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It's easy to settle into a routine within your marriage. You get up, go to work, come home and then start the cycle over again the next day. You might not even be aware that there are troubles in your marriage. I mean, everything is going along exactly as it always as, right?
The trouble is that it is not uncommon for one spouse to be completely blindsided when they are served with papers for divorce. They just had absolutely no clue that their spouse was unhappy or maybe the signs were there but they just didn't know what to watch for so they missed them.
Here are some signs that there may be problems in your relationship along with a little advice you can use to reconnect before it's too late.
You never have meaningful conversations.
A good morning here, a kiss on the cheek there, maybe a little joking around now and again but if you find that you and your spouse aren't connecting on a deeper, more intimate level then this could be leading to trouble.
What can you do about it?
Remember when the two of you would hold hands and go on a nice walk through the park, spend the day at the zoo or just sit at the beach and talk about anything and everything? This probably has a lot of what made the two of you fall in love in the first place. You knew everything about them, how they felt, what they wanted out of life, everything. It's time to grab your partner by their hand and go for a nice long walk. Open up and encourage them to do the same. Don't allow yourself to get caught up in the day to day grind while just taking everything for granted. Make the time to reconnect and fall in love over and over again.
Your partner shares their milestones with someone else.
There was probably a time when you were the first person they called to share the good news with when they got a raise, a promotion or even just a great parking space. Does it seem like you are now receiving news, good and bad, second or even third hand from her family members, friends or co-workers? If you are no longer the "go to" person then this is a sign that there has been a significant communication breakdown.
What can you do about it?
The next time you get some news, whether it is first or third hand, make that the most important thing of your day. If it's good news, get excited, take them out to celebrate. Let them know how happy and proud you are of them. I'm sure at one point you did that anyway without having to be reminded. If the news is bad, be there for them. It is more important than the ball game on TV or the dinner in the oven. Those are the times when your spouse really does need you the most and you need to make sure you're the one there to be their emotional support system.
In conclusion: There is nothing really new or eye opening here. It's just what may be referred to in the business world as "getting back to basics". Look back at the way things were when you were falling in love together and start falling in love all over again.
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