My husband and I married young; too young – just two days after my 18th birthday. Our first child followed within three years and there was no way I was going to be able to stay home with her. My husband immediately stepped up and helped with the "wake up every two-to-three hour" thing and I knew then, he was going to be a great dad. I was also blessed in that he was not afraid to have Britt home all alone while I went shopping. Best of all, he never used the phrase, "Do I have to babysit" when referring to being home alone with his baby.
I am not sure if this was because I bashed on men who did this, or if in his heart, he was excited for his daddy time without mom interfering and telling him how to do every little thing – well, I am sure, he loved his time alone with her. In fact, many times he would ask me if I would go to the store and buy him a candy bar just to get me out of the house.
Two years after our daughter was born, our son came along and once again he proved to be in love with his fatherhood.
We shared the sad responsibilities of getting our children to day care and took turns staying home with them when they were sick.
It was tough missing their daily routine, but we spent every other moment with them and made sure our weekends were reserved for family time.
When our children were six and four, I was blessed to work for a company that gave me the freedom to set my own hours. Since my husband specialized in residential construction, he could not start his day too early, so I opted for the 5:00am to 1:00pm shift at work, making the day at daycare shorter for the kids, and eventually allowing me to be home before their school day ended.
This meant my husband had the morning shift with the kids. He was responsible for making sure they ate breakfast and he had to help them dress for the day. When they started school, he either gave them a ride, or made sure they were at the bus stop on time. They would sit in his truck telling stories and laughing until the bus came. He did this everyday all the way through high school. In fact, my husband was crushed the day our daughter got her driver's license. Fortunately, for him, our son did not get his driver's license until the latter part of his senior year, giving my husband the pleasure of driving him to the bus stop.
There were many interesting moments along the way for the three of them. Obviously, there is not enough space for me to list them all, but I share a few that come to mind which show that my husband truly deserves all the accolades of Father of every year.
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"Sharon, why is Britt still in her pajamas, it's 1:30 in the afternoon", I asked.
"Teresa, I didn't have the heart to ask Art about her clothes for the day, this is what she was wearing when he dropped her off and he didn't bring a change of clothes."
The interesting thing was these pajamas were not the one's she slept in the night before. Ever so gently, I asked, "Honey, did you have a problem finding Britt's clothes this morning?" He gave me one of those looks that said, "Are you trying to tell me how to dress my daughter?" He promptly defended himself by saying he thought she looked cute in the purple care bear outfit.
"Honey, that is a pajama outfit." Oh well, what are you gonna do? At least she looked cute and by the time she was seven, he was an amazing hair stylist. In fact, so good, she always requested that daddy brush her hair because he didn't hurt her the way I did. (What's with that!)
Then there was the time when I picked Britt and J up from day care only to find Britt in tight jeans that looked more like long shorts and J was wearing jeans that were hanging off his bum and the legs at least 6 inches too long.
"Sharon, what's with the clothes?" Okay, so maybe he got the pants mixed up, but seriously, this one I have to blame on Sharon, because she should have had the kid's exchange pants. "But we don't want to offend parents", she says. "Understood", I say.
Art confessed that Britt did try to tell him, but everyone knows, "Father knows best"….
From ages 10/8 through 13/11, we lived on lakeside property. We purchased an old boat for $800 bucks. With a little TLC, Art had it running and everyday after work, he was on the boat with the kids. (They invited me -- sometimes.) We didn't have much money, so we literally used penny rolls to make sure we had enough gas money for the boat to "set out at sea" and make it back to the docks. He was so creative that the kids never realized the real reason they were "stranded at sea", was because there was only a few dollars worth of gas in the boat.
I was pleasantly surprised to learn that many times after midnight, he would sneak out of bed, wake up the kids, and take them for a late night (or early morning) run on the boat. He saw no need to invite me along. (What's with that!)
As the kids approached the teen years, everyone warned us that our days with our kids were numbered. "Soon they won't want to be seen with you", they would say. We were crushed, but not defeated – we prayed faithfully that no matter what, we would remain close with our kids.
Thanks to the silly wiles of their daddy (and the grace of God) this day never came. There was never a day that passed when they didn't ask "what time is dad going to be home"? J always waited outside for him. He always wanted to be the first one to greet his daddy at the end of the day.
At 18 years old, he still does this when he can.
The greatest thing about my husband is that when we were having our hard times, he remained faithful and never failed to make them laugh. When he would lose his temper, he would apologize and tell them that dad's make mistakes too.
A few years ago, we talked with the kids about our time on the lake – they were shocked to find out how little money we had.
Britt confessed she was a brat at school – always bragging about how much money her family had because we lived on the lake and had a boat that her dad took her and her brother out on everyday.
Oh My! Nevertheless, I count this as a tribute to the creativity of their father. My kids have learned a most valuable lesson; It doesn't take money to be a good daddy, it takes heart. Something I know he has passed on to J, and something I know Britt will watch for in her future husband.
Now if I can only convince my husband that his son is truly stronger than he is, and he is not letting J win when they arm wrestle, my job as a mom and wife will be complete.
To my husband - thank you for breaking the mold, you have proven that it doesn't take having a good father to become one.
Happy Father's Day to all of you daddy's out there!
