I wasn't sure why that particular Sunday was different than all the others, but for some reason my eyes drifted to the back corner of the sanctuary and my feet followed suit. It seems weird to sit this far back, I thought. Truth be told, I walked in feeling a tad sorry for myself because I was missing my husband and didn't want to bump into anyone I knew – ha! That's what I get for thinking when I'm not used to it... The music played softly; my eyes drifted across the sea of people; blended faces as my thoughts were afar off – and then I saw her. She was off to my right, a few rows behind me.
Without hesitation, I picked up my belongings and raced to the empty seat next to her. It had been two years since we had seen each other last. We exchanged a quick and quiet hello, and then she asked me to scoot down one because Bill was going to be in shortly. A warmth came over me and I chuckled to myself as I realized the real reason my feet carried me to the back of the sanctuary. I hadn't finished my thought when Bill walked in to the Isle and stood next to Paula. My heart sighed and the tears welled up in my eyes as I heard each of them singing with hearts of gratitude to our Lord.
You are the air I breathe, You are the love I need and I would lay down my life…
That was it for me; I could hardly sing as the joyful tears took me back two years to a time when things looked a lot different.
~~~~~
"Who is it?" I asked while unlocking the door. "It's Paula".
Her eyes were swollen for all the tears she had obviously shed. "It's Charlene, I need your help." She said as she pushed past me. "I'll be back; I'm going to Paula's". With that, we headed back to her place.
She poured out her heart as thoughts came to her in sporadic fashion, giving me details of what had been going on for the previous six months. My mind was a whirlwind as I listened and tried to piece together the actual order of events that led her to reach out. By the end of the evening, two details were all that mattered. Charlene, her 15 yr. old daughter had a serious drug problem, and Bill had left her because he couldn't cope. By the evenings end I had no words of wisdom, but committed to meet with her daily to study and pray, as this was her only request.
I prayed for strength to be her hope when she had none, I prayed for a mighty miracle of deliverance for Charlene and I prayed for God to convict Bill's heart – Lord Jesus, fill his heart with conviction for running out on his family in a time of trial. Where ever he is, whatever he is doing right this moment; let him see your face and hear your voice, bring him home – don't let him run.
This was our daily routine for months. She grew stronger in her faith – I grew stronger in faith. For a while, the situation continued to worsen. Charlene began to steal and was caught with drugs, causing her to spend time in the Juvenile detention center. Bill asked for a divorce and told her she had to move out of his house. Rightfully, she was discouraged. "Please Lord", I would continue to pray while I was away from her.
Paula had grown to rely on God and along with the classes she was taking, became confident and ready to face her future without her husband. Then three months later without warning, Bill came home. He fell to his knees before her and asked for forgiveness. He said it was as if God were following him wherever he went and he couldn't escape the heaviness that began to fill his heart not too long before this. With that, I took my queue and quietly stepped away.
About a month after Bill had gone home, he came over to my house wanting to speak to Art and me. It was apparent that he was a different man; humbled and scared yet confident and ready to face the battle for his stepdaughter's life with his wife. They began counseling with their pastor and behavior therapists, and took parenting classes on how to cope with and help their children overcome addiction.
The road to recovery was not easy and there were many hurdles still to overcome, but God was working a miracle. We had moved out of the neighborhood and we lost contact – I'm not sure why, but we did – and then just about a year ago, I saw Charlene. She looked amazingly healthy and happy. She was working, which meant she was drug-free. When graduation day came this past June, she walked down the isle with pride. As far as I knew, Bill and Paula were still doing great and in the audience somewhere, but I hadn't seen them together.
~~~~~
Savior, He can move a mountain, my God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save…
I was jolted back to the now, when Bill's deep voice reached my ears with the singing of these powerful words. I don't think it was a coincidence that the title of the pastor's message that day was "Pity Parties: How to Avoid Them."
During the time Paula and I met, we talked about why it is so difficult for us to ask for help. We don't want to be embarrassed or for people to know the real us. We want people to think we have it all together. But the truth is, keeping to ourselves only causes more heartbreak while reducing the chance of real change and victory in any given situation. The fact is we have been created to need each other.
The road to recovery takes heart, discipline, faith, and never giving up. It doesn't necessarily take all parties involved. In this case, and with others I have counseled with, it started with just one willing person who reached out for help and was willing to bear the burden and initiate all the hard work for the entire family. God did the rest.
Admittingly, there are some cases where the spouse does not come home, but your efforts will not be in vain because you will have the strength and support to help your child. The following sites are a great place to start in getting the help you need.
** This story has been shared at the request of Bill and Paula **
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