Is your child lonely, sad, or angry? Would you like to teach your child how to make friends? If you don't know how, I'll share the secrets here.
First you need to know that research tells us the average child spends 25 hours in front of the TV each week.TV characters become their "friends" and their role models.
Speaking about role models, I remember teaching a new class of first graders. Everyone, except two little boys, was sitting tall in anticipation of story time. The two boys were rolling around slugging it out on the floor in the back of the room.
"Boys, what are you doing," I asked. "We're fighting. He's Tom and I'm Jerry. You know, in the cartoon," said the boy on top. "Don't worry," said the other. We do this all the time."
Parenting Tip - Why These Kids Don't Have Friends
Years later, as a child and family counselor, parents brought me their sad, angry and lonely kids.
These kids had one thing in common, "Nobody liked them. They had no friends." They didn't know how to make friends either. I'd ask them how they spent their time. "TV," they'd answer.
I worried about these kids.
One day, while at my in-laws, I shuffled through their bookcase and picked out a book that opened my eyes. Suddenly, I knew how to help these kids. Can you guess which book?
"How to Win Friends and Influence People"
It was Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People." I knew I could bring these social skills down to a child's level. I knew I could help parents teach the ideas in this book to their kids
But some parents said, "I don't have time," until I asked them, "Do you take your kids to games, music lessons, and doctor appointments? Do you eat dinner together? Do you put your kids to bed at night? Because if you do, you may have more time than you think." So, parents, how do you teach social skills?
Parenting Tip - Role Play Social Skills with Kids
Yes, you role play. You and your child practice acting out a scene with a social skill your child needs to learn. Your child becomes the youngster he wants as a friend. Then switch roles. Do this several times.
Parenting Tip - Use Charts to Help Your Kids Make Friends
Make a chart with the social skill he's learning. At the top it might say, "My goal is to practice smiling and being upbeat with everyone I see." Give your child a star each time he tells you how he was friendly.
Each week teach your child a new social skill. Role play it at home. Tell your child, "Practice at school, in the neighborhood, and at sports practices." Add his new social skill to his chart too.
Can you see how simple it is to role play? Can you see role playing a social skill in the car, at dinner, or at bedtime? Can you imagine how happy your child will feel making friends?
Conclusion for Teaching Your Kids How to Make Friends
Start teaching social skills today. Practice them yourself. If you do, you'll raise a friendly child and you'll enjoy being friendlier too.
Jean Tracy, MSS, invites you to receive 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids when you subscribe to her parenting newsletter at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com
Want more social skills to teach your kids? See my video and get 50 social skills to choose from at Social Skills Kit for Kids at http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/parent_resource_center.asp?pr_id=kd011 Watch your kids build fun friendships. Feel their happiness too.
Jean Tracy, MSS, taught
school in California, Washington, and Connecticut. Her Master’s Degree is from
Bryn Mawr College in Pennsylvania. Jean developed a child and family counseling
practice spanning 22 years. She authors books and creates counseling products to
help parents build character in their children, create a loving family, and
build a lasting marriage. Jean is an award-winning Distinguished Toastmaster
and speaks professionally. Her website, http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and her blog, http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com offer specific solutions for child and family problems.
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I actually believe interpersonal skills should be part of every school program. As a child growing up with alcolohic parents I had no idea what was healthy behavior and what was not and that in itself contributed to my social isolation. We need to know about boundaries, appropriate ways to deal with anger and conflict. When teenagers hit the workforce they have no skills to deal with work place bullies and the such. Life skills are more important than any other skill you will ever learn.
» left by Jean Tracy, MSS from Edmonds, WA (187 days 3 hours ago.)
Thank you for your insights, Robin. I agree. Life is difficult when you don't know how to make friends or be a friend. Some kids have a special ability. Others don't have a clue.
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