I hate to say this but here it goes: Some teenagers are not always what they seem to be. They can have one type of behavior at home and another while online. I have seen cases of young sons and daughters who, outwardly appeared to be perfect straight "A" students, well-behaved and not involved "with that other crowd of bad kids", who ended up shocking their parents with inappropriate or even lewd myspace.com profiles. Hey, nobody is perfect!
When was the last time you went through your kid's profile on myspace.com? Some parents are shocked after finding out how their teens are expressing themselves online. Teens (and adults) are doing some crazy things for attention, recognition or to simply come across as being competitively cool. Kids can get very creative. NBC showed a report about 11-13 year old girls engaging in fist-fights after school while other students videotaped the events for later posting on myspace.com. That black-eye and bruise wasn't a fall during cheerleading practice after all. The sad reality is that a lot of people like questionable material and the stuff you see on myspace.com doesn't necessarily shock everyone. That poses the question? Why not? Has our society slowly degraded to the point that we have become numb to "rudeness, profanity and stupidity?" In my opinion, there is some type of glorification of "bad behavior" going on in today's society. In fact, bad behavior is often considered "cool". Apparently, even Whitney Houston's daughter was not immune to posting a colorful profile on myspace.com which has since been deleted. Suggestive postures, depictions of violence, questionable photos and video clips, adult-oriented forum threads, profanity, sexually charged content, uncivilized attitude and behavior are part of some of myspace's culture and, to a certain extent, a reflection of the current status of our society. People over 18 are able to interact with users between 14-17, a fact that worries parents and law enforcement officials. In my view, Myspace users should stick people with their own age groups.
Possible solutionMyspace should have a built-in system that automatically prevents minor from communicating with adults. By preventing the exchange of messages, bulletins and comments among these age groups, I would think that it would help prevent potential problems. Many people lie about their age and I'm not only referring to 12-year-olds pretending to be 14-17 but 25-30 year olds pretending to be 14-17! PredatorsRecent cases have shown that predators are able to make contact with potential victims through chatrooms, instant messages, email, bulletins and even phone calls. Predators are dangerous elements who have been known to murder their victims. Parents should alert their teens to NEVER arrange phone calls, interactions or personal meetings with strangers who might be lying about their age. Myspace.com Is Not EvilTelling your underage teen to delete his or her Myspace profile is not cool. Their friends are on there. The want to be part of the Myspace crowd because at this time, it's considered the cool thing to do. 80 Million people are on there! I do not believe that Myspace.com is evil but I think it should be accountable just as much as its users and their parents. People and entities should be responsible for their own actions and the choices they make.
For example, teens can find explicit adult material using popular search engines, so I don't think it is fair to label myspace.com as the only source of questionable material. The Internet itself can be used for good or evil. It depends on what people choose to view online. Use Caution: Are There Porn Stars On Myspace.com? Well, if you're the parent of an underage teen, you probably want to know the answer this question. According to an article published, Feb 17, 2006 on Xbiz, I quote the following: "...Monstar is the group leader of Monstar's Porn Star Group on MySpace. He built the page in February and currently hosts 3,409 members and links to more than 300 erotic performers with MySpace pages.
Monstar's Porn Star Group was created in response to the plethora of "porn star fakes" that were running rampant on MySpace, he says. The group has evolved into something of a protective union with Monstar in the role of a kindly, putative Jimmy Hoffa type. If Monstar links to a porn star's MySpace page, then users can be assured that it's the real deal and not a poser." Source: XBIZ
Safety Tips
1. Talk to your underage teen and insist that no compromising information is placed into
their profile, such as the school they attend, the location of upcoming parties or their place of employment. Obviously, no listing of addresses, phone numbers, date of birth or where they hang out on weekends.
2. Advise them to use a fake or modified photos of themselves. You can use non-copyrighted stock photos. This little trick can prevent their real faces from being exposed to potential predators and give some sense of anonymity. Keep in mind that most teens want their own photos online in order to be recognized by their peers.
3. Don't list the city where you live.
4. Advise your underage son or daughter not to interact with people who are over 18, unless they know them personally. They may end up receiving messages, pictures and comments that are intended for adults.
5. If you are an adult, don't flirt with minors. It's a recipe for trouble. If you're a minor, don't entice people whom you know aren't supposed to be interacting with you. Just because they're adults, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're smart or have good intentions. There is something wrong with 30-40 year olds trying to meet up with 13-17 year olds via the Internet!.
6. Some profiles have "indirect" links to adult web cams, products or adult-oriented sites. Avoid them. Myspace will eventually delete these sneaky users.
7. When you build your profile, I suggest that you keep it PG-rated. Avoid inappropriate, sexually themed content. Avoid nudity especially if you're underage. Sure it's your freedom of expression, etc. but if you're a minor, you're likely to attract the wrong crowd out there.
