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Y ou're concerned that you'll hurt someone's feelings or you'll let people down if you say no. Or do you believe that your employees and customers won't like you if you refuse them? No matter what business or personal relationship you are in, there are times when you'll need to decline. How you go about it will make all the difference in the responses you'll get. Why not look ahead and plan for the response you want and learn how to say no in comfort and still be successful.
Handle Your Telephone Interruptions:
The phone rings and you automatically pick it up despite the fact that you have a four 0' clock deadline that is fast approaching. The person on the other end of the line is friendly and although you've hinted that you need to get off, your customer goes on rambling as if you never breathed a word. So what do you do? Let's face it; telephone interruptions head the list of time wasters. They get in the way of accomplishing your goals and they must be dealt with quickly and even planned for so that you are not de-railed from the tasks to be done. If more information is required by the other person or by you, arrange for an alternative time that you can have that conversation and add it to your day timer.
Use the telephone as a business tool that runs efficiently and on-task. Don't socialize on the phone during business hours; you'll see a decline in your output if you do. If necessary, while you're hard at work on a project, screen your calls or have them screened or held for you. Set a call back time ahead of time to let people know when you're available and find out their availability to keep phone tag at a minimum. I return phone calls from each day all at once. Batching my calls allows me to be free all day to concentrate on what's important.
Office Visitors That Won't Go Away:
Avoid dropping in on others if you want the same treatment. People at the office enjoy socializing when they want a break or distraction from their work. That's fine for them. However don't become their pit stop. If drop in on someone you must, be courteous and ask if it's an okay time. You'll want that same courtesy extended to you so it's important to model the behavior that you want to receive. If an unwanted visitor drops in while you're busy, stand up fast and keep standing. Tell her, you'll walk out with her, go to the wash room and then return to work. For those visitors who are deaf to any hints, don't use the subtle approach. Be direct and be loud and clear. "I'd love to talk with you but right now I can't, let's chat later on, say 4:30?" By setting up another time, you have dismissed the intruder yet given him another option. Walk the person to the door or pick up your telephone or bend your head back down into your paper work. This signals that the visiting time is over.
Let Them Down Gently:
It's not unusual to feel uncomfortable telling someone that you can't do something for them, especially if asked. But you know that sometimes you just can't lend a hand, even if you want to. Maybe your schedule doesn't permit and piles of work are heaped onto your desk just waiting for your attention. If you genuinely want to help, but not right now, let the person know. The person understands your earnest desire and feels supported because of how you've said no. Practice this phrase often and get comfortable using it. "I wish I could help you right now but I'm sorry, I just can't." If you really want to help out but the timing couldn't be worse, arrange for another time to come to their aid and be sure to follow through.
With other people who take advantage of your good nature over and over; you may need to be firm. Remind those associates of how you've helped out in the past and how much you haven't minded and have enjoyed being available to them. Yet be clear that this time, it's not possible because of a new priority that you must handle. Remembering what you have done for them before softens the blow. They can recall past memories when you lent a helping hand and their view of you remains positive.
Saying no is inevitable. How you do so reflects how others see you as well as how you see yourself. Be upfront and direct in your dealings with others and when you must say No, do so firmly yet gently. Massage the message so that even a "no" doesn't feel like a rejection.
Dr. Jo Anne White is an author, international author, speaker, certified, life, business and success coach. Visit www.docwhite.org for more information.
Disclaimer: All information on this site is provided for informational purposes only! By no means is any
information presented herein intended to substitute for the advice provided to you by any health care or other professional
or organization.
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