Today, as in every kid's day, being popular is high up on the educational checklist. Whether you are popular and need to maintain the place you got for yourself or if you are trying to become part of the popular crowd, popularity is a focal point for most kids.
So let's talk about the idea of what being popular is. The dictionary definition has a few definitions but the ones that most fits the ideas of popularity in this instance are: " frequently encountered and widely accepted or commonly liked or approved of." These two definitions adequately describe the "popular" groups in school. But what makes these "popular groups" popular in the first place? And what is popularity and is it really sought after or just misunderstood.
Lots of people have seen movies where the popular kids are portrayed as mystical creatures on the right side of the lunch room. Like a unicorn becoming part of their group is magical and wanted beyond much else. But I am here to dispel some myths about the popular crowd..you ready?
First, have you noticed that the popular crowd has a hard time going anywhere alone? Like a giant magnet holds them all connected they travel in packs not as individuals. They are always with someone else and when alone seem small and a bit bewildered. So that should tell you that without the armor of their friends they aren't all that powerful.
Second, what is the attire of most of the individuals of the popular group? Is it more like a uniform than an outfit? Do the girls and the boys of the popular group seem to call each other up the night before to plan out their matching attire that they wear? This need to conform to the standard of dress shows that while they may be popular they are not very secure of themselves. Which leads me to my third point.
Third, many of the popular groups or clicks tend to be mean. Mean in the fact that if you are not part of their group they are nasty, tease you, can bully, and effectively make you feel even smaller than you might have felt before. Why do you think they do this? It is because this "popular" group is really a group of insecure and fearful individuals worried that someone will see into their heart and know who they really are. Because while there always are popular clicks these groups are more afraid of you then you are of them. Why?
Because you can break down the house they built of cards, which is their popularity. Let's face it, kids are tough. You guys have a lot of technical instruments at your disposal to uncover dirt and expose your classmates. Things like YouTube, My Space, and Facebook can be devastating if the wrong picture or video clip gets out. And anyone who has fallen prey to the insecurity of the popular group can know how vicious can be the counterattack if the scorned person chooses to do it. The popular group knows how quickly they can be kicked out of their group so they rule with an iron fist. They make sure you are more scared of them than they are of you. So there you go, the truth is out.
This idea of popular people is going to happen ALWAYS in your life. There will always be the person or people that everyone seems to like and want to be with. And you may feel that person is never you. But there are ways that you can make yourself more popular with others even if you never make it to the "popular click" that you see.
A) Being popular with others is as simple as being nice to them. Everyone wants to feel liked and cared for and if you go out of your way to be nice to everyone no matter what others will say then you will broaden your group of friends. Having friends from all walks of life can be very helpful in your life and also can bring amazing new aspects to your world that you never experienced before. For example, making friends with some of the music people might mean you learn more about music and might be introduced to some singers that become your favorites for life.
B) Be secure with who you are, just as you are. Know this..EVERYONE is insecure in the tween-teen years. Everyone can feel silly, stupid, bad dresser, and ugly. This is a day to day battle with self that you need to win. All those things you say to yourself that are not positive simply make you feel even worse about yourself so the fastest way to change that is to change the way to talk to yourself. Instead find the best things about yourself or the things that you can do that are strong and use those words to describe yourself. For example, if you are good at sports like soccer then say to yourself: I'm fast, I'm strong, I'm a team player, I'm good at taking directions, etc. These things that you say to yourself make you feel stronger and better about who you are and I know that by saying this to yourself you will then walk taller and surer. Amazingly when you walk taller you draw people to you.they want to know you.they want to be your friends.
C) Don't become obsessed with you. I mean that look around once in a while and don't always think that people are watching you and tearing you apart. Come out of your bubble of "you" and see that most people are more worried about themselves then they are about you. For example, if you trip walking across the lunch room don't hide in the bathroom for the rest of the year. No one probably noticed you and if they did and maybe let out a snigger you have one of two options 1) make a joke about it or 2) pat yourself on the back for being the relief of those individuals that other people trip just like them.
I want you to know and remember one thing for sure. This daily test of popularity ends once you move out of high school. As the world gets bigger that you travel in then the need for small clicks to dominate becomes unneeded. That should allow you to sigh with relief. But use the above techniques to create a way of living your life because if you do the steps above you will always have a broad and interesting group of friends to make your life happy and colorful!
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information presented herein intended to substitute for the advice provided to you by any health care or other professional
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