I always wondered when I saw car wrecks, what those last moments were like before the crash. What were the people feeling; did they see it coming, were they screaming, were they praying? What happens in those last seconds before you hit?
Now I know.
It was a beautiful winter day, Christmas Eve to be exact. We had celebrated our family Christmas earlier that morning. We opened gifts (which Santa graciously brought a day early) and enjoyed a big family breakfast. Then we packed the van full of gifts, the dog cage and luggage, threw on our Santa hats and piled into the van for the two-hour drive to my parents. It had been a tradition for years to celebrate Christmas Eve with them.
The sun was shining and it was clear. A day earlier it had snowed, and now the roads shimmered as we made our way along the two-lane highway.
My husband was driving, my daughter sat behind him holding the new stuffed dog she had opened earlier that morning. I was in the passenger seat, my son behind me, playing a video game. Our dog, Casey, lay contently in her cage in the back. She loved road-trips! We were all singing along, as Christmas carols played on the radio.
It happened suddenly.
We saw a car coming in the other lane and we saw the moment he lost control. He started to fishtail down the road. He crossed the centre-line. He was coming straight for us!
My husband yelled, " Hold on!" He steered to the right to avoid hitting oncoming traffic. But the car speeding towards us was moving out of control in the same direction. There was no-where for us to go!
My heart was pounding.
"Oh my God, oh my God!" "This is it," I thought.
There was no screaming, there was no crying. I think we were all holding our breath.
And then we hit. Head on.
Silence
After everything came to a stop, the first thing I saw was the driver of the other car. He was slumped over the steering wheel. I thought he might be dead.
We sat stunned for a moment. My husband asked if everyone was OK. The windshield was shattered and the front of the van had been pushed in to our knees, but neither my husband nor I had a mark on us. I assumed because the children were sitting behind us, they were OK too.
I made a move to get out of the van. My first instinct was to go to the other driver but suddenly my daughter let out a scream. I turned to see her face covered in blood. Her nose was a mess it was bleeding profusely. She had scrapes and cuts under her eye.
Her face had hit the back of the drivers seat. She was holding one hand up to her face, the other still clutching her stuffed animal, now splattered with blood. I grabbed the first thing I could find and made my way to the other side of the van. It hurt to move, it was difficult to breathe. I opened the door, tipped her head back and had her hold a scarf to her nose. Once she was calmed down I went to my son who was staring wide-eyed at his sister.
He had nothing but a scratch on his cheek, but was shaken. By this time my husband had hobbled over to the other driver, who was now out of the car and on his feet.
Thank God, we were all alive.
A couple of cars stopped and someone called an ambulance. We could hear sirens in the distance. People were watching from the other side of the road, but no one came to us.
Suddenly I felt faint. With each breath I took, I felt sharp pains in my chest. I grabbed a handful of snow and held it to my forehead. I could hear the ambulance getting closer but I didn't think I was going to make it. I was going down.
I told the kids not to panic if I passed out. I explained I was just going to faint, nothing more. I sat down in the snow and held on. Within minutes police and ambulance attendants were there. They placed my daughter and I side-by-side on stretchers in the ambulance while my son sat next to us playing his game.
Except for his knees, which were hurt when the dashboard and steering column hit his legs, my husband was OK. He stayed with the police and would meet us at the hospital to get checked out later.
The ambulance sped away, siren roaring. I told the attendant we didn't need to rush. I was terrified we would have another accident traveling at that speed.
My daughter was in pain. The attendant was very caring and helped her to relax. I reached up to rub my eye and saw sparkles on my hand. Then I remembered.
Earlier that morning my daughter had opened face glitter from Santa. She insisted I try some, placing it on my cheekbones and below my eyebrows. A smile came to my face envisioning how funny I must look, a grown woman wearing a Santa hat with glitter all over her face. I explained the glitter to the attendant and we all started to laugh. It lightened the mood and even my daughter was able to forget about her face for a brief time. When I laughed I was in excruciating pain. The seatbelt had done its job but my ribs had taken a beating.
When we arrived at the hospital they wheeled us through emergency directly to a doctor.
We were all examined and released after numerous tests. My daughter's nose was broken and her cheek was cut and bruised. Her eye was swollen and a deep purple ring appeared underneath it now, she looked like she'd been severely beaten.
As for me, X-rays indicated some cracked ribs. A bone-scan the following week would show almost all of my ribs were cracked. It would be a slow and painful healing process and would result in my developing pneumonia, but that's a whole other story.
My husband picked us up at the hospital in a rental van and after he was examined, we drove home. News had spread and a neighbour came over with gifts for the kids, and said we should spend Christmas with them. We thanked her but said we hadn't decided what we were going to do.
