Life would certainly be a lot happier if we could avoid an argument altogether. But then, we'd never have the opportunity to practice some well-meaning principles that have the power to makes us a better person. Ten Inner Agreements to Diffuse an Argument:
1. Agree to be honest with yourself. What actually is your part in the disagreement? Are you trying to prove a point by being over-bearing?
2. Agree to keep your own temper under control. Take control of your temper. Flaring tempers just add fuel to the fire. If you need to walk away, say time out!
3. Agree not to allow your defenses to dictate your tone of voice. Are you raising your voice to match your defenses? Are your defenses up before you even hear the whole issue?
4. Agree to look at the issue from the other person's point of view. This doesn't mean that you agree, it simply means being open to see some puzzle piece you may be missing.
5. Agree not to jump to conclusions with your own assumptions. Get the facts of the matter before gleefully pointing out the other person mistakes.
6. Agree to be willing to listen with respect by maintaining eye contact with the other person and by all means, avoid giving the evil eye'.
7. Agree not to trust your human nature to repel anything that comes out of the other person's mouth. Your first instinct may be to feel that intense repulsion to every word the other person says.
8. Agree within yourself to take into consideration the other person's feelings. Just as you have feelings about the issue, be aware that the other person does too.
9. Agree not to make any promises just to end the disagreement. Making empty promises will always backfire with double the ammunition.
10. Agree not to make rash decisions in the heat of the moment. Rash decisions come with a hefty price tag and you just may regret ever making that rash decision.
Arguments are simply different points of view which are expressed in an angry manner. Apply any or all of these principles and you hold the power over any argument.
Krystalina Soash is a freelance writer specializing in article writing in the self-improvement arena. Her writing services include proofreading, editing, and ghostwriting. You may visit her at
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