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Home » Categories » Personal » Dating / Socializing » Are You Going Through A Serious "Dry Spell" With Women? » Reprint Rights » Printer Friendly

Scot McKay - Dating Coach

Are You Going Through A Serious "Dry Spell" With Women?

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Submitted Saturday, June 20, 2009
Scot McKay - Dating Coach (6,463)
Scot McKay - Dating Coach

X & Y Communications
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It's been 45 years since Mick Jagger talked about how he "can't get no satisfaction". One of the most memorable lines from that song is "I'm trying to make some girl, who tells me baby better come back, maybe next week' 'cause you see I'm on a losing streak."

Well, based on what I've been able to gather, Mick got over his "losing streak" pretty quickly.

And if you're on one right now, so will you.

And if you're NOT on one? Well, I'm about to show you how to make sure it NEVER HAPPENS.

But first, I think it's necessary to clarify what usually CAUSES a "losing streak" to begin with.

To say one is on a "losing streak" (or "in a slump", if you will) implies that there was a time when one was WINNING. There has been a CLEAR CHANGE of fortune-in the southbound direction.

Almost always, the beginning of such a slump can be traced to a particularly bad breakup or heinous incident of rejection from a particular woman.

Think about that as we go over these FOUR KEY WAYS to end a "losing streak", because it's going to be VERY IMPORTANT to keep in mind

Here we go...

1) GET BACK OUT THERE

Call this the "macro" version of the "three second rule". Just like you do well to wait no longer than three seconds after deciding to approach a woman to ACTUALLY DO SO, don't let yourself wait any longer than THREE DAYS after a particularly bad breakup to start MEETING WOMEN again.

Sure, I know you've been dealt a pretty heavy hit. But the longer you wait to get your profile on Match.com, talk to women on Twitter and/or spark up conversations with bank tellers and waitresses the greater the likelihood "analysis paralysis" is going to kick in.

And I know you guys. You're a particularly intelligent crowd who is especially prone to this issue.

You know, on second thought you'd be better off not waiting more than THREE HOURS after a woman harshes your buzz to get out there.

2) FORGET AND FORGIVE

You've heard the term "forgive and forget". And you probably know how hard it is to do that.

But I've come to an interesting realization within the past few weeks, thanks to Facebook.

I've been really enjoying reconnecting with old friends from high school and college. There have been some great conversations that have really made my day.

But crazily, there have been at least TWO INCIDENCES where I've finished up a very cool conversation with someone only to come to a stunning realization later.

I had STOPPED TALKING to that person years ago because we had been seriously mad at each other!

Nowadays? Here's the thing. I had clearly forgotten what it was we were so mad at each other about. And apparently, so did the other person.

What that says to me is just how SILLY resentment and bitterness is, not to mention USELESS.

All it does is eat at YOU from the inside.

And the simple fact that FORGETTING about how someone has wronged you AUTOMATICALLY results in forgiveness was a sobering thought to me.

Time does heal woundsbig time.

So the question is simply this: Can you INTERNALIZE that belief and use it to ACCELERATE the process?

Can you really let go of the resentment you feel toward that woman for burning you? If you can, it'll benefit YOU.

You can even call forgiveness your "best revenge", if you must, in order to sleep better at night.

So how does this END your "losing streak? Simple. Forgiving equals losing bitternesslosing bitterness equals attracting women you deserve (e.g. not bitter ones).

Great women STAY AWAY from bitter dudes. When you stay bitter, you stay by yourself.

3) DO MORE OF WHAT YOU'RE BEST AT

When you feel like you've "lost", there's no better medicine to cure what ails you than WINNING.

One of your first thoughts when you "lose" a woman should be to go out and WIN at something else.

Intentionally focus on what you're best at, and go out and grab a victory. Or two. Or six.

Intentionally focus on what you're best at, and go out and grab a victory. Or two. Or six.

Do this RAPID FIRE.

I really don't care whether you're a world-class expert at karaoke, bowling, salesmanship or Wii. Go out there and WIN.

And do it FAST.

Why? Because you need your CONFIDENCE built back to where it should be.

The beauty of this whole concept is that once you gain CONFIDENCE anywhere, you can port that mindset immediately to your interactions with women. And that's EXACTLY what you need when you're on a "losing streak" with women.

4) REALIZE "REBUILDING" DOESN'T HAVE TO TAKE FOREVER

This last one could arguably be the LEAST obvious.

There seems to be a pandemic belief out there that meeting someone new and starting a new relationship takes a WHOLE LOT OF TIME and a WHOLE LOT OF ENERGY.

And what this belief does to someone who feels like they've just been kicked to the curb is it FREEZES them in place.

The last thing we FEEL like doing when we're feeling ragged is STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN.

It seems intimidating, if not flat-out depressingbut ONLY when the "limiting belief" I just described is in effect.

The tragic part is that meeting someone new and building AMAZING rapport with her DOES NOT have to take a lot of time.

In fact, the FASTER it happens, the more AUTHENTIC that connection likely is.

Let's say you meet a woman online for coffee.

It could take TEN MINUTES before she says the magic words, "You know, I've known you for ten minutes, but if feels like we've known each other for TEN YEARS."

And seriously, when you are a "big four" man who ignites femininity you're likely to SHOCK YOURSELF at how easy it is to get to know a great woman.

That key idea of INSPIRING HER CONFIDENCE, making her feel safe and comfortable with you, is all-important here.

Plus, if you think about it, what's more exciting than discovering all the "firsts" with an amazing new woman? This should be PURE ADRENALINE, not drudgery. Right on?

So how about it? I've pretty much broken down here how "losing streaks" are all in YOUR HEAD, haven't I?

Just like a major league DH who's in a woeful hitting slump hasn't really lost his talent, NEITHER HAVE YOU.

He has hit .300 before, and will do so again just as soon as he snaps out of his funk and figures out who the hell he is.

You were BORN to attract women.

Just because things went awry with one woman doesn't mean you've lost your mojo. You've just got to man up and reclaim your birthright.

There's no time for feeling sorry for yourselfever. Slap a diaper on that mindset.


Scot McKay is a dating and relationship coach, online dating consultant, talk show host and founder of X & Y Communications.  He lives in San Antonio, TX with his wife and co-conspirator Emily (who he met online), three kids and two hairless terriers.

Discover his down-to-earth approach to dating, mating and relating at www.deservewhatyouwant.com, and get a free e-book when you subscribe to his popular weekly newsletter.

 



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