It is reasonable to suggest that I have owned some terrible furniture over the years but my recent crop of claptrap could take some beating!
My previous sofa, which I owned for 10 years, was affectionately known as the " backbreaker"! Not some brutal finishing move you might imagine in the wrestling ring but simply how bad you felt after five minutes in this bone crushing chair of doom! It claimed many a victim during the passage of time and earned itself a formidable reputation as the most deadly piece of furniture in the west!
Ten years on and a tearful farewell was bid to that lime green piece of junk and replaced by a shiny, new, chocolate brown, leathery, (the added y' is a clue) reclining, luxury backbreaker!
However, this backbreaker comes with a few little extra bells and whistles. My wife is by no means a short lady but finds her feet quite some way from the ground when sitting upright! I am nudging six feet tall, and I am only just brushing terra firma with the tips of my toes.
Not to worry though, we have reclining seats don't we? Ah yes, the reclining seats. No doubt a wonderful invention and a luxury we didn't think we deserved until we realised that having a cosy night in front of the television, with our feet up, would actually involve us sitting at opposite ends of the sofa, because of course the middle section doesn't recline! Our consolation being, that if we really stretch our arms we can just about hold hands in the middle of nowhere.
Cheap beds are also not the soundest investment one can make. Credit to my previous bed though, it survived a few years before collapsing under the weight of a lettuce sandwich! Our new bed is an altogether different experience, it looks sturdier, it feels sturdier, but the slats holding the mattress in place give way every time I sit on it!
I am not vastly overweight (although the loss of a few pounds wouldn't hurt) but it appears the supporting slats are not quite wide enough to cover the full width of the bed, meaning any move of significance is accompanied by a popping sound and sinking feeling. Rarely a night goes by without having to be rescued from a crevasse between the bed and floor!
Anyway, waking up after two hours of erratic sleep brings with it the joys of morning, the birds singing, the sun beaming through the kitchen window and the breakfast stools from Hades! Beautifully finished in beech and with chrome legs, half a glass of orange juice later, the sharp seat edges have wedged themselves deep into the thigh muscle and threatened to draw blood.
By this time, one is wonderfully refreshed and ready for a hard day at work! What exactly is the moral of my story? Beware the wolf in sheep's clothing that is lovely looking furniture at knock down prices, and don't ever visit our house for a relaxing retreat!
Currently studying freelance journalism, Julian is a creative writer and poet and writes both professionally and for pleasure. Professionally, Julian writes articles for an internet marketing company and although he is often restricted by topic, his writing still maintains his own unique style. He has written a series of heartfelt and impartial articles about the success and controversy surrounding the electronic cigarette. He has found the discipline involved with this work to be a great writing exercise and believes it enhances and improves the rest of his writing. Julian's articles at Searchwarp are of a much more personal nature, where he feels he can express his views and interests in the world around him.
You're too funny Julian. I think you should be allowed to sit on a sofa, eat popcorn and watch a movie before deciding if it's the right sofa for you. When buying a new bed you should be allowed to take an overnight bag and try it out. We purchased a very expensive 'firm' mattress and have ended up throwing a cheap foam pad on top trying to make it more comfortable. So more expensive isn't always the answer either I guess. Great article. :)
Thanks Brianna! After your revelation regarding an expensive mattress, perhaps my article should be re-titled, "The curse of all furniture"! Perhaps we should just resort back to hay for bedding and seating! lol Julian :)
Well funny! I have had a bad mattress experience - never get memory foam! I normally have bad furniture because it was usually someone else's first! The only things I have that came new to me were the two sofas which, after two years, have sagged/compressed a bit but are generally still comfortable! Phew! Guess I should be grateful for small mercies!
Disclaimer: All information on this site is provided for informational purposes only! By no means is any
information presented herein intended to substitute for the advice provided to you by any health care or other professional
or organization.
tweet this!
