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Home » Categories » Personal » Dating / Socializing » How To Cope When A Relationship Ends » Printer Friendly

How To Cope When A Relationship Ends

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Submitted Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Steve Hill (4,446)
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I am sure that we have all been through the nightmare of been dumped by our boyfriend or girlfriend. At times it is something that we were expecting, however more often than not it comes as a big shock. In this situation it is very hard to take, and in this article I give free tips on how to cope in this situation.

I have had a number of girlfriends, most of whom have decided to end the relationship. As a teenager even though it wounded my pride, I have to say that it did not really bother me. I at that stage had never met anyone who really lets say, did it for me. In fact most of these girls/women were quite annoying. They were either:

Too clingy and wanted to see me everyday, wanted me to call them seemingly every hour and became upset when I wanted to see my friends.

A crier, what I mean by that is that they would cry over the smallest things and were basically too emotional.

The jealous type. I am not one to cheat, however these type of girls would always be accusing me of seeing or fancying somebody else.

Untrustworthy. These are girls who I just knew were only interested in playing the field and who were basically only worth dating for a bit of fun.

I then met when I was around twenty-one a girl who seemed too good to be true. She was none of the above and we got on so well it was scary.

All of my life, I had had a dream to live by the coast as I love the sea. I was from a big city and was not particularly happy living in this fast pace of life. I yearned for a quite and tranquil existence.

After around two years of being with this new girlfriend, we decided that we would live together and that we would make my dream move. I was very happy and we moved to the southwest coast of England to the county of Devon.

I was very happy in my new home but my girlfriend soon became homesick. She missed her friends, parents and the family pets. We were now seeing each other basically all day everyday, where we had only spent around four nights a week together when we had lived in the city. We did not know anyone who lived in Devon and things began to become strained.

My girlfriend was now becoming quite moody and often stated that she wanted to move back. I certainly did not want to and hoped that she would soon grow to love Devon, as I did, and that she would meet new friends. I was still very happy to live with her and felt sure that it was just teething pains.

One day I arrived back at the bungalow where we lived, after doing some food shopping. I opened the door which to my surprise had been locked. Her car was not there and I wondered where she may have gone to. As I entered the living room, to my horror I found that many things were no longer there. Pictures I had purchased, the dvd player, the stereo and many ornaments had been taken. I looked around the rest of the bungalow and found many other items also missing.

It suddenly dawned on me that she had left me, and also taken as you have read a lot of stuff. I did not care about any of the items but was gutted that she had obviously dumped me. I was sat on a chair and could not stop crying.

I then decided to phone her but half way through dialing the number I stopped myself. I sat down and thought about what I may have done wrong. I could not think of anything major, I had not hit her, I had not cheated on her, the only thing I could think of is that I had not agreed to move back to the city with her.

I decided not to call her and started to think about all of the things I disliked about her, for example her mood swings. There were to be no more tears and instead I was going to celebrate being single by drinking a few beers and by ordering a pizza. She hated me drinking beer, but now I could.

I thought in a positive way about the future and was determined to stick it out in Devon. I will meet somebody else I thought to myself.

It was not easy to think in this way and I did miss her, I had after all dated her for a long time. She did not seem to miss me however as she did not phone me once to see how I was. This made me angry and actually made me think that I could probably do better. How would she have reacted if I had done something wrong, if this is how she is going to react when I haven't, I thought to myself. I would have at least thought she could have given me an ultimatem, for example I will leave you if you do not move back with me. Problem is what would I have done then.

As luck has it, I actually met my present fiancee the day after this all happened. We now have a child together and I could not be happier.

In conclusion, always think in a positive way, if you have done in your own mind nothing wrong, there is nothing to worry about. The person who has dumped you is probably not worth it anyway as the whole ethos of a proper relationship, is about support and about sticking together through the good times and the bad. If they are going to walk at the first sign of trouble they are probably not the person you thought they were.

