It's not my nature to dwell on ugliness. I'm an optimist to the core. It's a choice I made long ago. I rather enjoy the PollyAnna mentality. After all, PollyAnna lived a pretty happy life, you know?
So imagine my dismay when I found out that the work I'd done for some folks who claimed to be "saving a herd" turned out to be a bunch of nonsense. My heart sunk like the Titanic. And I could feel my blood pressure trying to skyrocket. I took a deep breath (well, actually quite a few deep breaths) and closed my eyes to say a prayer for those horses. I also said one for the humans who seem to be so horribly miserable. Why else would they do such things?
It took me a bit to recover, once I'd found out these truths. And it wasn't just what I'd "heard". There were things I witnessed in person that set off my internal alarms, warning me to pay attention and not be so naive. There is a vast difference between words and actions. I've known plenty of slick 'talkers' in my time, and my gut was telling me I'd just met two more. DRAT!
So what to do next? What course of action was there for me to take now that I'd found out what I'd found out? Better yet, was any course of action due? What if, instead, I let them do what they do and just stay out of it? Oh. But that would mean I'd have to give up "control". Oh my.
When faced with such decisions, my usual M.O. is to just let it 'simmer'. Sleep on it. Let go of the need to "fix" anything and just wait. It's not always the easiest thing (for me), but it's quite effective and has become easier over time. Little by little, I've let go of The Controller and allowed a more passive persona to emerge. (Not sure "passive" is the proper word, but it's close.) As I've done this, this letting go of control, I've learned that it's not as hard as I once made it. It's more about seeing the Big Picture. Understanding, from a 'higher" place that I am NOT in charge of everyone else. I'm not in charge of anyone else. The only person I have any say-so with is ME. Once this little seed took root, everything changed.
Did my choice to do nothing have any negative impact on the lives of those horses? I doubt it. Regardless of any action I may have taken, one thing was very clear. They were in the hands of people over whom I had no control. The ONLY way I could have made a difference in the lives of those critters would have been to steal them all and move them somewhere far, far away. I don't fancy myself a rustler, so that choice was out of the question. No. It seemed to me that the only course of action I could take was to hold them in my heart, send all the love I have out to them, and let go of my fear. Horses are very intuitive animals. They would get it. Even if the humans they were living with didn't.
Now it's just a matter of time. Sooner or later the wheel turns. Call it Karma. Or God's Grace. Or The Almighty Hammer. It's all the same thing. What goes around comes around. Energy does that. So now, as I send my love to those horses, and I close my eyes so they might see me, I must trust that there is a God who will "make it right". I just hope he shows up before any more of them die.
Camille Strate is a blossoming Being who spends much of her time writing, romping with her critters and occasionally crafting treasures from wood. Her latest book, "Whispers ~ The Often Subtle Sometimes Rowdy Voice Of Truth" is now available in paperback and eBook formats. For more information, please visit her site at: JoyZAChoice. Woodwitch.etsy.com
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