I really don't think that there is a better friend than your dog. Loyalty, undying and true, along with unconditional love is the glue that binds man with his best friend. I have written about my dog Shilo before, but in this story, there is a different tone that is taken. I am about to lose him. He is getting so old, like me. We both share the same feelings, and the same emotions of growing old. He is my best friend. As I sat outside this morning, sipping on my coffee, he was looking up at me with his arthritic ridden body, not moving his head, just his eyes would move, he would look up at me as if to say, "I know my friend what dilemma you must be going through, but threat not my friend, for we all have our place in paradise". My wife Christine thought I was yelling at her last night as I was frustrated with my best friend, because he had 3 accidents in the house, which he had never done, and my frustration was not with her, but myself. There is nothing I can do about it. The Vet told me that this day would come, and I have dreaded it since he told me. He said "All you can do is make him comfortable, take this medicine and see if it helps with the pain", but it didn't. The raising of my voice was not at my wife, but with me. I remember the day that I rescued him from under a trailer, he was thin, all bones, riddled with worms from living on his own after someone had dumped him in the desert to die, no water, his foot pads were damaged from the heat of the desert floor, and he was very close to death. My wife and I had brought him back to good health, eventually he was going through the slow process of trusting humans again, and eventually he became a member of our family.
It kills me to think that I have to let him down; that I can't fix what is wrong. It kills me that I now am faced with a decision that I do not want to make. Should he live, or should I put him down. It is hard to make that decision, when he is looking up at me with one eye of brown, the other of blue. Our days of living in Colorado were filled with wonderful days as he would sit in my truck, and want to go everywhere with me. I can't do that here in Arizona, as he would die of a heat stroke. So he stays home and waits for me. He loves my wife also, and I know she loves him as well, and I keep saying over and over again in my mind, "God, give me the strength to make the right decision, and once I have made it, give me the strength to get through it". I don't want to loose my best friend. His memory is just not good enough, I want him to stick around for the next 10 years, or until I die. Is that too much to ask? I'm sure allot of you folks might think that this is silly, or that I should "Man up" to the idea to accept what is, but I'm not sure I can. If any of you can remember, Elvis Presley sang a song, (I don't think he was the original singer of the song, but the name of it was "Old Shep"). The words to that song keep running through my mind, "With hands that were tremblin', I picked up my gun, and aimed it at Shep's faithful head, and I just couldn't do it, I wanted to run, I wish they would shoot me instead". But at the end of a song, it had a good ending and I quote, "If dogs have a heaven, there's one thing I know, Ole' Shep has a wonderful home".
Shilo, I love you more than you know, losing you is like loosing a part of me, and my family, and I will miss you more than you know. You and I have always been the best of friends, and with your unconditional love, you have always been at my side. You will always be in my heart, and in my thoughts, and I will keep the biscuits in the truck ashtray, in remembrance of you. Remember when we would take a trip in my big old Chevy truck, you knew right where I kept the biscuits, and you would either flip open the ash tray, and steal all of the biscuits, or you would look at me as if to say, "Well, ya gonna give me some or what"? Then you would tilt your head, and make me laugh, and of course I would give in, and give you those biscuits. Well buddy, they will always be there for you. I will miss you my loyal friend.
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