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Comments on this article:


» left by tina123a from Birmingham, UK (1 year 354 days ago.)
Reader Rating: 4 out of 5
no, as this was one mans feelings and comments and doesn't even come close to how i can move on/get over it as i have a child with him and well no life as yet!! so it hasn't helped but I wish it could, lonely yes I am my life revolves around work and my children, i have no social life. i even went to the pictures on my own to watch good luck chuck and sat there thinking of my ex and who he was with - which won't be long before he is with someone. I work fulltime, own job, car, 2 children and can be a mare like most women but have a heart of gold, i just wanted the happy ever after but i seem to be the stepping stone for men that i meet. i may have the roof over my head for my children, job to keep my home going but it doesnt make it any easier that there was nothing i could do. he would keep drinking, lying, (hadn't cheated or had a 3some for 2 years) - in which I turned into a raving paranoid, questioner and ringer checking on him - but it still hurts and what hurts the most is that i know i will now never trust another male again. i wear my heart on my sleeve but most people are naturally born liars and take take take these are the ones I meet. anyway got it off my chest for another lonely night eh, thanks for listening
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» left by Steve Hill (4,456) (1 year 306 days ago.)
Thanks for the comment Tina, you write with a lot of passion.
Steve
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» left by Craig from United Kingdom (1 year 9 days ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
I've just stumbled upon this. Nice article that Steve.
 
My ex dumped me about 4 weeks ago and it still hurts. The worst part was she did it via text message and then refused to talk to me point blank. I've never been treated so badly by a woman before (who the night before was telling me how much she loved me). The whole thing was childish and she proved she had no respect for me or my feelings. I never did anything bad to her and yet I feel like the bad person in all this.
 
At the start of the relationship she was sleeping with someone else. Not a good start, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt as she was only 26 and we've all made mistakes. In hindsight I should have got rid of her at the beginning when I found that out.
 
I have a million questions in my mind and I may never get them answered. I'll have to put this down to experience I suppose. I'm too trusting for a male and wear my heart on my sleeve. I think she could see that. In fact now she's gone at least I don't have to see her nasty family anymore.
 
I'm glad you've found someone else and you're happy now. I'm 35 next week and I feel like I'm never going to find miss right. I'm trying to be positive though. I'm not sure if we're all destined to be with a particular person (who knows), I'd like to think the gift of real love will come my way soon though.

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» left by Anonymous (108 days 23 hours ago.)
hi,
 
I understand the way you feel I have been married to guy for about 3 years he has left me 3 times without explaning why he is leaving.  He has broken my heart so many times and I dont understand I have done nothing but being there for him.  like you I have many questions which I will never get the unswears.  I am also afraid that time is passing by me and perhaps I will stay along for a very long time.  just know that things happend for a reason and may be it is good to be along.  and may be it will help you feel better to know that there are many of us going through the same dilema.
 
good luck
 
 
 
 

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» left by Manuel Tigre from Hopkins MN (61 days 5 hours ago.)
Thas is life I am still suffering the pain of a broken relationship I met LeeAnn, on July of 2003, she just turned 17 I was 23.
We liked each other, and started dating  since she turned 18, as many couples we have had ups and downs, I always knew that I was the problem, because  of my temper. Maybe is too late but now I think why I treated her like that. I was 5 years old when My dad abused my mom,"hit"I saw that many times Then I was afraid to my dad living in my house was like living with a enemy, I was 17 when my dad was hiting my mom I tried to help my mom but my dad tried to hit my so I run away.
Violence, enemy, fear was a big part of my life; but I'll never forget what my mom have done for me. I knew my dad would  never change.
 Then I decided to come to USA, almost 6 years together with my girlfriend, 5 months ago she called me and broke up. I hope some day she will change her mind  so I can get a second chance.
we both had plans, marriage, kids, etc.  I'll be here waiting for Leeann...I can't change my past mistakes, but only make changes to be a better man.

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