He knows me as Gramdad. I inherited that mantle from my own father. It's a title I cherish.
Mason, my grandson, is 16 months old now, and I suppose I am biased but hes a handsome boy, smart, and just downright adorable. (Okay, enough with the bragging. Just had to indulge for a minute.)
This Gramdad role is new to me since his birth, and yesterday I had another first in that role. He wished me a Happy Father's Day. He's too young to really speak on the phone yet, so he sent me an email with pictures (with his Mom's help, of course). It made me smile, warmed my heart, and made my Father's Day extra special.
It also made me think.
With luck and God's will, I'll still be around when he turns 22, graduates from college, and ventures out into the job market. Even so, for a moment I wondered if the advice I'd give him now were he 22 would apply twenty- some years from now. Things change and the world is far different today than when I was 22. It's changed since I became a recruiter. In many ways, it's changed in the last 5 years.
So, what world will my grandson know in twenty years? Will the job market be as competitive then as it is now? Will green jobs be the norm? Will the Government be the primary employer? Will healthcare still be private or controlled by the government? Will capitalism be replaced with a more collectivist business principle? These and many other questions are for a different discussion on a different day, but the fact remains, it will change. Would my advice change with it? I thought about that for awhile and in the end, I realized that no, it would not.
What I do know is that the human spirit, the need for self-determination, the love of freedom, and the innate drive to succeed and prosper within each of us will always be a constant. I see it every time I see a video of little Mason, whether it was when he was trying to walk, fell down, and got up again with a smile on his face, or any other new thing he may try to master. It isn't the falling that defines us. It's the rising up to try again. And he always smiles. That's who he is. I know in my heart, that is who he will always be.
I can't even imagine what the world will hold for him when he reaches maturity, but there are things that remain as constant as his smile when he tumbles.
What principles would I want him to remember from his Gramdad?
I'd tell him now what I know I'd still tell him then. I would say:
Be yourself!
Peer pressure at any age is a real factor. The desire to fit in and be accepted is powerful. Go with the flow, but don't let the current send you adrift. There is an old saying or quote, and I wish I recalled it verbatim, but it goes something like this: If you want to soar with eagles you can't walk with turkeys. People will try to drag you down to their level of mediocrity or lack of ambition and if you allow them to accomplish that, you lose. It's not who you are nor is it who you were meant to be. Don't ever let anyone steal your attitude, drive, and ambition. Be the best you can be no matter what that means to you. Choose your friends and associates with care in accordance with their support of who you are.
Be honest.
Not just with yourself but with others. Lying, cheating, or dishonesty in any way is never acceptable. Keep your integrity at all costs. Long before I was born and while I was growing up, a man's word and handshake were his bond. It was trusted and a commitment. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Own your decisions and actions.
All the decisions you make throughout your life carry responsibility and consequences. Wallowing in self-pity or blaming others for your misfortune diminishes you and is an immature way of dealing with life. If you make great decisions, that's wonderful. If you screw up, admit it. Were all human and do make mistakes. Maturity is recognizing them and dealing with reality and the consequences.
Give more than you take.
Remember to be grateful. No man succeeds on his own or becomes successful without many people who help and mold him, be they parents, siblings, relatives, friends, teachers, or bosses. The list is never-ending. Strive to give more to the people in your life than you expect in return. Say thank you, be generous, and have a giving heart.
Never stop learning.
Develop a quest for knowledge. Read, study, and always try to learn new things. You will never know it all and when you stop learning you stagnate. Always be as you are now. Be curious and inquisitive.
Laugh at yourself.
Never lose the smile that already warms the hearts of everyone you meet. Never take yourself too seriously. If you take yourself too seriously you become a stuffed shirt and overly important, at least in your mind.
Be humble.
Ego is necessary, but arrogance and superiority aren't. Every person you meet, no matter their title, station in life, educational background or economic standing in this world deserves respect. They all have worth and can teach you if you respect them.
The last thing I want you to remember, Mason, is this. Its the most important thing of all.
I love you.
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This article is heartwarming. It touched me. I don't have any children, I won't have any grandchildren but i have so many nieces and newphews. You words of wisdom and principles, I will relay to them. Thank you for writing this article.
I'm almost unable to leve a comment, for the tears are blurring my vision. But I want to state that Mason is a very Blessed grandson, and you a Blessed Grandfather! I'm sure these values will stay strong in him. Thanks for sharing this, Mark!
Mark, what a beautiful letter. With sound and timeless advice. Thank you for the little peak into your family. What a treasure you have! Blessings, Teresa
» left by Mark Ste. Marie(233) Mark Ste. Marie (113 days 15 hours ago.)
Thank you for the great comment Ken. I'm glad you enjoyed the article and I agree, it is advice worth practicing.
This was a most beautiful, warming article. I can so relate, as I have a young grandson that I adore with all my heart and worry incessently about what the future will be for him. He fills so many of my articles that I fear most people get tired of hearing my ovations. Thanks for sharing your heart with us.
real work there mark you realy gave mason an advice a grand dad should give to a grand son especaially about peer group. you know that perr prssure has been a source of bad influnce to our children in this days of ours.
Hi Mark, nicely done and some really good advice for your grandson. Hopefully some of it will be useful to him those 20 odd years from now. If not then he can at least take away from it the most important information you provided, that you love him.
Wow, Mark! Your article made my heart cry. I began to think about my little Caleb and how special he is to me. What a great inheritance to give filled with awesome words of wisdom.
Hi, Mark, This article is full of love, joy, and caring with a practical, sincere, and down to earth touch. It kept me involved from beginning to end. Your writing style is fluid and clear, and I am glad to learn about your writing through SW.
I enjoyed this article and especially as it as written by Grandpa. I love when men write inspirational thoughts because their concept of dealing with life is so unique and different from most women.
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