By now it was mid-afternoon and I asked, "Who wants to go to Grandma's and Grandpa's for Christmas?"
"Not me," my daughter quickly answered.
"Well then, I think we should go," I replied. She was our unstoppable child. It was unlike her to not want to go for it. I thought she needed to get back in the van, if she didn't the fear of driving might set in, for all of us.
After a short discussion the decision was made. We were going! We drove to the wrecking yard where they had towed our vehicle. It was totaled. Sadly, Casey was still in the van. They had attempted to get her out, but the back seat had bent and was wrapped around a portion of the cage. The tow truck driver had received another call and had to go. Seeing Casey was unhurt, and knowing arrangements were made to get her, he left. My husband worked at the cage until finally Casey was free. She ran around the yard then hopped up into the back of the rental like nothing had ever happened.
With my daughter looking like she'd gone a few rounds with Mike Tyson, and me hugging a pillow to my chest, we started out on the two-hour drive again, this time taking a different route.
I was wondering what was going through every ones minds when my son piped up.
"Like what are the chances of that happening again?" he asked innocently.
My husband and I looked at each other and smiled, a weak, tired smile. Finally the tears I'd been holding off all day, welled up in my eyes. He and I hadn't spoken much the entire day, but we knew what the other was thinking. We were lucky to be alive. It could have gone so bad.
We arrived at my parents safely, though somewhat late. Family photos are a reminder of a Christmas we'd never forget. My husband spent three hours in emergency with me the following morning as I awakened to a lump in my stomach, the result of trauma to my bladder. It was just the beginning of complications that followed.
I always wondered what happened in those seconds before a crash, and now I know. I also know what happens in the seconds after the crash. It's not something you easily forget.
Now when we're driving and pass a cross or a bouquet of flowers marking a spot along a highway, we are reminded of just how lucky we were that Christmas Eve. We thank God and say a prayer for those people and their families, who weren't so lucky.
Brianna Popsickle, Letters From A Suburban Prison
Observations and reflections on life, and the people around her; written as a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, neighbour, co-worker, or whatever else anyone needs her to be.
Artist. Writer. Woman. - Struggling to re-appear after years of confinement in a suburban prison.
» left by kenny from Fall River, Mass (43 days 13 hours ago.)
*** Extremely well written Brianna, and now I have questions based on the quote I copy & pasted below.
"Now when we're driving and pass a cross or a bouquet of flowers marking a spot along a highway, we are reminded of just how lucky we were that Christmas Eve. We thank God and say a prayer for those people and their families, who weren't so lucky."
*** You say you were lucky, and then you gave thanks to God. Are you saying God rolled the dice and he rolled a winner for you and your family?...Would that suggest that the families who's crosses you see along the road were not so lucky because when God rolled the dice for them he "crapped out?" Also, if God rolled the dice for those unfortunate souls and the roll came up a loser, why would you thank God and pray for those people when God failed them.
Also, isn't it a bit selfish to presume God saved your family when he wasn't there for others?...What do you and your family possess that gives you rights to Gods favor over other families...What have you and your family done differently to deserve such a fate?...Putting luck and God in the same sentence sounds odd to me...I can almost hear those who weren't so fortunate crying back to you, "Keep your prayers. God ain't here! And if he was and cared, we wouldn't be here!".........Kenny
I think you know exactly what I meant when I said "and we say a prayer for those who weren't so lucky'. I think it's obvious we don't share the same views on God, and that's fine, we don't have to.
Do I think God rolls a dice, or that my family deserves better outcomes? Of course not, and I think you already knew that Kenny. Believing in God, or praying to God doesn't guarantee a smooth road, or a life without tragedy. I have lost loved ones and suffered at times, along the way. And in those times of suffering I would welcome and be thankful for anyone offering a prayer for me or my loved one.
I appreciate your reading and commenting Kenny, although it may seem we have a slightly different way of looking at things. But that's what makes life and people interesting isn't it? I hope you keep reading.
» left by kenny from Fall River, Mass (43 days 4 hours ago.)
"I appreciate your reading and commenting Kenny, although it may seem we have a slightly different way of looking at things. But that's what makes life and people interesting isn't it? I hope you keep reading."
*** I will keep on reading and commenting Brianna...And trust me, I think you are a nice person like most people looking for something bigger and better, but don't think or imagine me as a thorn in the side...Instead, think of me as a man who grew up Catholic, read the Bible till all hours of the night for years, went to church, etc., but in the end I found God, Christ, and the Bible to be nothing more than beliefs, false hopes, and subjects for good story-telling...Think of me as a man who wishes to know and uses the method of someone like Socrates, where Who, What, When, Where, How, and Why? are the basis of getting to the route of understanding our real human motives for why we act and think like we do....I allow you and others on here to help me develop into a better man...If you and others really have the power of God within you - this should be an easy task.
