Conflict at home or work often becomes heated and unproductive because of our natural tendency as human beings to compete, give in, or withdraw.
For those with a need to always be right and compete to win, conflict is rarely settled peacefully or without irreparable damage to their reputation or the relationship. For those who are quick to please or accommodate, giving in when in conflict reflects their way of life with no ambitions or expectations. And for those who would rather avoid conflict altogether, withdrawal is common when conflict arises due to their lack of confidence or unwillingness to communicate.
It is difficult to overcome these natural tendencies of competing, giving in, or withdrawing from conflict. It requires an attitude adjustment that allows you to accept, appreciate, and acknowledge the differences in others. When you truly value differences and can build on others’ strengths to compensate for your weaknesses, then you can effectively use the techniques of cooperation, collaboration, and compromising to settle conflict.
Cooperate
Cooperating requires helping others, not competing against them. Cooperation presumes there is no right or wrong, no better or worse. Part of cooperation is to help the other person understand what you want, and in turn, learning what the other person needs. Cooperating is an educational first step that lays the foundation for the next step, collaborating.
Collaborate
Collaborating requires working together to develop options and alternatives for reaching an agreement. Flexibility and creativity are essential for collaboration. Teaming up to discover possible solutions helps to set the stage for the next step, compromising.
Compromise
Compromising requires finding common ground based on the pool of possible solutions to the conflict. The desired outcome is a mutually beneficial, mutually satisfying resolution. There should not be any one-way concessions each person should equitably give and take. If a solution that benefits both people cannot be found, then there should at least be agreement to disagree.
Rather than compete, give in, or withdraw, with the proper frame of mind that respects others’ differences, the best way to resolve conflict is to cooperate, collaborate, and compromise.
Coach Deb provides personal, professional and life coaching services to provide challenge, inspiration, focus, support and accountability to help people handle conflict, and she can be reached via e-mail at coachdeb@adelphia.net .
Disclaimer: All information on this site is provided for informational purposes only! By no means is any
information presented herein intended to substitute for the advice provided to you by any health care or other professional
or organization.
