The quietness is a deafening roar-all in my head. The emptiness crowds around me as I go from room to room, picking up forgotten toys. Putting away memories. Tiny fingerprints and smudges have all been wiped away, leaving the windows and sliding-glass doors to sparkle in the early morning sun. Too much time on my hands, I have cleaned and cleaned again.
Russellville-two hundred plus miles away-may as well be one million. My son and his wife have moved away, taking with them the brightest light of my universe-my four-year-old grandson. He had lived all his life just across my driveway and now I talk to him only by long-distance. He was the source of ninety-nine percent of my writing. What do I write about now? For what is a grandmother, without her grandbaby?
I took him at 3-weeks-old to Sunday School for the first time, and every Sunday thereafter. Til' now.
Although I have other grandchildren-some far away, some not so far-but they have outgrown the need of a doting grandmother. They have their friends, their hobbies, their individual interests that don't often include an old woman and her eccentricities. Our babies grow up all too soon. Of course, we know that they still love us, but it's a different type of love from that which radiated from them while they were very young.
They could make you feel like the most beautiful movie star with just one look, or the wisest person on earth with just one word. Honesty and sensitivity is all they know. There is no pretense when they put their tiny hand in yours and say, "I love you, Grannie." Or, "I love you, Papa." Taking second place only to Mommy and Daddy.
But, as with their parents before them, you have to let them go and spend your days wiping the dust from their picture frames on the walls and your nights looking through old photo albums. Remember this birthday and that school play? Three-year-old Cheyanne falling asleep, dressed as an angel in the Christmas play-we still see her on old reruns of
America 's Funniest Home Videos- Really.
So,
What is a Grandparent, without their Grandchildren? I can't speak for all grandparents, but in my case it is a very lonely person who misses her grandchildren when they aren't asking for milk and cookies or one more strawberry twisler or "can I sleep with you tonight, Grannie?" Or, "can I have one small toy, Papa?" as we walk through Walmart on any given day.
I have been blessed in this life with many joys, but my greatest has been my grandchildren. Now, if you will excuse an old lady while she makes another phone call to Russellville and then prepares for a date with her Granddaughter's English Class to talk with the students about her books and writings-maybe I'm still needed after all.
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