Last night, I drove over the curb going into a Subway for a late dinner. It was late, dark and I was in new surroundings and that is my excuse. After I drove over and felt the first thump of the car over the curb, I began to hear voices.
Yes, the voices at first sounded like those of concern and a were a bit scared. They sounded something like, Mommy, are we okay? Did we do something wrong?
Then the voices started to change into a bit older sounding children and I heard, Mom. What are you doing? and then I distinctly heard, You didn't see that? What are you, blind?
I heard the last voices from my own personal "radio-from-the-past" when the back tires crossed over the curb and it was all over with. These were just snickers and snorts with a more adult-like older sound. I think I heard some eyes rolling too but you have to listen very carefully for that.
All the voices were familiar and were playing through my head because I was without any kids to provide the real thing. Luckily my subconscious helped me out and filled in the blanks. And I did all this in the eyes of the law.
Yes, I did and it was of more concern to me that I decided to do such a maneuver at a Subway with two (yes, TWO) police cars parked in front of it, and both officers of the law sitting there watching the whole thing. My friend told me to sit in the car for a while and see what they would do. I said, Naw. I am going in and hitting this head on. (She did laugh at my choice of words putting me in a good frame of mind to pull it off.) I went in and said boldy, So, how do you like my driving? Thankfully, they smiled and took the opportunity to look me over for signs of inebriation or dimentia.
Yes, they did see me and wondered if I had been drinking. I assured them that I had not and we giggled (outwardly and because the cops were there. Any other time I would have been giving them an eye roll and exasperated sigh because the clerk told us they were closed for business.)
We headed out, me still a little shaky about performing my curb jumping event in front of two cops, and don't you know I don't see the red light in front of the Subway until the last minute? I jerked to a stop and then, when the light was green, did a quick turn into the McDonalds on the other side of the street where I mistakenly headed into a handicapped spot (and I heard voices once again, Yeah - this spot is perfect for you from some sniveling little teenager in my head) and hoped the officers were still deeply engaged in their footlong and soda beverages. It wasn't until after the second bag of fries that I calmed down.
I do wonder how long I will continue to hear voices. Only time will tell. I sure as hell am not going to.
Mary Fagan has an M.S. in Education and is the mother of three children. She also has the grey hairs to prove it. When not watching them closely, Ms. Fagan offers humorous insights on parenting and motherhood at www.motherwise.us.
Welcome back, Mary! Your sense of humor has been greatly missed. You have the voice of your kids to reenact, the voices I hear are my own. I have learned with age to be kinder and more gentle. This is great. I laughed and applaud the way you handled it, head on! Respond to this comment
» left by Dianne Lehmann from Dewey, AZ (82 days 5 hours ago.)
Hi Mary.
I see by the date stamp on Avis' comment that I'm not the only one catching up on older articles. I'd made a note of yours to go back to when I had more time. I always love your articles and this one was a treat. At least you didn't completely run that red light! Oh, and I would probably have stayed in my car. You go girl!
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