Even though I often see myself as a vision of hope and light, there are times when I have to wonder if the rest of the world has similar dumb-arse attacks like me. I also find it possible and most likely many of us consume occasional glasses of red wine for health purposes or just because we want to indulge in the aged spirit of grapes.
At the benefit of having 40 laughs a day for several days and more, I had a horrific attack and also suffered embarrassment to the Nth degree.
It all began on a hot August afternoon at a friends country home where I was invited to dine ~ part of the charm of the day was pitching in to bring our favorite dishes to share with one another. We were quite excited at the plan to indulge our taste buds.
Secretly I thanked my lucky stars there was finally an occasion to toss that special piece of roast to the lower level of the refrigerator for defrosting before the freezer took serious hold of it ~ the super cut of meat from the London area of the cow turned out to be more scrumptious than we could imagine despite the warnings about red meat.
When I got to Ricardo's house, he put me in charge of pouring the raspberry tea and wine along with designing the crescent rolls which would serve as a rendezvous with fresh butter and country jam. I must say I was very much at home with the Australian Shiraz wine while laboriously perfecting the artistry of folding the crescent rolls for baking in the oven.
Then, my friend added as a spectacular chef's accompaniment, mashed potatoes dazzled with heavy cream and fresh green beans swimming in a pound of bacon. Both sides were fattened from almost non-caloric dishes to ones that would most certainly clog the arteries and cause our hearts to beat with a spirited rhythm.
I just never realized that such divine embellishments would be added to the dishes, so I had recklessly purchased a turtle pie dessert from the freezer department of famous foods known to be exquisitely better than sex. Actually, the whole meal was quite climatic.
Then the final course was one of hilarity and at my expense ~ we embarked upon a walk to work off some of the sinful food/drink and ended up eventually at a neighbor's garden. I was introduced to Roberto once again who appeared to be passionately guarding the fenced-in area with his body and soul.
It was a marvelous garden ~ I commented on an orange budding flower and Roberto excitingly took me to a fully-developed specimen of that bud which was a green squash.duh, green, not golden!!
Now precisely at this moment and out of nowhere, I heard voices calling me to pick it. I can only defend my dumb-arse attack by the mere fact that my arteries were clogging and the red wine was intermittently clearing the process causing a huge turmoil in the function of my body and brain.
Yep, I about fell off the four-inch, Sketcher Sandals to bend down and pick that baby squash and hand it to Roberto who was a saddened and shocked parent.
I was hoping for a recovery from the embarrassment by having him tell me to take it home and give it lots of love and sunlight, but his facial expression never recovered from the shock of my picking his precious squash.
I sheepishly placed it back on the ground to ripen off the vine and then burst out in laughter to the point that there would be no recovery on my part either.
Ricardo and I continued walking on the lumpy ground together and thought it likely that I would end up losing my balance and roll around in the grass convulsing with laughter. We laughed for days and are still laughing at my stupidity. We have shared the story over and over and people go into stitches.
I confess that I still cringed a little while writing this, but the special dumb incident was worth every ounce of embarrassment. I hope you enjoyed the imperfection that made a perfect day and has continued to lighten our hearts for many days and will for days to come and I ask, "Squash anyone?" We can only hope for more times together in a field of silly activity and ripened vineyard moments.
"Some people hear voices ~ some see invisible people ~ others have no imagination whatsoever ~ eat, drink and be merry ~ do stupid things faster with more energy J " Uli
Thanks, Jean, for stopping by to comment ~ I actually wasn't planning on writing an article about the crazy day, but the ideas kept flowing like when becoming inspired to write a poem ~ finally got up in the middle of the night and wrote it ~ it may be the first chapter in my friend's book. I will never live it down, but then I guess funny/dumb attacks are what keeps life interesting. Suzy
I have had similar moments, of course- article fodder for another time- but I very much enjoyed your story. I even learned something, that a cow has a "London" area.
LoL, Ken, so you learned something new ~ I figured that if they give poets license to coin new words that writers have a license to make up new areas of the cow ~ actually, it was a London Broil and thought since I was classing up a word by making it British (I believe "arse"), it would work. Thanks for commenting and hope you have a great holiday! Suzy
I am holding my sides, laughing. I can picture this happening as we live waaaay out in the country and one Sunday our daughter and son-in-law came for dinner. Our daughter "went for a walk" and ended up in The Frontiersman's garden. She brought in several cucumbers, a few tomatoes and a couple yellow squash that if they had been left to grow to normal size, would have been great. She thought they were 'cute', so she picked them. We still laugh about that one.
Thanks for stopping by to comment, Shari, and to share another funny story ~ it's hard to tell what comes over us at these particular awkward moments ~ I was very thankful I didn't wet my pants when I got to laughing so hard ~ I caught that from my mom. Yes, there is nothing like vine-ripened fruit and veggies and I am going to remember that except for green tomatoes which are excellent fried. Suzy
» left by Richard from MW-USA (70 days 20 hours ago.)
Suzy: being the one that possibly could be the character, Ricardo, and living this day with you, I could not have expressed this any better. This is absolutely a wonderful article about an absolutely delightful day. Thanks for the memories!
Thank you for responding to this article and I agree, it was quite the day. I also will always remember the shock on your face after I picked that squash ~ never have seen you with a loss for words LoL!! Yes, such great memories and praise God for special friends to create ones that are so unforgettable. Blessings! Suzy
Hi Suzy, a delightful and hiliarious tale indeed. I can relate to the embarrassment as you will discover in my next article that i hope to post later today or tomorrow. Glad to know I am not the only one found in these situations! Julian
Thanks, Julian, for the great comment and glad to hear you will be writing an article about an embarrassing moment ~ crazy but fun situations to share later. Thanks for joining my fan club. Suzy
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