One occurrence is inevitable- our death. The unknown is when? Regrettably, some never have the chance to bid a meaningful adieu to their loved ones. For many, the what if scenario or the topic of death is never discussed. And, in some cultures it is not even acceptable to talk about death, as you may bring it about sooner or show lack of hope for a person who may be dying.
When she was twenty-one, Gemini Adams, author of Your Legacy of Love: Realize the Gift in Goodbye lost her mother to cancer. As Adams informs us, her mother unfortunately did not leave her and her younger brother something which she calls the legacy of love. She goes onto explain, and based on her own personal experiences, that by leaving this legacy of love, it would have minimized her suffering. As she states, I'm sure it would have helped me to achieve a far speedier and healthier recovery from my grief.
What is this legacy of love that Adams writes about? We know about the material and financial legacies we inherit, however, do we know anything about our Emotional Assets that we can bequeath to our loved ones? To confirm that she was not alone in considering the importance of Emotional Assets, Adams conducted a very informal survey, wherein participants were asked if they would prefer inheriting from their parents their wealth or a letter saying how much they loved them? She discovered that over ninety percent of the respondents expressed a wish to have some words preserved on paper.
Bringing together her own personal insights, experiences, interviews with survivors, and research, Adams provides her readers with a road map as to how to create a legacy of love or a parting gift that will keep your survivors connected to you. Divided into three parts, the book explains in crisp and clear language how to identify, record, and bequeath to your loved ones your Emotional Assets.
Explored are such topics as how will your survivors really know you loved them, who will share your history with them, who will support and comfort them in time of need, how can their memories of you stay strong, who will aid them in making good life choices and who will be the one to motivate them when things get tough. In addition, the book covers a multitude of options and tools as to how to go about leaving meaningful Emotional Assets. For example, we learn about how to prepare a parenting proxy, why it is important to leave future surprises for loved ones, leaving a memoir of your life and how to go about writing one, and leaving music as your legacy.
Within each topic, the material is invaluable and well organized, providing readers with an easy to use, clearly laid out, and well written guide concerning a topic that some may consider distressing. However, one of the striking features of this book is that Adams does a first-rate job in making the topic of death more palatable. Moreover, she effectively pares things down to their bare essentials while at the same time provoking us to think about our lives and what kind of a personal legacy we wish to leave our survivors. Your Legacy of Love: Realize the Gift in Goodbye also serves as a wake-up call for all of us to do something today, tomorrow may never come-something my father, who was a family physician, always drummed into me.
As an added plus, the concluding pages of the book include a helpful short list of films about the D-Word, films to inspire future surprises, films about grief. In addition, there are recommended readings covering many of the topics dealt with in the book including a bibliography and an extensive index.
Just in passing, perhaps if I had read this book while I was practicing law specializing in will preparation and estate planning, I would have encouraged more of my clients to think about leaving a legacy of love. Although, I have to admit that I did have quite a few clients who did in fact leave a memorandum attached to their wills concerning the distribution of certain personal effects as well as messages of love.
Gemini Adams is a British Grief Expert, who conducts workshops on love and loss in her birthplace, the United Kingdom, and in America, where she presently lives. She also coaches families and organizations who need assistance in preparing for loss. Adams is a member of the National Federation of Spiritual Healers and was awarded the prestigious Winston Churchill Award for her achievements.
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