It all started when we started our little project the "Veggie Garden". We had the bright idea of planting a veggie garden this year, and so I went down to the local rental place, and rented a rototiller. Well, we bought bags and bags of soil to mix in with the sand that is here in the desert, and quite honestly, we didn't think anything was going to survive with 109 degree temperature, really, c'mon. But alas, I am proud to say that my wife and I were very successful in planting this garden, the soil mixture must be just right, because the veggie plants just love it. That is the good part.
Here is the bad part, along with fresh veggies come the birds, yes birds, not to mention the other little critters that are as pesky as the birds. Well, you have to imagine in your mind that I had been watching my garden like a hawk, (pardon the pun), and everyday, an attempt was made to rob my garden by these pesky little varmits called "Doves, and Blackbirds". So in my wifes attempt to make our garden less attractive to the these birds, she brought home 5, count them, 5 scarecrows. So we set them up in the garden, all 5 of them, with their skinny arms and legs stuffed with straw, and do you think that kept out the birds? NOOOOOOOO!!!! Do you know whyyyyy they didn't stay out? Because the scarecrows faces are smiling that's why. I told my wife, "Scarecrows are supposed to be scary, they are not supposed to look like a cabbage patch doll"!! They don't scare the birds away. But they are still up, and smiling. We may as well give each scarecrow a sign to hold saying "Come and get it"!!
Well, I came up with this brilliant idea, how about a pellet gun, or even better, a B-B Gun? So I bought a B-B rifle, made by Daisy, (I spared no expense). Well the plan was to shoot AT the birds just missing them, keep in mind, I love animals, and yes, even birds, but I thought if I would just miss them, the noise of the B-B hitting the ground would scare them away. So this last Saturday, I am sitting on the back porch, fascinated by our beautiful garden, actually I cultivated the garden, and my wife planted it. I was having my morning cup of coffee when suddenly the phone rang, and my sister in law was on the other end, and her and my wife began chatting over the phone, while my wife was having her morning coffee. Suddenly, there it was....a dove in my garden, eye-balling my strawberries. Carefully, I leaned over, not making a sound, and picked up my Daisy B-B rifle, that I spared no expense for, and I cocked it and didn't even aim, and "POOF", a cluster of down feathers filled the air!!! Oh my God, I killed the poor beast! I was beside myself, and my wife is watching me as if I was a Dove Murderer.
Guilt poured through my body, I felt so much remorse, I looked at him after the feathers floated down, (I didn't know that they could float that high), and I looked at the poor birdie victim. He was still standing!!! He looked a little dazed, but he was still standing....I opened up the gate to the garden like I was on a quest to save this little beast, when he flew over by the palm tree right by the garden. Was he okay I thought? Will he live? So I proceeded to advance towards him so that I could examine him to make sure he was all right, when all of a sudden, he flew close to my face, and landed on my fence. I looked at him on the fence, and he was fine, I had just hit his down feathers, not him, and then he just took off. Well, I'm not sure if the gun idea was such a good one, but he didn't get my strawberries. I'm sure he will be back. And of course it will be when I'm not there, and probably bring all of his friends to poop all over my lawn furniture, eat all my strawberries and tomatoes, not to mention the green beans and eggplant, and if he does that.........I hope at least he will eat 1 hot pepper, if the B-B didn't get him, maybe Montezuma's Revenge will!!!!! I hate that bird.
