I have had this article brewing for weeks and planned to rant and rave about how wasps are the most useless things/creatures on this crazy planet of ours. I mean, what purpose do they actually serve? Well, in my attempt to at least appear a responsible writer I did a little research and actually discovered that they are indeed very important in the scheme of things.
As I read the information and realised that the wasp is actually crucial in controlling the populations of pest insects (it preys on them), did I begin to find a new found respect for this yellow and black buzzer? Did my eyes well up as I considered the article I was about to write about them and which now seemed to be in tatters?
No! I remain convinced they are pure evil! Just take a look at the taxonomic name for the common wasp. It's Vespula Vulgaris! Doesn't that just scream, "Child of the devil"? Either that or it's a really cool name for a James Bond villain!
These insects of distress spend our summer and early autumn months harassing, annoying and generally behaving in an aggressive and vindictive manner toward anything that moves. There really should be an accompanying "Jaws" soundtrack as they hover in front of our faces, undeterred by the frantic swatting and manic tribal war dance we suddenly adopt in our defence.
I am surprised the military have yet to harness their power as a weapon of war because their ability to strike fear into a population is nothing short of incredible! On a bus a little while ago, and outnumbered by about forty to one, the little wasp that was travelling without a ticket managed to have all the passengers scrambling from one end of the bus to the other for the duration of the journey.
These are tough little critters too! On holiday recently in Greece , a wasp decided to pester me and my wife while we were dining alfresco. After circling, in RAF Spitfire fashion, for a few minutes and cleverly avoiding our wild swishes it came in for the kill and landed right in my wife's as yet untouched dessert, which happened to be some kind of sticky pudding.
The wasp seemed to be in paradise until it waded into the chocolate sauce a little too deeply. Its wings seemed heavy and broken and it looked as though it had flown its last and was doomed. My wife in particular felt very sorry for the limping, bedraggled insect and was about to come to its rescue and help it out of the pudding when it suddenly took off again, stared at us angrily and flew off to fight another day. I thought I could almost hear it humming the "Rocky" theme tune as it vanished into the sunset.
I could go on and on about wasp encounters, just as I am sure you all have your own tales of battle with these beasts and as much as I adore summer, I will be grateful for the arrival of winter's chill, for peace to be restored once more and another season of waspy turmoil behind us.
Currently studying freelance journalism, Julian is a creative writer and poet and writes both professionally and for pleasure. Professionally, Julian writes articles for an internet marketing company and although he is often restricted by topic, his writing still maintains his own unique style. He has written a series of heartfelt and impartial articles about the success and controversy surrounding the electronic cigarette. He has found the discipline involved with this work to be a great writing exercise and believes it enhances and improves the rest of his writing. Julian's articles at Searchwarp are of a much more personal nature, where he feels he can express his views and interests in the world around him.
As much as I am not a fan of the little buzzing menaces, I should have added at the bottom of the article, "No wasps were actually harmed during the compilation of this article" Having said that, i think the one on the bus was "missing in action" shall we say! Thanks for reading and giggling. Julian
» left by kenny from Fall River, Mass (28 days 9 hours ago.)
Hi Julian. You have a great gift my friend. You describes things so well it made me feel as though I was experiencing them as I read.
I know that's the goal of all writers, but how many of us actually achieve that necessary quality. Because I lack your talent I'm more apt to stay with the slap-stick sort of humor writing.
I really enjoyed reading your story, and I agree with your military question. Can you imagine man-made wasp the size of helicopters dodging gracefully everything that comes it's way within a split second, and then in one swoon it hits its mobile target fiercely - as though it were standing still? The sight of that, not to mention the sound, would surely scare the crap out of me!
Hi Kenny, Thank you very much for reading, enjoying and commenting! Your kind words are greatly appreciated. I think you took my military question about the wasps to the next level, perhaps there is a hollywood movie in there somewhere, giant, state of the art, wasp machines! Love it! Thanks again, Julian
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