The Destroying Angel
or The Poet's Dream
"I dreamt a dream the other night
That an Angel appeared to me, clothed in white.
Oh! it was a beautiful sight,
Such as filled my heart with delight.
And in her hand she held a flaming brand,
Which she waved above her head most grand;
And on me she glared with love-beaming eyes,
Then she commanded me from my bed to arise.
And in a sweet voice she said, "You must follow me,
And in a short time you shall see
The destruction of all the public-houses in the city,
Which is, my friend, the God of Heaven's decree."
– William McGonagall
I hope agree with me so far but I would like to point out that you have not seen anything yet. Included at the end of this next poem is my favourite McGonagall quote off all time. The poem is about the first commercial soap on the market at the time in a factory near to where McGonagall lived and "worked".
Sunlight Soap
"You can use it with great pleasure and ease
Without wasting any elbow grease;
And when washing the most dirty clothes
The sweat won't be dripping off your nose
You can wash your clothes with little rubbing
And without scarcely any scrubbing;
And I tell you once again without any joke
There's no soap can surpass Sunlight Soap;
And believe me, charwomen one and all,
I remain yours truly, the Poet McGonagall."
– William McGonagall
McGonagall also has a habit of breaking basic grammar rules in his poem about the Tay Bridge disaster that saw the entire destruction of an enormous bridge and the death of over 70 people.
Tay Bridge Disaster
'Twas about seven o'clock at night,
And the wind it blew with all its might,
And the rain came pouring down,
And the dark clouds seem'd to frown,
And the Demon of the air seem'd to say-
"I'll blow down the Bridge of Tay."
- William McGonagall
After reading these poems you have probably made your mind up as you will either love him or hate him. His poems are not a work of literary for professors to spend years studying. But they entertain – is that not the reason why we read poetry?
I find that McGonagall is not like the guy who wanders on to Britain's Got Talent or X-Factor, gives a horrible performance and we all take pleasure at laughing at how bad he is. He is however, in many respects, different: you may buy his book because it is filled in the classics section but would you buy the CD of that guy who toddles on the stage?
Most likely not because unlike McGonagall the guy on TV is a Cliché – as far as I know there is no serious poet who can rival McGonagall.
He is by no means an obscure writer -in Victorian terms McGonagall was a best-selling author!
However, there is a high chance (like many) you will dismiss McGonagall as a joke. In many ways I do see where you are coming from but I still urge you to give it a go if for nothing else it will be a conversation starter.
To finish, I would like to leave you with the words of wisdom from the man himself in his song "The Rattling Boy from Dublin:
"Whack fal de da, fal de darelido,
Whack fal de da, fal de darelay,
Whack fal de da, fal de darelido,
Whack fal de da, fal de darelay. "
-William McGonagall
Connor Davidson 06/18/09
