Everyone has their own opinions of any given set of events. A fly ball hits someone's foot, and bounces into another's hands. The person who's foot was touched, thinks they are rightfully the owner of the ball. However, the person with the ball in their hands, will see it differently. Everyone's psyche accepts circumstances for how they see them, not necessarily how they really happened.
But the truth never changes, and until we can accept that, it's hard to move on in a peaceful manner. When the bully picks on anyone weaker than them, for years and years, and one day gets the beating they deserve, the bully will see it in his opinion, and the underdog will see it in theirs. Until the truth is uncovered, everyone seems to have their own ideas as to what happened at any given time.
A young man is lazy and sloppy at work, doesn't do what is asked of him by his boss, doesn't help out in a positive manner, chances are, they will be fired. They may find fault with the boss, and blame him for their financial loss, and their heartships, when in reality, and that is the KEY word, reality, of the situation, they weren't holding up their end of their duties.
They'll exaggerate the circumstances, and stand firm on their idea of what type of a worker they were, but the truth is the truth, it can't be changed, or manipulated, or exaggerated. Those that continually blame others for their shortcomings, will live in that martyr role for the rest of their lives. Anyone they can talk into believing in their recollections of an occurrence, will be their friend forever.
The truth is hard to deal with, that's why so many people have a hard time dealing in it. It's so much easier to remain blameless, when you can push all the blame onto someone else. "They did this, and this, and this." You won't hear anything about their part. Could they truly be so self absorbed that they think they were blameless? It takes two to argue, two to make up, and two to move forward.
To move forward with a positivity that you are doing the right things, it's best to confront the past, make peace with it, change what needs to be changed, and move on. I did so 16 years ago, when I stopped drinking. I made the effort, after suffering from the death of my mother, to find other ways to deal.
I'm proud of myself for that accomplishment, and no longer live in the past, especially 16 years ago. Manipulation of the facts runs rampant in our society. Everyone wants to lift the blame off of themselves, and hand it off to another. That is a very cowardly way of living. And very annoying to the person who is trying to move ahead in a decent and functional manner.
Living in the past is foolish. Unless you are learning from your past mistakes at the time, as I did in 12 step meetings, and continue to today. There is no reason to visit what used to be, instead of living in what is happening today. You deal with it, you fix it, and you move on. You don't linger in what you said or did 20 years ago, when you are not under those same circumstances.
I live for today, I am happy with myself, I am happy with my family, and I love my home and beautiful property. These are the things I will concentrate and focus on, not anything that happened in the past. It's a new life, I have everything I need, want, and deserve, and I will move forward in an inspired frame of mind. I will not revisit a past I already made peace with.
There is so much to enjoy, and so much to be thankful for, and I will continue to enjoy and be thankful. I recommend this type of philosophy or belief system to everyone. You can't live in today, if you are buried in all the yesterday's of life. If you don't pay your electric, it will be shut off. Who will you blame? Yourself for not paying on time, or the electric company?
Some just cannot accept any part of any situation, even when they themselves, created it. Their part of the pain and hardships will never be recognized, never be accepted, never be told. And they will usually gravitate to others who think in the same way. Others who do believe in the truth, will see right through their one sided stories.
I laugh at those who think they know all the circumstances of any given situation. Especially when I know they weren't involved to see for themselves. However, I can choose not to deal with them. There is no truth to anything they say, there is no trust, no loyalty, and no ownership of their part. Simply, just what they want to believe. That's their stuff. Friends come and go.
It's the ones who have dignity and loyalty and honesty, caring and compassion, that I want to be around. I am blessed to have what I have. I worked hard for it, I know that, God knows that, and I could care less what any other soul on this Earth thinks. I know I am doing my best, and if that isn't good enough, it's no one's business but my Higher Power.
Very true, Sue. What amazes me is that the ones who really need to contemplate the fallacy of their opinions are not the ones who do it. I guess it's just the way of human nature, but it still doesn't make sense to me.
The person who is constantly taking advantage of the weak and frail is typically the one who feels the most righteous and justified. The person who looks out for the weak and the frail is typically the one who always questions if they are doing the right thing.
There seems to be a blindedness that is part of human nature. Oh to have eyes that see!
the saying "The truth is in the eye of the beholder" was very wrong, in my opinion, which is just that, MY opinion, not necessarily fact. my eyes see things differently than others. it is those who can not see that ruin it for the rest. those that believe their opinion is all there is to any given story or situation. there are two sides, and when one can't defend their side, the righteous and the "justified" feel like they can say anything they want, and it'll be true.
Dear Sue, this is a beautiful and uplifting article. I liked the directness of your comment that "living in the past is foolish...unless you are learning from your past mistakes..." That is telling it like it is, and I think we all need that, especially regarding truth. I enjoy your direct style. It is very heartfelt. ~Jane
Hi Sue, great article and I like the part where you say that you are doing your best and if that's not good enough it's no one's business--bravo! It's obvious you have a good heart and I for one, respect that more than most other "things" people may have.
i am a cancer, and it has been mostly for the good that my heart is as big as it is, but detrimental at other times.
the truth is what means the most to me, and when others shed their light on something, i wish everyone would realize, it's "their" light, and not necessarily the truth.
"lazy and sloppy at work, doesn't do what is asked of him by his boss, doesn't help out in a positive manner, chances are, they will be fired. " In the medical world they are more likely to be promoted!
Great job here, Sue. Very insightful and relevant.
yes, some people actually believe their own stories, especially those that are filled with lies and deceptions. always willing to put the blame on others. always ready to take the shortcuts, and always ready to omit their part. however, there is one who sees all!
Well done. Back in the old days this poor work-ethic wasn't a problem since people it seemed worked harder. Sure, we have very hard workers today, yet collectively I don't know.
Today we have people who cannot wear a uniform because they are allergic to the fabric, can't do simple math because they weren't taught correctly, etc. They then apply for a job where a uniform or certain math skills are required and they get hired. Why? Companies have to make allowances for all of these ailments (not to be confused with disabilities) otherwise they will wind up in court. Sad, it is. And the government is the worst of all, since you see it all of the time at the DMV and the Post Office. We are working toward the lowest common denominator, not the highest; toward a country (and world, perhaps) where it doesn't matter if you can actually perform a task but only if you try. I don't know about you, but when my truck needs repairing or the power goes out after a storm, I don't want someone who will try to do the job. I want the best and most able. Is that too much to ask?
Yes, very true. Six people can witness the same thing and the same time, and you get six different stories of what happened. Interesting isn't it.
Good on you for having learned to live in the present. A hard thing to do and worthy of plaudits! I'm finally learning to do the same after a traumatic childhood. When I look back now, I am seeing clearly and learning and growing, and finding the truth. It is refreshing, even if it took me nearly 60 years! Keep up the good work, Susan.
thank you for reading and commenting, i do appreciate it.
when we are kids, and play the game telephone, where someone starts a story and tells the next person, then they tell the next person, and on and on, by the time the story reaches the end, it is no where near what it started out to be.
Disclaimer: All information on this site is provided for informational purposes only! By no means is any
information presented herein intended to substitute for the advice provided to you by any health care or other professional
or organization.
