Climbing The Ladder of Success and the Pains of Becoming "Somebody" by Yangki Christine Akiteng The Real People's Love Doctor

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	Climbing The Ladder of Success and the Pains of Becoming "Somebody"
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	Submitted Tuesday, September 29, 2009
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We each have our own definition of what success is. Success to me is not my station in life but how many lives I've helped make better (even just a little bit).

Over the years however, I've found that sometimes your station in life determines how many lives you can make better. You can do so much as an individual, but for greater impact you need a little help from others. To get that help, you must be "somebody" otherwise nobody will take you seriously. Sad but true.

Trying to climb the "Becoming Somebody" ladder, I've encountered all kinds of people:

1. Those who'll try to talk or shout you off the ladder

They tell you can't do it -- it's impossible, you should just accept things as they are or you're wasting your time. They'll find every reason as to why you can't do it -- you don't talk right, don't write well, don't look right, don't know much, don't this and don't that. They are the same people who'll praise someone else not because they think that person is better than you but because they think it'll discourage you from trying to make "somebody" of yourself.

Remember they are at the bottom of the ladder and misery loves company. That's one more reason to keep climbing.

2. Those who'll try to pull you down by the legs

These are often people trying to make it to the top themselves but making very little progress. They're paralyzed by the fear that someone else might actually be making it. Sometimes they try to be your friend to win you over but when that fails they become your worst critics and beat-downs. Instead of standing FOR who they are and what they represent, their mission becomes standing AGAINST who you are and what you represent. Their only "creativity" is coming up with counter arguments and reasons why what you think, what you do or your way is wrong. They seem to have all the "right" answers and you wonder why if they know so much they aren't at the top already.

Remember they are at the bottom of the ladder, so you must be making real progress otherwise they wouldn't be trying to pull you down. That's one more reason to keep climbing.

3. Those who'll step on you to get to the top

These are people who see you making progress but instead of trying to talk/shout you off the ladder or try to pull you down by the legs, they'll try to steal your ideas, your words, your vision, your moves and even your positive traits and make it their own. Their idea of progress is " Anything you can do, I can do better than you". Problem is, you are the only one who seems to be doing "anything". Them, copy cats or watered down versions of you.

Remember they haven't made it to the top and imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. That's one more reason to keep climbing.

4. Those who'll try to push you back down the ladder

These are people who made it to a few (or many) steps above you and trying very hard to stop you from getting up there. They feel insecure and afraid of competition and will throw anything at you to slow down your progress or thwart your efforts to get up there.

Remember they haven't made it to the top and the reason you are trying to climb to the top is to make sure people like these are outnumbered. That's one more reason to keep climbing.

5. Those who'll take you by the hand and pull you up the ladder

These people are very, very few. They've made it to the top the ladder with or without help and are not bitter about how hard it was to get up there. They see themselves in you and your struggles and are ready and willing to pull you up any way they can.

Remember they already made it and think you too can make it up there. That's one more reason to keep climbing.

6. Those who'll push you up the ladder

These are mostly family, friends and even strangers who self-lessly mean well or sincerely want to see one of "their own" become "somebody". They are the people who'll lend you their energy just so that you keep going or see you beat-down and say something encouraging.

Remember them when you get up there because they say when you get up there, its really lonely. That's reason to help others climb the ladder of success with you or pull them up when you get there. The more the merrier!

I don't know about you, I just want to keep climbing and climbing and climbing.


	Internationally recognized Relationships Coach and author of three popular eBooks: Dating Your Ex, The Art of Seducing Out Of Fullness and Playing Hard To Get the Love Way, Yangki Christine Akiteng has devoted years of her life helping men and women create loving, authentic, exciting and fulfilling relationships. Having lived and worked in Africa, Europe and North America, Yangki brings a unique international perspective and multicultural understanding to her work. For more articles and information on the services she offers to singles and couples please visit: www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com Ask your questions, read answers and join discussions on HOT Topics at: www.askthelovedoctor.com. All are welcome!

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» left by Edward Rhymes ^(2,056)
Edward Rhymes (47 days 16 hours ago.)

Wise, succinct and true Yangki. We have to know that the climb is worth it even if it's difficult. You have outlined, beautifully why it is so necessary to... KEEP ON CLIMBING! Thank you for this wonderful contribution.

» left by Yangki Christine Akiteng ^(131,699)
Yangki Christine Akiteng (47 days 9 hours ago.)

