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I thought I'd write this for Searchwarp although I don't expect much of a response it is there for those who care to know. As I sit here this day before mothers day and watch the demise of my mom under the facade of a caring health system that labels and identifies her by age and quotes to me that she has lived a good life I shiver at how many moms will die this day and next at the hands of what is in my opinion pathetic neglect? Well those who know me realize I don't cut corners or try to placate fact. Truth be told, how many lie there staring into space who could interact and live some more life given some love and real care? Now don't get me wrong, not all but how many? No and certainly no easy job for those who work these environments, not in the least. Yet, those who wish to dispute can rise and come out of their corners because I struck a nerve but what I write to is reality. Frankly scarlet I don't give a damn, the truth be told and wish it were different but it is not. Don't tell me about what I know first hand. As I said over and over again I would wish to be wrong but sadly I am not and time after time.
Yes as I write my mom lies in a nursing care bed no more then piece of meat, an invoice to pay salaries and to remain employed. Yes and she is in one of the "better" facilities. To say there are not some who care and are merciful and loving on staff would be a lie. Yet to say the majority are there mainly for the job is also another sad truth.
Of course I am the ugly one, the complainer, the negative. Sure I watched a hall emergency response light buzz once again for over ten minutes. A light and alarm by law which is supposed to be responded to within minutes by anyone on the floor. I watched as a CNA walked by and didn't even stop to look into the room. The charge nurse remained totally aloof and didn't even respond to the buzzer right in front of her. I remained looking and searching for who would respond. Finally the nurse came back from lunch, saw me, said hello and said hey there is light on I got to run. He went to the room, came back and said hey that was your mom's room did you press the buzzer. I said yes but after a few minutes I took care of the problem and came outside to see who would respond and you, the nurse was the only one who did. I told him, see that nurse or so called nurse at the counter. Yes the one "in charge", watch her, what is she doing about the buzzer? The answer nothing and an excuse, well we are understaffed, there is supposed to be, etc. Never mind I said, you responded and you know the rest of the story.
Yes and she cries out in fear because she is, yet when I am there none of that, why? Why the nice tones and sweet talk then? Why when mom is home, with me, an untrained person her improvement startles the doctor, why? Amazing they say. I say something else which I can't print.
I come in to check her frequently. They do not like that, those unexpected visits. I would stay longer but I have a second to care for at home. I observe and then I ask if my mother been turned and they say yes when I know by fact she hasn't, why I have my ways of checking. She is rarely given water or fed unless I come in, only by the few who care. The bottom line please don't tell me health care, be is socialized medicine or paid there is in my opinion little health care of any quality left. I've seen it and lived it and yes a while ago I wrote to my mothers destruction and now she is sadly at deaths door. Fighting to hold on without help, little concern or mercy and compassion. Hey its my mom not theirs and we are not rich but average folk. Do you think those that have undergo this type of "care?" I have worked in children's hospital and seen real care and love, for the elderly, well another story.
No when I ask for an update all I get is all I get is an excuse. Well she is old, that's common for someone her age when in fact by proof it is not common and do not let them put that on you. No, by example and opinion my mom is no more then meat on the hoof for them, a pay day, nothing more. No this mothers day I will cry. I will cry not only when my mom passes, but I will cry for the lack of quality care, concern, mercy, attention, miserable attitudes and lies and yes arrogance at the hands of these so called care providers who are excellent at excuses and passing the buck and counting beans and cutting people and staff to increase profit and where help is but a word, care a cover.
I will take her out but have to play the game or pay. How sad, pitifully sad. So to you who do not suffer these trials know you are blessed because there but for the grace of God go I is so true. Yes but I defy anyone to tell me eyeball to eyeball about care, that is if you want to hear truth? That is, witnessed, documented, observed and not only of mine but of others, fact. I think not because the response or lack thereof to this will tell all exactly who you are.
Yes mom I do hope you are here this Mothers day, a true gift and know I will be there for you until God calls you home regardless of who or what people say. I love you, your son.
Yes I can be found at http://realconsiderations.blogspot.com/
Robert T. Melaccio Sr. 2009 Copyright © 2009 Robert Melaccio Sr
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