The Human Condition: You Don't Know What You Don't Know by Yangki Christine Akiteng The Real People's Love Doctor

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	The Road Less Traveled The Human Condition: You Don't Know What You Don't Know
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	Submitted Tuesday, August 11, 2009
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Since the wheel of change started turning from living "manufactured" plastic lives to living authentic simple lives, words like "authentic self", "true self" or "my truth" are thrown around with so much ease that one wonders, what do people really mean when they say "authentic self" or "my truth"?

These examples may better explain what I mean:

1. Someone so afraid of any kind of change or disruption in routine

This person comes across as "chronically negative" because he or she always sees the glass half empty or only see what's likely to go wrong vs. what's likely to go right.

This person may have grown up in an unstable environment where "you just never knew" what will happen. He/she may also be someone who was raised by an absentee parent/s (because of divorce, adoption or just because the parents were kept busy working). Or he/she may simply be someone who's always "had" and never lacked or needed the material things of life. Or he/ she may be someone who always "never had" and now has. Either way, this person learned at a very early age to be always fearful or being helpless, lacking or needing. Any talk of change or disruption in routine brings those "old fears" back.

When he or she says "I fear x, and y will happen" even when evidence points otherwise, he/she is simply being authentic/living his/her truth. If we do not share his/her fears we do not share his/her version of truth, but it does not change the fact that is her/his truth at the time.

2. Someone who talks with an excessively raised loud voice or yells and screams for no apparent good reason

This person may be or not be aware of this sometimes "off-putting habit". If told to "tone it down" a little, he/she will say "This is just who I am" or "This is how I talk" or "This is how everyone in my family talks".

This person may have grown up in a home where everybody yelled and screamed at each other or where everyone simply talks with the "volume turned up a little too loud". The only way to get any attention was raise one's voice over everyone else or simply yell and scream, or call someone some name or "label" -- whether the name or label fits is not important. This is the only way they know how to "win" (a jab below the belt).

When this person says s/he's living his/her authentic self/true self, he or she is being authentic/truthful. We may not like that a person is excessively loud, yells and screams, or is insensitive to our own preferred "volume levels" but that does not change the fact that s/he is being truthful.

3. Someone who feels it's their responsibility to put others "right" when they "misbehave".

This person just can't help him or herself when he/she feels someone else misbehaved -- and it does not matter whether the person actually "misbehaved" or not. What matters to this person who feels the need to "put others in their righful place" is that they are living their truth.

This person may have been raised by a parent who went around telling others the "right way" and "wrong way" to be/act or been raised in "my way or no way" environment where freedom to be "your own self" was suppressed so early in life. People living "this truth" just have to say something or they won't feel that they are living "their truth". Some of these people actually believe that it's their "ability to put others into their place" that controls "world order". Not saying "something" is equivalent to "losing control" of the right and wrong debate. Once they lose control of the debate, the "whole world" will go into chaos -- just like it happened at home growing up.

These are just a few examples. All these people are living their "authentic self" or "living their truth" because that's all they know "who" and how to be in the world. If a person does not "experience" another parenting style, or has not experienced living outside "this truth" he/she grows up thinking that this is the ONLY WAY to gain respect/attention/be someone important/be heard/deal with the "competition" etc. It never occurs to them that there may be another way of "being in the world" because to them "another way" is beyond their realm of reality/reference/understanding/grasp.

The sad thing about all this is that people living "their truth" in this way actually think others who've experienced "other "parenting styles or experienced living outside of what they consider "their truth" don't know any better.

The really, really sad thing about all this is that because our reality is limited by our lived experience of "infinite knowledge", we all at one time or another live only parts of our authentic selves/our truth -- the parts that we know and are familiar!

The people who really "know the truth" and are living more of their truth are those who know that they don't know what they don't know. The truth is that you will never know "everything" and you don't have to. Just know the ONE who knows everything. That ONE who knows everything is in other people -- not in books. The more of "others" you know, the more parts of "the ONE" you know, and the closer you're to "THE WHOLE ONE TRUTH".

This is probably the closest to "THE TRUTH" we're allowed in this lifetime. Until that day you come face to face with "THE WHOLE ONE TRUTH", don't lie to yourself. You don't know what you don't know (and it shows in your way of being in the world). That's just how it is. The human condition.


	Internationally recognized Relationships Coach and author of three popular eBooks: Dating Your Ex, The Art of Seducing Out Of Fullness and Playing Hard To Get the Love Way, Yangki Christine Akiteng has devoted years of her life helping men and women create loving, authentic, exciting and fulfilling relationships. Having lived and worked in Africa, Europe and North America, Yangki brings a unique international perspective and multicultural understanding to her work. For more articles and information on the services she offers to singles and couples please visit: www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com Ask your questions, read answers and join discussions on HOT Topics at: www.askthelovedoctor.com. All are welcome!

►Reprint Rights◄

» left by paul schroeder from nyc (76 days 5 hours ago.)

People often need many lifetimes to refine their soul-personalities into non chafing,non-irritating easy going souls.Ones personal truth may be so very different ,that anyone claiming to know the one real truth,is simply clamoring for power.And that goes not just for individual people but for almost all religions ,governments and ideologies.Most truths are indeed like an onion,comprised of many different levels of shallow and deeper inherent truths.The Ego-self is multilayed,as well,where even obnoxious, seemingly shallow and rude people ,under hypnosis,can exhibit a hidden, deeper, below consciousness universal sense of truth and equitable nature,that is palatable to us and closer to God.Dont forget,even a sleeping baby,in a crib,has a fully developed soul,from other lifetimes.

» left by Avis Ward ^(11,769)
Avis Ward (74 days 19 hours ago.)

Christine, one of my brothers and I talk about this frequently. He and I agree how little we know with each passing day about the Truth which propels us into deeper study to learn. Each study reveals more of our ignorance and the quest is enjoyable. The journey to enlightenment is liberating and knowing it all is impossible and not the quest. Your examples are perfect to make your point. Because I hold to my core beliefs doesn't mean that I am correct. I have learned it is not about me at all, but you and everyone else. I trust the One to look after me and fill in the gap for all I do not know.

Have a great weekend, sissy.

Love,
Avis

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The Road Less Traveled

The Human Condition: You Don't Know What You Don't Know