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If there is any one time of day that is ideal for families to come together it is the final meal of the day. Dinner or suppertime is an opportunity for mother, father and each child to have some face to face time with each other. This is a good time for family bonding and opening channels of communication. I know this from personal experience. I have talked to friends who have almost never had a sit-down meal with their parents. In my friends' homes dinner is always eaten in front of the television, or everyone eats whenever they feel like it. My friends have been envious that my mother actually cooked dinner each night, and that we always sat at the table, looked at each other, and talked to each other.
The first thing you need to do to get the family together for a meal and some conversation is to eliminate distractions. Nobody can focus on the family if television, radio or telephone calls are interrupting. Turn off the television and radio, and make it a rule not to answer the telephone while everyone is seated. Try to make mealtime conversations enjoyable for everyone by avoiding corrections, criticisms, or lectures. Avoid possibly emotion-laden discussions on how to solve a conflict the family is currently having. There are other settings that are better for those conversations.
Parents can set the example and break the ice a bit by telling a little something about their own day or something they read that day. They can also ask questions about their children's day, but avoid framing questions that can be answered "yes," "no" or "fine." Be sensitive to the fact that some members of the family are prone to talk more than others. A good way to include some of the quiet ones may be to go around the table and give everyone a turn, at least to start.
You might also like to introduce topics like movies, books, television, music, the news, games or anything else that comes to mind. You might want to ask everyone a question about something they like: "what is your favorite book and why", for instance. You may find you will learn some things about each other that you did not know before. You might want to volunteer a good joke you have just heard. Share pleasant stories of your childhood. Children also like to hear stories of things that have happened in their family when they were little or things that their grandparents did that is different from today. Share the news you have heard about the lives of their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. You can simply share anything new that you learned that day.
After you, as the parent, have gotten the conversation started, sit back and be quiet. Listen and learn from children. Enjoy each other, love each other and make happy memories together that they will carry through all their lives. Someday as they are talking to their own friends they will realize how special their family is. You will glad that you had this time with your children.
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