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Home » Categories » Entertainment » Humor » 5 Reasons Why I Refuse To Turn 30 » Reprint Rights » Printer Friendly

Timothy Ward

5 Reasons Why I Refuse To Turn 30

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Submitted Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Timothy Ward (533)
Timothy Ward



I'm supposed to turn 30 years old this month. But I think I'm going to refuse and stay 29 another year or so. 'Why', you ask? Well I'll tell you why...

1. By the time my Father turned 30 he had a great job, a beautiful wife, a nice home, 2 1/2 kids (I was still inside Mommy) and an afro. I, on the other hand, have none of those things. I might have been able to pull off the afro but my hairline started receding at 19 and there is nothing worse than a 'fro with the front missing.

There is one thing I will have at 30 that my Father did not and that is a Level 58 Night Elf Druid on World of Warcraft. Yes, I play World of Warcraft...all the more reason for me to stay 29.

2. Once you turn 30 you can no longer use the excuse that 'you are young and in your 20's' when explaining why you do dumb things. Once you turn 30 and you do stupid stuff you are just immature and irresponsible. Actions that a week ago would have been met with laughs and giggles are now met with eye rolling and looks of disgust. People who loved hanging out with you when you were 29 and still 'young' will now shun your company because you are too 'childish'.

I can't speak for anyone else but I personally plan on engaging in lots more dumbness and I don't want to be looked down upon for it just because I crossed some imaginary age marker.

3. I live in a college town where anyone over 25 is considered OLD. Fortunately, I don't look my age and so everyone assumed I was around 23 or 24 and no one ever asked. But I know that as soon as I turn 30 everyone is going to want to know exactly how old I am.

If I had friends that were all my age this wouldn't be a big deal, but most of my friends are between the ages of 19 and 26 and I really don't feel like being the creepy old guy when we go out to clubs and bars. I can just see some pretty young college girl upon finding out my age turning to her friends and asking: "Like, who brought their Dad???"

4. I don't feel 30. I don't think your age should legally change until you feel that age. It just seems stupid that just because 365 days have passed I am no longer allowed to be in my Twenties. I don't feel a day over 24, ok maybe 26. Sure I'm starting to get a few more aches and pains in a few places, and sure my libido takes extended vacations that it never used to take, and maybe I don't have the strength and stamina that I used to, but that could just be from hard living. It has nothing to do with the number 3 or the number 0.

5. Ten years after you turn 30 you turn 40 and I'm in no condition to deal with that kind of pressure right now...

So there they are, 5 great reasons why I am refusing to turn 30 this year. Hopefully, I will inspire others who read this article to take up this cause and refuse to be bullied into premature aging as well. If we all stand together we can put an end to this insane and outdated practice once and for all. We will be able to form a world where people are as old as they want to be and no older. We will be The Ageless, The Forever Young, The Ones Who Never Became Senior Citizens. Then again, I'm young and in my 20's, what do I know...


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Comments on this article:


» left by Brianna Popsickle (36 days 16 hours ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
I'm with you on this one Timothy! Only I've passed the 30 mark! But like you I"m fighting it every step of the way. :) Great article!

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» left by Timothy Ward (545)
Timothy Ward
(36 days 2 hours ago.)

Thanks a lot Brianna.

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» left by Marijo Phelps (2,821)
Marijo Phelps
(36 days 10 hours ago.)

Reader Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Gave me a chuckle...however, from my perspective the odometer rolling over probably beats the alternative......Marijo (Mary Jo) who is a LONG way past 30 for sure.

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» left by Timothy Ward (545)
Timothy Ward
(36 days 2 hours ago.)

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Glad I could throw a chuckle or two your way.

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» left by David Tanguay (9,535)
David Tanguay
(36 days 9 hours ago.)

Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
When I turned 30 I thought I was old. But next month I'll turn 61 and I wouldn't want to go back one day.

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» left by Timothy Ward (545)
Timothy Ward
(36 days 2 hours ago.)

Thanks for the comment. It's funny I was talking to my Dad the other day and he said basically the same thing.

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» left by Marijo Phelps from mountain meadow CO (36 days 2 hours ago.)
I hear you David... I will be 64 in April - andI love being 63 plus - the growing (groaning?) and hopefully things learned make it all worth it! I loved 29... and 39... and 49.... turning to the next number was like starting all over at the bottom again! Marijo

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» left by David Tanguay (9,535)
David Tanguay
(36 days 2 hours ago.)

Yeah Marijo, what I like about being this age is the peace of mind I've acquired through the years.

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» left by Ronyae (4,474)
Ronyae
(35 days 8 hours ago.)

Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
You know, Timothy, that world does exist. But, it's a secret place. I went for years staying 25 years old, until this year it didn't feel right saying, "I'm 25 ... been 25 for 12 years now." I'm LOL at the senseless of it, but I wanted to hold on to my youth just that bad.
 
Try it, and you'll see that it's not that bad being "mature" (smile). Happy Birthday, 'Young' Man!

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» left by Anonymous (35 days 5 hours ago.)
Reader Rating: 4 out of 5
Ah, to be 30 again. You don't know how lucky you are. Hey, about the house and 2 1/2 kids, we live in a different time, so don't beat yourself over it. My brother has been a union man for 30 years, he has everything. He's also a real jerk, and an unhappy one, so there are other important things besides the typical American dream lie.
 
-G

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» left by Steven Rogers (2,246)
Steven Rogers
(25 days 6 hours ago.)

Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
I am with you I turn 29 for the 3rd time on Wed. I'm getting used to the idea but still not ready to take the plunge. My stupid antics are just too much fun happy B- day

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Article added to SearchWarp.com on 10/7/2009 6:25:01 PM.
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Timothy Ward


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