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Good communication is vital to the success of a long term relationship. Often times we go through our days getting caught up in the day to day chores and routines and not only do we start taking each other for granted and lose some of our intimacy in the process but we also let things that bother us accumulate until it brings itself to an ugly outburst.
Taking a moment to work on improving your communication skills can go a long way in digging down to the root of your problems and hopefully become more efficient at getting things out in the open and worked on before it gets to that point.
Here are a few ways to help improve the communication in your relationship.
Learn to really listen to your partner. I don't mean just hearing the words and nodding at the correct times which so many of us have programmed ourselves to do and not only in our relationships but our work environments and in social settings with people we may feel a slight disconnect with.
To really listen to our partner we need to clear our minds and be especially diligent about not letting our minds drift off onto other concerns which can be difficult. It seems there's always so many things going on that need your thought and attention. Focus your entire self into what they are saying. Repeat back for clarification if you are unsure of what it is exactly they are trying to communicate or to give them a chance to go into greater detail should they desire.
Without trying to draw any wrong conclusions, attempt to hear with your third ear anything you feel might be just underneath the surface that you can help dig up. Sometimes when someone is venting, they have waited until things have piled up and they may not even be sure themselves what the real issue is. Together, with your practicing at becoming a better listener, maybe you can reach the real causes of the dissatisfaction and overcome it together.
When communicating with your partner, try to do so without unnecessary emotion and stick to real facts and real issues. "You are driving me crazy" is vague and won't lead to a helpful discussion. Something more along the lines of "It makes me upset when you storm off while I'm talking". "It makes me upset" is a fact and your partner storming off in the middle of a dispute is also a fact. It's much easier to week out the real problems and work together to solve them when you can pinpoint and verbally express just what those are.
So many marriages end up in divorce and many believe the primary reason for this is a lack of or poor communication skills. Taking a few minutes to re-evaluate how you communicate, through listening, actually hearing and properly expressing yourself can help your relationship endure.
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