There is so much in the news today about kids being bullied. We see boys and girls reacting in very horrific ways like bringing guns to school and hurting those that have tortured them. We see your classmates cutting themselves and in some terrible situations killing themselves. This is something that everyone needs to be aware of. I am sure that most people have been bullied at some point in their life, I hope that the below can help you understand not only what causes someone to bully but how to react and protect yourself from bullying.
A bully is someone that uses aggression of any kind to make others intimidated or afraid of them. This can be done by physically hurting others. Or perhaps the bully uses words or teasing to keep someone in a constant state of fear. All these tools they use add up to one vital thing, the bully bullies because they are insecure or feeling small themselves.
This may seem incredible to believe that a bully is actually afraid and that is what causes them to bully. Most bullies are big, strong, and physically scary. But the thing you need to remember is that bullies aren't really strong inside. Inside themselves they feel small, scared and worried that others will really see who they are. Sometimes bullies have been hurt themselves and have a lot of anger inside them that they need to get rid of. And many times bullies have home lives that are not happy and they are in great need of attention and any attention will do, even bad. Seeing what bullies are made of will make it easier for you to understand how to handle a bully.
I know that most people feel that violence of any kind is not appropriate. I absolutely believe that as well. And that means that violence being done to you is not acceptable either. If someone, ANYONE is hurting you then you need to get help. Keeping quiet while someone hurts you is not the answer to any problem. You need to find someone you trust and tell them that someone is hurting you. It may not be an easy thing to do and you may be embarrassed or scared that someone will find out, but the other side of that is to continue to be hurt. Getting help is far smarter, so be smart.
Now, if you can understand that a bully is really scared inside then you can understand how to stand up to a bully. A bully uses fear to make people do what they want. But if someone isn't afraid, then bullies lose their power, don't they? So how do you get a bully off your back? Simple, stand up to them.
You might be staring at the screen with your mouth open right now..stand up to the bully..are you crazy Lorena? How do I stand up to them? Well, that is what you have to figure out. If someone is hurting you we've already covered that, you get a grown up, teacher, older kid and tell them you are being hurt. This authority figure will help you if the bullying is in the form of aggression such as hitting, tripping, etc. Get help before you confront a physical bully.
If the bully is saying rude things, talking about you behind your back, etc then this is simple action. The way you combat that type of bully is to walk straight up to them and tell them with strength that they will stop talking about you. That you know who they are and you will not longer TOLERATE their bullying you. You will tell them that you are giving them this chance to stop on their own and if they don't then you will be going to the principal, teacher, or parents to get them to stop. Give them the opportunity to do it themselves, if they don't then make sure you follow through on your statements.
If you understand that the bully is actually afraid of you, then you change the balance of power. You take away the fear, which is not helping you but hindering you, and you put strength in its place. You tell the bully that they are not allowed to bully you. That you are stronger than that and that you WILL make sure they stop in whatever manner you need to.
This lesson in bullying is something you will need to learn for your life. To be able to stand up for yourself is important to make sure that people don't take advantage of you throughout your life. But be sensitive and don't use your strength to bully others, remember always what it feels like to be bullied and always put yourself in someone else's shoes when you are talking to them.
Remember that bullies can be a serious problem and evaluate smartly how to handle the bully in your life or your friend's life. If you believe that the person is violent then you ABSOLUTELY must get help. If you can see the fear that drives your particular bully, then shore yourself up, walk tall, speak plainly and take the bully out of your life yourself.
Disclaimer: All information on this site is provided for informational purposes only! By no means is any
information presented herein intended to substitute for the advice provided to you by any health care or other professional
or organization.
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