A GOODBYE
She sits on the sunny hillside and
Lays a blanket of wildflowers over the
Tiny grave. Her mind roams back to
That Sunday morning of fifteen years ago.
Only a few hours ago her world
Had been perfect. A two year
Old at home waiting for his
New brother or sister.
Nothing had prepared her.
No ‘What if' thought had
Darkened her mind.
A child's death only
A remote event that had no place
In her world.
Her first memory, the fog of
Disembodied voices.
‘Your baby id dead.'
NO! This is a dream!
Her eyes won't open.
More fog, more voices,
One of them hers…
‘Is he really dead?'
‘I want to wake up now
and see my son.'
When the fog lifts she sees
His father sitting and weeping.
A glorious sunrise framed
In the window, mocking her
With the promise of a new day.
No one offers to take her
To him, nor does she ask.
Dark memories from her youth
And the shock of her grandma's
Body prevent that request.
It's only when it's too late
She knows she
Should have asked,
Should have seen him,
Should have said goodbye.
That unsaid goodbye has left her with
Fifteen years of the pain of ‘if only',
Of dark fantasies that he is waiting for
Her to come get him. Of lurking
Shadows of regret that she was
Not brave enough to go to him.
Today, finally, on this quiet
Hillside she says her goodbye.
And is cloaked with a
Gossamer veil of peace.
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