So, how do you handle it when two foster daughters come back from town with numerous little trinkets you know they had no money to buy? Well... here is how we handled it. Whether right or wrong,I think you will find humor in the situation. I've had the pleasure of sharing in the raising of several foster children. At the age of 52 this was like a new world to me. My own children were mostly out of the house by the time I turned 38 so this was a real eye opener. My partner in this had been fostering since 1994, so she knew all the tricks and what to look for. We tried to share our love with children that needed help, sometimes temporary, sometimes long term. A home filled with love and secuirty is what these kids need. There is never a dull moment in a house filled with foster kids.
Two fourteen year old foster daughters we will call Annabelle and Denise begged to go to town for a few hours as Denise was soon to go home to her family. We thought it might be a good idea, so I drove them to town and dropped them off with a dollar between them to share a coke. Three hours later... my partner, Sheila picked them up, to find them sporting a hat, new sunglasses and various other treasures. The story they had concocted was a fairly good one I thought, "a friend had bought them these things... and no... of course, they hadn't stolen the items." Well, unfortunately they hadn't reckoned on Sheila's persistence and acuity in detective work. She called the friend in question that evening, only to find he hadn't even seen the girls in town that day. Knowing the hysterics that would come from the confrontation, we chose not to inform them of our knowledge until the next morning. Right after breakfast Sheila laid a basket on the table and informed them they needed to cough up the jewels, because we now knew the score. Aghast is too shallow a word to describe their reaction...one cried and the other denied, to the best of her ability anyway. Slowly... (like pulling teeth) we finally managed to gather up what we thought was the extent of the haul. Denise had recently pierced her own lip, totally against our desires, and the basket now included two pairs of sunglasses, 2 lip rings, a belt and the aforementioned hat. We gathered them into the van and headed for town to return the goods.
As we drove, it became clear that Denise had done all the (heavy) lifting and Annabelle was only in it as far as keeping the story line going. With great reluctance, they finally revealed the name of the first store. The owner happened to be in and he treated the girls very fairly, banning them from his store for one year.... again, Annabelle wept. This first one really brought home to them the seriousness of the situation, as it was one of their favorite stores.The next store was more lenient and told them they could come back, but must have an adult with them. The last one was the dollar store where the East Indian owner just told them not to do it again, but made reference to the fact that in his country they will cut off your hand for such an offense.
Now, having emptied the basket, we drove to the Child Fostering Services to allow the girls to talk to their personal workers individually. During this time, Annabelle informed her worker that Denise was holding out on us. There was still a pair of shorts and another lip ring or two... So... back we go to the house.... where confrontation number two takes place. Upon being confronted with our new found information, Denise said, "Well, ask her about the pin." "What pin, we asked?" "Oh," says Annabelle... "I forgot about that!" You guessed it.... another trip to town, and a visit to a forth store to return yet another item from the great shop lifting, as well as another lip ring to the dollar store.... We still shake our heads wondering how they covered so much ground in three hours...
Anyway... the aftermath has been good... We feel both girls learned a hard lesson... many of the shop managers were happy to help, and grateful that there are still those who will do the right thing. Fostering has it's rewards as well as it's difficulties, and I admire those with the gumption and fortitude to do it.
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