8. If you suspect that your teen is doing something less than appropriate online, you can install a key logger on your computer and trace their tracks. You must be prepared to handle what you find out about your teen's activities online. Don't live in denial thinking your teens are perfect saints and keep in mind that if you do install a key logger system, you'll be invading your teen's privacy. My suggestion is to talk to your teen as opposed to using sneaky tactics to find out what they're doing online.
10. Teens don't need to be deprived of participating in the Myspace phenomenon, they just need to know how to use it safely.
11. Never share your myspace email address with anyone or your profile can be hacked, modified or destroyed if a hacker discovers what your password is. Furthermore, if your school has banned you from accessing myspace.com, don't try to bypass their access restrictions.
12. Sometimes kids have this idea that they're untouchable, anonymous or untraceable and use myspace to make threats to others. That's a mistake with diverse consequences, including the possibility of being charged with hate-crime or worse. Bottom line is, never use the system to threaten or abuse any person or persons.
13. If you are on myspace right now and you are a minor, pay attention: If you have any pictures that involve or condone the consumption of alcohol, illegal drugs, promote racism, violence against humans or animals, hate-crime or any material that can be construed as illegal according to local, state or even federal laws, do yourself and your family a favor, revisit your profile and clean things up.
14. Don't judge a profile solely on the pictures you see. Many people with hundreds or thousands of friends have a hard time going through every single profile and content. As of this writing, Myspace.com doesn't offer users much in terms of filters to help delete questionable "friends". Deletion has to be done manually and it's very time-consuming if you have hundreds or even thousands of friends.
15. This one is not obvious 100% of the time: if the person in the profile picture looks like he or she is 15 and the profile reads 19-22, it's likely to be an underage teen trying to befriend
adults. This could be innocently done to get an adult's point-of-view on relationships, dating or other subjects. If it looks like a kid, it's a kid and if you're an adult, move on. If you're a kid pretending to be an adult, cut it out before you entrap someone who actually thought you were over 18!
16. Level of income. This is often a laughable section. If you see anyone with acne making $100,000+ a year, it's either a relative of Bill Gate's, Paris Hilton or a total fake.
17. Number of friends. There is a wave of people on myspace.com "collecting" large numbers of friends. I have seen profiles with as many as 150,000 friends. The reason for a profile to have so many friends is usually for fun, self-promotion, marketing or popularity.
18. Myspace provides a way for you to "deny" or "block" users that annoy you, spam you or who look suspicious. You need not accept all friend requests that come your way. Additionally, you can also make your profile private, hide your "online now" presence or only accept to be friends with only those who know you.
Media paranoia.
There has been a great deal of negative publicity in the media about Myspace.com. Reading some of the reports you'd think that the site is full of predators and perverts. Most of these reports seem to ignore the majority of good people that regularly frequent the site. Perverts and predators have been on the Internet long before myspace.com was a household name and unfortunately, these sick people will continue to be part of our society. Some Internet reports seem to suggest that law enforcement visits myspace.com on a regular basis.
Conclusion
I don't buy the notion that myspace is to blame for every evil deed that occurs as a result of using its services anymore than Google or Yahoo can be blamed when minors who use their search engines to find inappropriate material. People have an obligation to control themselves and what they do online. Parents have a stewardship over their children and an obligation to educate and monitor their children's online activities. The Internet can be used for good or evil and it's up to us to choose how we utilize it.
I believe that people need to become wiser and more responsible, knowing how to protect themselves against the overall evils of the Internet. People shouldn't exhibit any form of behavior that entices, encourages or feeds the sick minds of evil doers out there and parents should do the best they can to educate their children about using the Internet, safely and responsibly.
Millions of people really enjoy and find self-expression on Myspace.com. Teens find ways to socialize and express themselves. Self-expression can be positive or negative. Many teens and pre-teens may be using their profiles as an open rebellion against their parents, their schools, their friends or even society in general and don't normally care about what's online and how it can affect them and others. Times have changed and rebellion has reached the virtual age and taken many forms.
Online social networks can't control what people lie about or individual behavior. For example, when people lie about their age. True age and identity verification is possible but it is also very bureaucratic, requires paid resources and is time-consuming, taking away the simplicity of quickly signing up for a free account in just a minute or two to enjoy all the "fun". Safety is a parent's responsibility and a matter of properly educating people about protecting themselves while enjoying their online presence.
I hope this information helps concerned parents, Myspace users and others. It only reflects my personal opinion. People will always do what people will do, regardless of good or bad advice. Your comments, positive or negative, are welcome.
Additional Safety Tips:
Visit http://www.wiredsafety.org/
Studies:
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