When was the last time our word was as good as gold? What happened to the days when a heart-felt, "You can count on me" and a handshake was a promise that could be expected and counted on?
As a credit manager, I talk to many people who give me good reason to be pessimistic and untrusting. Nevertheless, when it comes to our friends or family members shouldn't there be a confidence we can place in any given commitment any one of them make to us? Conversely, can any one of them count on us?
Unfortunately, this is not always the case. It's one thing to commit to do something for someone and then honestly forget or get held up by an unexpected circumstance, but another when we make a conscious decision to fail to follow through for whatever reason. With today's technology, we have the luxury of instant communication; whether it is email, texting, or simply hitting a speed dial button, there is no excuse for a no-show or last minute cancelation without a legitimate reason.
When our children hit the age where they were able to go out with friends, we spent a lot of time telling them to think before making a commitment. "Is this something you really want to do, or is it because there isn't a better offer? They were not allowed to change their minds because something better came along in the meantime. "A commitment is a commitment and your friends should be able to count on everything you say", we would say.
The same rule applied for sports. There was no quitting halfway through if they decided they didn't like it. We tried to get them to think about how they would feel if others bowed out, causing the team to fall short and having to forfeit.
I am sure we are not the only parents who did this. In fact, judging by the way that society used to do business; every parent did this.
Why then, as adults, do we throw this basic courtesy out the window perhaps it's because we have become selfish in our actions? Perhaps we make commitments because "there is nothing better to do".
Not too long ago, I actually caught myself doing this. A friend of mine invited me to the ballet class that was being held in the church gym. Art was out of town at the time, so I said, "sure, I have nothing better to do". A few days later, this came to mind and I realized how insensitive that was of me to say. As it turned out, I had a great time and I was looking forward to the next class. Still, it did not make what I did okay. "Let your yes be yes, and your no be no." This passage of Scripture rang loud and clear that night. We should never make half-hearted commitments no matter what. If our mind is saying I don't really want to, then this is what our lips should say as well.
It spares a lot of heartache later. Especially if we leave the other person/s hanging this tells them that they just aren't that important.
I'm writing this as a reminder to myself and hopefully to others who might do this without thinking how much they may be hurting someone.
Let our yes be yes and our no be no, it's a great motto to live by.
(C) Teresa Ortiz
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