Lots of people don't like where they're at in their lives. Some regret their missed chances - my grandmother used to repeatedly tell me that she wished that she was 18 again! The male "mid-life crisis" sees many such disillusioned people trying to re-find their youth - often with the help of a youthful mate! Over two-thirds of people believe that they don't like the job they're doing - most say that they do it for the money. Others are in - and prepared to stay in - unhappy, dysfunctional or even violent relationships.
Many people's "nows" are not all they should be. And that's just the normal run of events - normal lives that are not too bad. But it can be worse - there are growing numbers of unemployed people as the current economic recession bites. There are many, many people in their mid- to late-50s who were looking forward to a comfortable retirement only to find that their pension fund was primarily invested in bank stocks - and, these days, they're hardly worth the paper they're written on (at present!).
And, yet, we've all these books, videos, gurus and websites telling people that they need to live in the "Now" - that "The Power of Now" will change your life. What's the point in encouraging people to fully experience a "Now" that they don't like or wish to change? Well, first of all, if you wish to change your "Now", thinking that it's horrible, feeling victimised by it and wallowing in it is going to change nothing - it's simply going to perpetuate it. Indeed, even just abject antipathy towards your current lot is just as bad if not even worse - there's little in life worse than pure laziness.
But before you can change anything, you must first accept that you are where you are and it is what it is. One of the great truths of life is that Now is the only time and place we have. Each Now arises and passes away. All things pass and, no matter how bad you may perceive this Now to be, it will pass. You know this already - most people, when asked what they were worried about, annoyed about or depressed about this day last year, have no idea! It's past.
In addition, you need actually to be grateful for Now. We all know many people who have no Nows left - and, I'm sure, given half the chance, would have made so much more of their Nows could they have them over. You know the old expression that no-one, on their deathbed, wishes that they'd spent more time in the office? Well, that's what I'm talking about. Use the Now you have - it's all you have. And that's what "Living in the Now" actually means. Not constantly perceiving your current lot through the filter of useless thought. Useless thoughts come in all shapes and sizes - from "I hate my job" (either stop hating it and just do it - there's loads of research that proves some of the happiest people on earth do what normal people would consider to be horribly mundane jobs) to "I hate my boss" (a particularly useless thought - given that your boss has control over your career as long as you work for them) - from "I wanted to retire sooner" (you can't if you don't have the money - you better do something about it rather than moan about it and feel victimised) to "I hate my husband (or wife)".
These are all thoughts through which we experience a version of Now - but our version has little or nothing to do with the reality of the moment. It's just our take on it.
Get over yourself - get over your useless thoughts - accept the Now for what it is and start living in it. Start experiencing the Now - paying attention to your five senses rather than paying attention to self-destructive thought. Research proves that if you start truly experiencing Now in this way, you will enter "flow" - a state of mind in which we become empowered. In that "present" state of mind we can take action to get out of the present Now that we think we don't like. Otherwise, looking through the haze of useless thought, we become paralysed and end up reacting and only making matters worse.
Take real action to bring your life to where you want it to be. That doesn't happen through wishing, hoping or wanting for something different or better. It only happens when we start taking real action - and real action can only be taken with a clear and present mind - one that is fully present in, fully appreciative of and fully experiencing the reality of Now.
Copyright (c) 2009 Willie Horton
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Willie's work in the area of self-improvement and meditation has been described as "life-changing" and "phenomenal" by clients from every walk of life. His acclaimed two-day personal development workshop is now available online at Gurdy.Net
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