In 1958 I began corresponding with a pen pal in Germany . My parents were farmers and belonged to a farm organization called The Grange. It was through this organization that I received Ute's name and address and sent a letter to her. Her first letter to me was written in German. She had submitted her name at school for a pen pal and was told it was for American school children who wanted to practice their skills with the German language. In Germany children are required to learn three languages beginning in early grade school, and continuing throughout their schooling; German, English and their choice of French or Spanish for the third language. Fortunately my mom had a friend who spoke German and translated that first letter for me.
Unlike many pen pal relationships ours has lasted for nearly fifty years. Not only lasted, but greatly expanded.
Until 1985 our letters had been brief and rather formal. But we also exchanged photos, birth announcements of our children and things like graduation announcements. In 1985 my husband and I decided to celebrate our 25 th wedding anniversary with a party and I sent an invitation to Ute.
Two weeks before the party, at 6 a.m. a phone call came. I'd worked until midnight the night before and so was still in bed. One of my high school sons was up getting ready for school and answered the phone. Then he was at my bedroom door saying, "Mom, Ute is on the phone." It felt like I traveled the 30 feet or so from bedroom to the kitchen phone in about two giant steps. Then I heard "Joyce, I'm coming to your party." Even though we had never spoken, the voice I heard seemed familiar, as if this was someone I'd talked to many times.
When the phone call ended I excitedly told my husband and sons that Ute was coming to my party. It almost felt like I couldn't breathe from the excitement. Within about two minutes I remembered what my end of the conversation had been and panic set in. About all I could remember of what I said to her was repeating loudly in my nasal, shrieking voice "Oh, Ute, Oh, Ute, I'm so happy." All I could think of was my bizarre reaction and was afraid she had hung up thinking she was talking to a raving maniac and seriously reconsidering coming to the party.
This was quickly followed by excitement"My pen pal is coming to visit!" I couldn't wait to tell everyone I knew. But it was 6 a.m., so I forced myself to wait two long hours for a more reasonable time to begin calling people. I later learned Ute's husband had surprised her by arranging for her to get time off from work and presenting her with the plane ticket. She was so excited she completely forgot about the time difference.
Over the next two weeks I bounced between excitement and anxiety. I was going to meet my pen pal! But because our letters had been brief and rather formal I didn't have a real sense of what she was like. What if she was allergic to our pets? What if she didn't smoke and didn't like being around a smoker? I needn't have worried. By the time we'd driven her to our home from the airport she commented that she felt she was with family.
Over the years there have been several trips between Omaha and Hanover by both of us. In 1989 she and her husband came to visit and we discovered our husbands also get along very well. A year later our oldest son was to be married and the wedding was taking place in our back yard. Ute had said she wouldn't be able to come since she and Adolf had just been here the year before. Three days before the wedding she called me, asking many questions about the wedding; where the rehearsal was to be held, what was my dress like, etc. The evening of the wedding rehearsal was a bit chaotic. Some of the tuxedos needed a bit of mending, or the pant legs were too long. At one point my youngest son came outside to tell me there was a problem and I was needed in the house. As soon as I walked in Ute jumped out from around a corner!! For a moment it felt as if my legs wouldn't support me. Then my tears started. It seems a few days earlier her husband had come home with plane tickets and hotel reservations for her to come to the wedding. Her phone call to me that day had been to try to find out if she should bring a long dress or a street length dress. Adolf had felt it was important for her to be here for the wedding of her good friend's son.
There have been several trips between Omaha and Hanover since then. My husband and I attended Adolf and Ute's 25 th anniversary party and returned a few years later for the wedding of their daughter. In 1998 we met Adolf and Ute in New York City . She had suggested a special trip to commemorate our forty years of friendship. We spent a few days in New York City , Boston and Cape Cod, and then all four of us flew back to Omaha so they could also spend some time with my family.
Ute and I have discovered that in many ways we are very much alike. At times we find ourselves finishing each other's sentences. Ute claims this is because we are Wasserman Schwesters'Waterman sisters. Waterman is what Aquarius is known as in the German language. Our birthdays are one week apart. One example of this: When they came to New York City she brought me a gift. It was a scrapbook she had put together detailing our forty years of being pen pals. Included was a copy of my first letter to her. I'd had a similar thought in the weeks before they arrived, but just didn't take the time to put something like that together.
There are many stories I could tell you about the times we've spent together, but space here doesn't permit that. There really is no logical way to explain a friendship like ours. I can only assume that some kind of connection that defies the normal boundaries of space and time is responsible.
Joyce has been writing for her own enjoyment for many years, and only in the past few years has gained the courage to "go public" with her writing. She has had two books published, and is involved with the Fine Lines magazine as a special editor. Her writing primarily reflects her own experiences, or the life experiences she has observed in others. She has her own blog, Joyce's Ramblings at http//joyce-wwwnewbyblogger.com.blogspot.com Joyce would like to add that she always welcomes constructive criticism comments.
Hi joyce I enjoyed the article and hope you will find in another type of way a special friendship with many of the authors here at searchwarp. And also congratulations on being Jeans Pick Of the Day. Hey Joyce guess what "Your front page news"
"...forty years of friendship...There really is no logical way to explain a friendship like ours." Joyce & Ute are two of the most blessed humans gracing planet earth. Cheers to you both for your unconditional love for each other. I'm impressed with how deeply you understand and practice true friendship, the kind that gives more than it takes. Thanks for sharing this remarkable page from your life with the SearchWarp community. ~mogama~
Great article Joyce. Thanks for sharing the story of a beautiful friendship. Pen pal writing brought me to my husband, we were married for 20 years (he passed away 12 years ago). This is before emails and instant messaging. It took 10 days for our letters to reach (New York City and The Philippines) us via the post office, so we write every other day just so we have a constant flow of mails. Your article reminded me of those happy days. Danke schon!
I hAVE A WOBDERFDUK OPEN PAL FROM THE 1950S AND WE FOUND EACH OTHER AGAIN - SHE IS COMING FROM aUSTRALIA TO VISIT US AGAIN THIS COMEING SUMMER! eNJOYED YOUR PIECE. Am on my nephew's lap top and having issues....welcome to searchwarp Marijo (Mary Jo)
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