:
Stress
Unfocused
No routine
Lack of time
Workaholism
Over-commitment
Overwhelmed
Disorganized
Too much to do
In reality, these problems are all symptoms of an underlying difficulty: the inability to achieve life balance.
There is a simple way to achieve balance in your life by prioritizing what’s important (what you need to do) and what’s possible (what you want to do). Consider how you spend your time:
"What does it matter how much we do (trying to fit more into the existing time) if what we're doing isn't what matters most?" - Stephen Covey
A practical way to define what matters most in your life is to identify the various roles you fill. For example, if you are married, then you have a role as a husband or a wife. If you have kids, then you have a role as a father or mother. If you have close relationships with other family members, then you have roles as a son / daughter brother / sister uncle / aunt etc. In addition to relationships with your family members, you may also have close relationships with friends.
If you work, then you fill various roles as part of your job. If you are a manager / supervisor, then you have a role that supports your employees. You may also have a role as a mentor to other managers / supervisors. If you are an employee, then you have a role to manage your boss. In addition, whether a manager / supervisor or employee, you have coworkers and fill a role as a peer to them.
In addition to your personal roles as a family member or friend, and your work roles, you have an individual role – this role defines you, your values, priorities, and goals. This role is best separated into 4 capacities: physical, mental, spiritual, and personal. Consider the following advice:
“Balance life: integrate body, mind, spirit, and community." - Dr. Mark Warner, JMU
“There is an Indian proverb or axiom that says that everyone is a house with 4 rooms, a physical, a mental, an emotional and a spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time, but unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person." - Rumer Godden
Your individual physical role may include goals for losing weight, exercising, eating healthy, or quitting smoking. Your mental role may include goals for continual learning, comic relief, or other intellectually stimulating activities. Your spiritual role may include your priorities for participating in activities related to your religious beliefs or achieving peace of mind through other spiritual practices. Your personal role can include a variety of priorities and goals, including those for community service, financial goals, getting organized, etc. areas of your life you want to improve or things that you want to do to fulfill your life purpose simply put, your individual personal role allows you to define priorities and goals for whatever it is that you want out of your life.
Here is a fictitious example of a life balancing tool for a woman who’s struggling to maintain a work-home balance after recently going back to work full-time since her kids started school. Notice that the priorities and goals are specific and measurable. In addition, the priorities and goals are more achievable since they fulfill more than one role (e.g., taking a walk with her husband helps achieve her priorities as a wife and for individual / physical fitness).
Role
Daily Priorities
Weekly Priorities
Annual Goals
Wife
Spend at least 15 minutes a day with my husband to talk about what he’s going through at work
One date or dinner alone with my husband (no kids) per week (to talk about what’s going on with each other and goals as a couple, not about kids or work if possible)
Plan an annual long romantic weekend alone with my husband (no kids)
Mother
Prepare a hot, balanced meal for my family each night Make time to review kids’ school papers and homework each night
Spend time alone with my teenager to allow him to talk to me 1-1 about anything by going to a movie, going bowling, going shopping, etc.
Volunteer as a part-time room mother to coordinate my youngest kid’s classroom activities
Employee
Provide a daily status report to my boss at the end of the day to highlight accomplishments and problems that I need help with
Build at least one new relationship a week with a coworker to establish a network of peers
Get a promotion to the next level after being on the job for a year
Friend
Contact at least one friend a day to see if they need any help and tell them how much I appreciate their friendship
Call or e-mail at least one friend a week to get caught up with what’s going on in our lives
Plan an annual reunion of college roommates
Individual / Physical
Limit caffeine intake to no more than 2 cups of coffee and 1 soda per day
Take at least three 30 minute walks per week around the neighborhood with either my husband or friend
Participate in at least one walk-a-thon for charity per year
Individual / Mental
Read the daily book reviews in the paper
Spend at least an hour a week in private time to enjoy reading
Join a book club to start meeting with others who enjoy reading to discuss books as a group
Individual / Spiritual
Spend at least 10 minutes a day in private time to give thanks for my blessings and pray for those in need
Attend at least one weekly church service or activity
Volunteer for at least 2 mission activities at church per year
Individual / Personal
Spend no more than 30 minutes a day surfing the Internet to find new recipes, books, and information about local activities and events
Watch at least one movie (comedy or drama) a week
Save $2500 per year for kids’ college funds
By using this tool to schedule daily, weekly and annual activities, and by reviewing it on at least a monthly basis to keep herself accountable to her priorities, to review and refine her goals as needed, and to reward herself for her successes, she will achieve balance in her life and establish a routine to Learn, Love, Laugh, and Live.
Here’s another example of a salesman who’s struggling to balance his ever increasing demands both at work and at home.
Role
Daily Priorities
Weekly Priorities
Annual Goals
Husband
Meet my wife for lunch each day
Help my wife plan meals for the coming week
Help my wife plan our annual family vacation
Father
Spend time in the evening with the kids before their bedtime (reading, playing games, helping with homework, etc.)
Take the kids out to a movie or other fun event during the weekend
Volunteer as a coach on either my son or daughter’s soccer team during the spring and fall seasons
Salesman
Contact at least one new prospect a day
Meet weekly sales goals as set by my boss and exceed his weekly sales goals based on my new prospects
Increase sales by 10% over last year’s sales
Individual / Physical
Drink at least 4 bottles of water a day
Attend weekly karate class
Achieve green belt status
Individual / Mental
Read the Wall Street Journal daily
Practice listening skills during weekly sales meeting
Read at least 3 self-development books written by successful businessmen
Individual / Spiritual
Save spare change each day for donation to local food bank
Attend Confession on a weekly basis
Donate 2% of annual commission earnings to charity
Individual / Personal
Log daily entries in a sales journal
Focus on home improvement or yard work as needed
Learn how to play golf
By using this tool to schedule daily, weekly and annual activities, and by reviewing it on at least a monthly basis to keep himself accountable to his priorities, to review and refine his goals as needed, and to reward himself for her successes, he will achieve balance in his life and establish a routine to Learn, Love, Laugh, and Live.
Coach Deb provides personal, professional and life coaching services that provide challenge, inspiration, focus, support and accountability to those who want to learn how to live a balanced life to the fullest. She can be reached via e-mail at coachdeb@adelphia.net .
Disclaimer: All information on this site is provided for informational purposes only! By no means is any
information presented herein intended to substitute for the advice provided to you by any health care or other professional
or organization.
