ABC has launched a new sitcom this season called "Cougar Town." I'd never watch the thing; based on the previews I already know the content isn't anything I would be interested in. But I am so glad the network has chosen to air this comedy. For me, it provides further validation of something I've believed in for years: Men are not the only sex that suffer from mid-life crisis!
For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, "cougars" are older women (usually over 40) who go after younger men (usually under 30). The phenomenon has been gaining media attention in the past few years. Several movies have been made where the subject has been discussed at length. Earlier this year Barbie's 50th birthday celebration included a fashion show where women half a century old wore clothing that Barbie herself would blush to be seen in if she weren't made entirely of gravity-defying plastic. The first-ever "Miss Cougar USA" was crowned this year in California. Television shows like "Glee" have touched on the issue, but "Cougar Town" is the first series built entirely around the concept.
There are some who pooh-pooh the idea that this is anything more than media hype. It's sluffed off by many as simply another male fantasy. The phenomenon, they insist, doesn't really exist.
I disagree. And every other man out there should do the same.
The various media outlets claim that all they do is report the news. They're not selective in what is presented, or the light in which it's reported; they simply report what people want to see. We know better: It's all about the money and what sells. If television, newspapers, and the Internet are reporting on this phenomenon, it's not because it's hype, but that it make those outlets money.
The male fantasy issue is interesting. I wonder how many 20-something men would say that they find women in their moms' peer group attractive. Maybe a particular individual here or there, but not as an entire group. Given the choice between, say, Courtney Cox (who stars in the "Cougar Town" series) and a young, flirty, attractive female in their own age group, would a young guy really choose the older option? I know sometimes guys think with the wrong head, but please...not all the time!
When a man in his 40s or 50s wears his shirts unbuttoned to his navel, sports 40 pounds of gold chain around his neck, drives an expensive high-powered sports car (usually a two-seater convertible), and carries a pretty young girl on each arm, people scoff, call the man a pervert, and make other crude comments about his inability to grow up and be a man. When a woman in the same age group wears a dress with the front cut down to her navel, the hemline of her skirt barely covers her undergarments (if she's even wearing any), deploys more makeup than the entire cosmetic counter at a major department store, giggles and flirts and acts like someone half her age, and chases after virile young men who could be her sons, people say she's just trying to recover some of her youth. (But the young men she's going after are seen as opportunistic oversexed beasts who are using this woman's vulnerability and need to be loved to their advantage.)
What's the point of this discussion? It's not to take to task society's view of May-December romances (and I'm not going to bring up those that involve minors--totally different topic altogether). It's to point out that just like a man, a woman reaches a point in her life where she comprehends her mortality and wonders if she still has "what it takes" to maintain a relationship with a young, attractive person of the opposite sex. She does what she needs to make herself look younger (clothing, makeup, plastic surgery) and goes out on the prowl to see if those younger guys are still attracted to her. It's really nothing different than what a male peer would do. And it does happen!
So the next time I overhear some woman voicing her irritation with yet another male trying to act half his age, I'm going to look her in the eye and ask, "What about cougars?" And then walk away, whistling happily.
Equality really is a good thing.
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