My problem is I'm height challenged. I don't carry extra weight well. Anytime I put on a few extra pounds, I look like a walking beach ball. If I were taller, I would carry weight more attractively but at five feet, four inches, all my extra weight places are already taken.
In an attempt to rid my body of the fat it's become so friendly with, I have been seeing a hypnotist, taking daily walks with my son and logging everything I eat. I can hear that slimy fat as it's grasping onto my stomach, hips and butt, laughing and mocking me for even trying. I lose a pound or so and several ounces of its fatty little cousins come to visit but the original 'long time residents' have really set up housekeeping. They're not moving.
Out of frustration, I decided to add an exercise program, but it wasn't going to be easy. I have fibromyalgia and arthritis AND in case you hadn't noticed, I'm not eighteen anymore; hell, I'm not even sixty anymore.
I sat down one afternoon and sorted through my exercise DVDs. I hadn't used them in so long I couldn't remember what was on them. I decided to go with the old stand by, Richard Simmons since I have several of his DVDs.
I put one of the DVDs in because I remembered it to be the easiest, gentlest of his programs. I didn't intend to actually work out but I just wanted to see if it's the one I wanted to use. I'm not sure where I got this DVD, but I am sure I've never used it before; I would have remembered this one. Here's a rundown of the exercises. Nose exercise, two minutes. Exercise for saggy elbows, five minutes. Exercise for the face in general, four minutes. Exercise for abs and flabby upper arms, four minutes. Exercise for Jell-O stomach and upper thighs, could take all day. Ten minute break to reaffirm your positive attitude. (What positive attitude; they've just pointed out all my fat blobs for the whole world to know about.) Exercise for will power, one minute for every ten pounds overweight. This was the most painful of all the exercises. Mind you, I didn't actually do any of the exercises I was exhausted just watching other people do them...and finally, exercise to restore sagging self confidence. This one was my favorite exercise. We were instructed to "Remove exercise garb, take a shower and put on anything you have that's too big on you, for comfort. If you don't have anything that's too big for you, lose a little weight and then try the next DVD in this series".
What? I give up. If I had anything too big, I wouldn't be trying to lose weight!
The author of this article has chosen to make this article available with free reprint rights. Click here to copy this article.
» left by Brianna Popsickle (12 days 3 hours ago.)
Get out of here, you're not over sixty! I don't believe you for a minute. I loved your article. I never worked out with Richard, but I do remember working out with Jane Fonda. The days of the sweatbands and leg warmers. We've come a long way baby!
YOU remember working out with Jane Fonda??? Are you old enough to have done that? Actually I just turned 62...thank God (and Mom and Dad) for good genes!
Thanks again, Brianna, for reading and commenting.
At 5' 2" I'm even more height challenged than you are. I've always envied people who have actual waists instead of having their bottom rib knocking into the top of their hips.
Seriously though, if you really want to lose weight, take it slow and have patience. Set reasonable goals and don't fret too much. I find that taking one day a week and making it a "diet" day works. Just one. Do it too often and you start to feel resentful and like you are missing something.
Anyway, you wrote this with your usual wit and humor and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I like to think I'm spry. Being over 60 hasn't put me in a rocker just yet.
But seriously, thanks for the advice. I guess I always want the extra 10 or 20 pounds off NOW. I appreciate you reading and commenting, Dianne, and I'm really glad you enjoyed it.
Disclaimer: All information on this site is provided for informational purposes only! By no means is any
information presented herein intended to substitute for the advice provided to you by any health care or other professional
or organization.
