"It's me. I'm in big trouble. I need your help. I need you to call my sister."
It was her boyfriend of almost two years. He sounded scared.
Dale had been arrested for stealing from his employer. Details were sketchy. All she knew was it had to be a mistake. He would never do such a thing. His employer treated him like a son. He could never do that.
She hung up the phone in shock. She had been with him just hours earlier. They had gone out to eat and to the drive-in. She didn't understand what could have happened.
She would find out over the next few days
She had met Dale when she was just seventeen. He was her girlfriend's older brother. She would go swimming at her friends and he'd be there teasing his sister like big brothers do. He was three years older than her. He was very outgoing and confident. He had a witty sense of humor and his eyes lit up when he smiled. He was always smiling. He made her smile. He made her blush.
It wasn't long and he asked her out. They became inseparable. They would spend days at the beach, going to the movies or just hanging out. Like all teens in a small town they spent Friday nights driving up and down the main street in his new van, while Styx and Supertramp blared on the radio. He started going to church with her on Sundays. His family welcomed her into their home, and Dale quickly became part of her family too.
He was her first love. Sometimes she felt like he knew her better than she knew herself. He nicknamed her Sister Rita, among other names, poking fun at her for being a shy Catholic girl. He was anything but shy, having been an army brat' moving from place to place all his life.
They dated just over a year and upon graduation she accepted a job in a city two hours away. Dale wasn't happy about it. His family had moved to the city previously and with her gone he'd be alone. Her job offer was too good to refuse and he couldn't leave his. She moved to the city to live with her sister.
Although she missed Dale, she enjoyed her new job and began meeting new people. Almost everyday through the week she'd receive funny "I Miss You Cards" or a long letter from him. They kept Bell in business. She would go home most weekends to see him. Sometimes he'd give her gifts like perfume or ornaments. He'd tell her they'd been given to him by a salesman at work, as part of a promotion. She had no reason to think otherwise.
The last night she spent with Dale he'd made it clear he wasn't happy with her being in another city, working with other guys. She liked her new job and wasn't prepared to make any life long decisions. They agreed things would remain the way they were, seeing each other on weekends.
That early morning phone call was the last time she'd speak to him. She later found out the details of the arrest. After he dropped her off that last night, he had gone to his place of employment and proceeded to help himself to various items and cash. It turned out it wasn't the first time he'd done that. Unknown to him, the police had been aware of the theft and had him under surveillance. They were waiting for him that night and caught him red-handed.
She was in shock, but unlike everyone around her, her first reaction was not one of betrayal or anger, it was one of concern. Concern for his health, he was a diabetic, and concern for his well-being. She'd heard from his family he was not coping well. He was in jail awaiting a court date.
It was a small town and word spread. Her parents felt betrayed and hurt, rightfully so. They had treated him like family. Their first concern was for their daughter and they thought it best she distanced herself from him. They forbid her to see or speak to him. She did as they asked knowing they had her best interest at heart, but it tore her apart.
Dale was the person she'd confided in whenever anything was wrong. She felt so alone without him to talk to and could only imagine how alone he must have been feeling. She called his sister constantly to hear how he was doing. She asked her to tell him she was thinking of him. She bought a joke book for his sister to take to him. She wanted to make him laugh the way he always made her laugh. He would never receive it.
She wanted nothing more than to talk to him, to give him a hug, to tell him things would be O.K. And she needed answers. She needed to know why he did what he did. She needed to know if he had lied to her about anything else. But as much as she wanted to talk to him she couldn't. His actions had caused a lot of pain for a lot of people. She couldn't go against her parent's wishes.
Days passed, then weeks. His family had asked her to stop calling. They said she had abandoned him when he needed her most. She understood how they felt. She lived with the guilt each day.
She read about the outcome in the paper. He was sentenced to jail, but they went easy on him. The judge said, "Men can do crazy things when infatuated with a woman." Dale had said he did what he did for her. He thought if had money to buy a house, they could start a future together. He used his love for her as an excuse for his actions.
That's when the feelings of betrayal set in. The time she had spent feeling guilty for abandoning him, he had spent building his defense, using her as the scapegoat. She was devastated and on the verge of an eating disorder. Her parents and family had gone through hell living in the small town where rumors ran rampant.
It turned out he had been sending her letters all along, but her sister had been instructed to keep them from her. Now that it was over they gave her the last letter that had arrived.
In it he said she'd never find lasting love and happiness with anyone because she didn't know what it was to stand by someone in bad times. He said she had let him down.
She was crushed. No one had ever made her as happy as he had when they first met. No one had ever hurt her like this.
She tried to rationalize what he said. He was speaking from anger. He felt hurt and alone. He thought she had abandoned him. If she were him she would probably feel the same way. But she could never excuse his stealing from his employer and misusing the trust that had been placed in him.
Her first love taught her just how wonderful love could be. It also taught her the people closest to you, have the power to hurt you the most. She learned to keep people at arms length.
Months later she began dating a man in her office who slowly got her to trust again. A year later she heard Dale was out of jail. She began to receive calls late at night with no one on the other end. The man she was dating noticed a car outside his apartment regularly, watching him, following him. As quickly as the phone calls began they ended. Dale had moved on and she could finally put those memories to rest, but could she?
Today when she thinks of him, and oddly enough she sometimes does, her first thoughts are of how he made her laugh. She wonders about his health, and where he ended up. She admits to once having Googled his name.
She hopes he found love as she did, and that he learned from his mistakes. She hopes he wasn't lying when he told her he loved her all those times.
But more than anything she hopes that deep down he knew just how much she really cared for him, and was able to forgive himself, as she forgave him a long time ago.
Brianna Popsickle, Letters From A Suburban Prison
Observations and reflections on life, and the people around her; written as a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, neighbour, co-worker, or whatever else anyone needs her to be.
Artist. Writer. Woman. - Struggling to re-appear after years of confinement in a suburban prison.
Is this fiction or are you the"she"in this story?Intuitively,I feel that "she" is in stalking jeopardy ;although the anonymous calls have stopped, 'Dale' and his family still blame"her" .Dale is watching and waiting.That time in jail changed him into a hateful person who seeks revenge for abandonment ; he feels that none of this would have happened if he hadn't been left behind.Even if it's fiction,he is torn with love and hate for"her"and is watching and waiting,watching and waiting.
» left by Brianna Popsickle (33 days 12 hours ago.)
I don't think she is in any jeopardy. I think by the end of the story many years had passed and they had both moved on. I'm sure you are right though, I'm sure they both experienced feelings of love and hate. She was able to forgive him over time and maybe over time, he came to understand he had no one to blame for his actions but himself, and forgave her too. Thanks for reading Paul and for taking time to comment.
Hi Brianna, really nicely written as always. I like how you have left the fact or fiction question open to subtle interpretation. Once again the very "human" nature of your "story" compells the reader to continue, all of us likely seeing a bit of ourselves in there somewhere. Julian :)
Hi Brianna, what a compelling story - I have one similar - only the ending is quite different. Repentance, forgiveness, healing, coversion. Joy. Thank you for sharing. You leave me with many, many thoughts running through my mind. Blessings to you! Teresa
This is a very moving story and I'm sure that a lot of readers can relate to it. I know that I can. Learning to trust again after something like that is difficult. And many people are more willing to blame others for their self-created woes than themselves. It's a hard road to the realization that you have harmed yourself all by yourself.
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