This may sound weird but I consider the “difficult” part of the climb a blessing. It not only keeps us grounded but focused on what’s most important in life. For me, it is a “burden” I carry with pride and gratitude and hope that somehow my words can reach someone else going through the same "difficulties". Let him or her know that he or she is not alone -- one more reason to keep climbing :-)

My people say, when you know where you came from, you do not need someone else to tell you where you’re going.

Thank you for your kind and uplifting words.

» left by Ken McCreless ^(1,709)
Ken McCreless (47 days 15 hours ago.)

Great article, Yangki.

The problem is, sometimes it's not so easy to tell who is who. I know you have helped me along, towards success, in ways you might not imagine.

» left by Yangki Christine Akiteng ^(131,699)
Yangki Christine Akiteng (47 days 8 hours ago.)

The problem is, sometimes it's not so easy to tell who is who...

So very true, Ken. I’m fortunate though that I was raised with worldview that says “mankind is inherently good until he/she proves otherwise.” Not only do I always see the good in others, it’s easy for me to give them the permission to be human -- have faults, weaknesses and even do something I may not agree with. Even the people who try to stand in my way, I consider them "my teachers". Some are excellent examples of who and what I don't want to become - ever!

It’s so easy to get caught up fighting off the enemy (real or imagined) and lose sight of or fail to recognize the opportunities in life to do good for others.

I have no idea what ways I might have been of help to you. Reading your words brought tears to my eyes… I’m very humbled. Thank you.

» left by Michelle Mackin (47 days 15 hours ago.)

You go Christine,

Bravo, Bravo!

I too desire to keep climbing. All the way to my Father's house. I will also help others who are climbing with me.

Miss you and I write to you at another time.

Love, hugs and blessings,

Michelle

» left by Yangki Christine Akiteng ^(131,699)
Yangki Christine Akiteng (47 days 8 hours ago.)

I’m with you Michelle, all the way to Our Father’s house…

I know you’ve been going through some pretty hard times. My experience is that sometimes the harder the climb the stronger the resolve. You just know deep in the depth of your soul that you have to keep climbing -- for others. It’s not a choice whether or not to keep climbing, it’s a “commandment”.

I love you and look forward to hearing from you!!! Be so ever richly blessed.

» left by Brianna Popsickle ^(1,724)
Brianna Popsickle (47 days 7 hours ago.)

You are right on with your article and with your response to Ken. I'm very lucky to have people close to me who are fully supportive and will be genuinely happy for me if and when "I reach the top", whatever that might be. :) But like Ken said, sometimes it's hard to know who is sincere and who isn't. Like you, I always choose to see the good in people, mainly because I don't want to see anything else. But I am learning to distance myself from those who 'talk the talk' but don't 'walk the walk'. Great article Christine.

» left by Yangki Christine Akiteng ^(131,699)
Yangki Christine Akiteng (47 days 6 hours ago.)

Brianna, I’ve followed you on here and I can testify to the fact that you see the good in others. This is a strength and a weakness (with some people) but I don’t need to tell you that…:-)

“those who 'talk the talk' but don't 'walk the walk'.

I’ll add to that, “those who are incapable of walking in another’s shoes”. I’m not perfect and tend to give people a lot of room not to be perfect either, but where I draw the line is when a person says things, does something, treats or prejudges someone else based on WHO that person is -- and not what the person has said/ done or not said/done.

The way I see it, if someone is incapable of walking in someone else’s shoes, that person can’t walk at all. Period.

Thank you adding to the article.

» left by Michael Brazier ⁽²⁷⁾
Michael Brazier (47 days ago.)

Thanks for the inspiration, great read. Ill have to post an image to my profile as well, makes the read softer seeing who has posted it. Keep on climbing!

» left by Yangki Christine Akiteng ^(131,699)
Yangki Christine Akiteng (46 days 20 hours ago.)

Hi Michael, welcome to Searchwarp :-)!!!!

I'm glad you found inspiration in my humble writing. I agree seeing who is writing does help -somewhat. I'll keep on climbing ... thanks.

» left by Anonymous (46 days 19 hours ago.)

Wow, what an awesome new pic...and I thought the other ones were good!

-G

» left by Yangki Christine Akiteng ^(131,699)
Yangki Christine Akiteng (46 days 10 hours ago.)

Thanks G.... refreshed my main website and blog and just seemed right to refresh pic here too.

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