Yes, we do have a slightly different way of looking at things, but it's NOT just what makes life and people interesting, it's the very essence of how the world is designed...Everything has it's opposite, and to discard one half without the other - would make life itself impossible.
Most Christians will admit to having said many times before how they feel "everything happens for a reason." If this is so, I HAPPENED UPON THIS SITE FOR A REASON...I am your checks and balances...You need me...You need my questions!...Ignorance is bliss as they say, and I know that Brianna and many others here would rather be challenged than to be unchallenged and remain in the dark...Although there will be many others I will make uncomfortable, and that's TOUGH!...Like they say, "If you can't handle the tomatoes being thrown at you - then you shouldn't be up on stage." Kenny
» left by kenny from Fall River, Mass (43 days 4 hours ago.)
"I think it's obvious we don't share the same views on God."
*** One very important thing I forgot to elaborate on... When looking at the above quote let me just say this: I HAVEN'T ANY VIEWS ON GOD...A person can not have a view on something that doesn't exist...
It would be like asking a psychologist to have an opinion on the voices and visions a schizophrenic is hearing and seeing...He can't because he or she doesn't see or hear them for themselves - they simply don't exist. However, the psychologist can have a view on the condition and mental health of the patient and ask questions for a better understanding of their condition for the betterment of all involved...Kenny
Hi Brianna, I too know of those moments before a crash. Didn't turn out anywhere near as severe as yours but you dont know that before it happens do you? That slow motion sensation, I felt as though I could have commentated on the event it seemed to happen so slow! Riveting article Julian :)
You're right about the slow motion, before and after, very surreal. Thanks for reading and commenting Julian. I'm glad you came through your accident OK.
you are the glitter sparkles on the face of this whole site;you had a brush with the eternal,just one of the several "exit" points that we place in our blueprints,in spirit form,before we come into the body,so we can abruptly return,if we choose to, if we dont like our life and the way things are. You thankfully,(unconsciously,secretly) chose not to exercise that"exit point" all together,as a family.That blueprint is actually what a true psychic "reads",when we are given a life reading.Do stick around and keep writing;your goodness illuminates brightly through your writings,to us all,here and makes us all sigh; if only we had a life and temperment and attitude like Brianna;sigh;Paul Schroeder
Brianna - thanks for this wonderfully written piece - you drew the reader in - it is a grabber, for sure.
Looks like it is striking many chords in others too. I, for one, am happy to be an atheist no more, the God of the Bible I have met is very real and I will have no regrets when time ends and eternity begins....
There are many things in the Bible which cannot be explained if it was written by mere men. And you are correct in your response to Kenny, we obviously don't all have to agree. Thanks for sharing your heart in this piece. HE paid the ultimate sacrifice and it is up to each individual what they do with that gift. Marijo
I too know the moments. Excellent article. I have also been through the ribs and complications to follow and they're not fun. I actually however broke my ribs on my tub. Another story later. I am glad that the Lord protected you and all involved.
Nice to know I'm not a wimp. :) After the experience, I said I'd rather deliver another baby than go through the cracked ribs and pneumonia again. Thanks for commenting Michelle!
People would be amazed to hear what happened next, not to do with the accident, but someone special we were about to meet on Christmas Day. It may be another story someday. ;) Thanks for reading and commenting Nancy.
I've always thought that if I were in an accident that I would totally panic. But it sounds like you don't even have time for that. Very scary but well crafted article. And like the others, I would like to hear about the aftermath as well. I think completing your plans was an excellent decision, even if it added to the difficulty of your recovery. Is that a bad thing to write?
» left by Brianna Popsickle (41 days 21 hours ago.)
I'm sure everyone's experience is different, but in our case there was no time to panic. I think we made the right decision to go home for Christmas as well. It's just not Christmas unless we see the grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins, and we probably needed to see them more that year, than any year before! Thanks for reading Dianne and for commenting.
» left by Dr Clarence Rucker, Jr from MI (35 days 23 hours ago.)
I am glad that is over. It appeared to me as happening all over again. One thing for sure, nothing beats experience with a bout between life and death. This is a good article. Thanks for sharing Brianna. Please, you and your family be blessed even more.
Disclaimer: All information on this site is provided for informational purposes only! By no means is any
information presented herein intended to substitute for the advice provided to you by any health care or other professional
or organization.
tweet this!
