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I recently asked a friend of mine what men want in a relationship and she point blank told me, "That's the easiest question ever," she said. "Men just want sex!"
While her response was obvious, my response to her was not.
In studying and writing about relationships, sexuality and marriage for years, my husband and I have distilled the whole ‘love and relationship' game to some basic communication fundamentals.
Would you be surprised if I told you sex isn't even in the top 5 things men really want from their partner? Sure, they are visual and seem quite myopic in their hunger for sex. But, sex and the pleasure it provides isn't the final emotional feeling that men want from their girlfriends and wives, in the end, it's five other often overlooked and under-appreciated things that men crave, desire, want, and need to make their relationship the envy of their peers. Each of these five things can *lead* to great sex, but none require it. Curious? Read on...
Women, when your man feels at his best, he will seek out every opportunity to spend more time with you and to satisfy your needs. So, it's in your best interest to give him what he wants (and it's easier than you would ever believe), so you'll get more of what you want. See how it works?
1. Men Want To Be Adored
In every man, there is a little boy (Remember what a baby he is when he is sick?). A man's ego is fragile. Before the industrial revolution, the man with the most amount of wealth (we'll leave out the "big harem" example) was the strongest warrior and/or the most successful hunter. Ever since he's traded in his spear for a pda, men have defined their masculinity through sports and/or financial success. The more you give him SPECIFIC accolades about his success, the clearer your message of love and respect will be towards him. Tell him why you love him so much, often and clearly. Let him know that he is important to you. Just as you may be his Princess, your man wants to know he's your Prince.
2. Men Want To Be Consulted
There is no need to pretend you're stupid, but when you find something your man is knowledgeable or passionate about, let him take the stage. When you show a sincere interest in his knowledge base, the more you subtly stroke his ego. Again, don't be sarcastic or placating. The more you take a sincere interest in his work and hobbies, the stronger your connection will become. Ask his opinion and let him feel he's an active part of your decisions and choices.
3. Men Want To Be Trusted
Many of us have been hurt or lied to, but if your man isn't the one who hurt you, trust him. After we are hurt, we tend to keep our guard up. "Guilty until proven innocent" is a popular attitude after one is hurt. Trust must be earned after a person has lied, of course. But "innocent until proven guilty" can go a long way to building more of a connection that can lead to a two-way street of trust. Go out of your way to give him no reason to doubt you and your own trustworthiness. Let him know you feel safe and secure with him.
4. Men Want To Feel Sexy
Of course it is time to stroke his…uhmm….ego, but men like to feel sexy, handsome or fit just as much as women do. You will get SO much mileage out of a few "Do you know how sexy you are to me?" or "You look hot in that!" comments. Keep the compliments sincere and specific. Don't praise his beer gut and say, "More to love!" Like you, he knows what areas he has to work on. However, the more you point out his strong points, the more he will work on correcting his weaknesses as well. Additionally, he will start appreciating and complimenting you more too!
5. Men Want You To Be Their Friend
Many men don't have the traditional social outlets that women do to discuss their emotions, dreams, and fears. By being his friend first, without judging, you allow him to open up. Interestingly, men RARELY open up to other men. They are taught at an early age NOT to shed a tear which results in them not sharing their feelings in general. Coincidentally, most affairs are born from this. A man may have a difficult time sharing his deep troubles with his wife, but can with his secretary. OOPS! Be sure you set up a "safe zone" of conversation which allows him to be vulnerable and open. Letting him know that this "safe zone" (Both verbally and geographically) in NO WAY diminishes your opinion of his manliness in all other areas.
The love of a woman can make or break a man. The woman who criticizes her man creates what she despises. The woman who encourages her man and gives him what he truly wants creates what she inspires. Give your man what he wants and your life, your relationship, and your love will get better with every passing day. You will experience more loving, more caressing and more attention from your man than you ever imagined possible!
Regardless if you are a man or a woman, you owe it to yourself to read our book at www.makeyourwifehot.com. You may be living with the love of your life already! Don't trade your responsibilities for your passion...You can have BOTH!
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