I'm sure many of you can remember when dating only consisted of one of three ways: natural courtship, blind dates, and/or singles' activities/events. With that being stated, I sure don't date the way my grandmother did - LOL.
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I can find a date in more than three ways; many of them may not be my particular method of choice, but they are the most popular ways of dating among people today. Among the usual, traditional ways of dating, we also have speed, mobile, virtual, and online dating to add to our chances of finding true love.
I am submitting this as a collection in reference to dating; there once was a time to be afraid of blind dates, today you must be aware of online dating. I'm not submitting this to point blame or negative details about online dating. But, I want to share my opinions on the dating scene, and how much has changed since yesteryear.
It's true, and possible to find love in all sort of ways and places. It's also true that one can find love in the eyes of a stranger, friend or foe. But, do the same rules apply for dating today, that held strong in dating rules of yesteryear? I ask this because of the opportunities a person may have to meet the parents of an online friend. It's not very likely for a person to chat with you, and have their parents in the same chat room. Nor is it likely for a person to meet parents through a web cam introduction; but the latter is more plausible than the first.
Dating today has changed so much, until I wonder sometimes if it is really 'dating' that is going on between a couple. I remember a time when it was a must for the male to "court" the female; being that the young male visits the home of the female, and they get to know one another, he meets the parents/family, and all that jazz. Today, I see the females taking claim for what they want, and pursuing the male. I say, "Go for it!" But, I also say, allow the male to show you what his intentions are for you, even if you 'chose' him. It may be my opinion, that nine times out of ten, the male you chose was waiting to be chosen (smile).
Going "dutch". Who created this nonsense? It's okay for me to help with the bill, if, and only if, the male is in a position where he's not able to pay, or if it's my treat. Peg me as wrong, or even selfish. But, I'm a lady and I like to be "treated" as such. It feels good to know that a guy doesn't mind spending his money on me; buying nice things for me, and making sure I'm fed (smile-yes, I love to eat!). I have seen it more times than I wish to acknowledge of females "taking care" of a guy; paying for all the night-outs, his cellphone bill, his bar bill (and you are not with him), his lottery tab, all of his clothing/shoes, paying his child support/alimony, paying his utility bills, and his party favors in the streets (you know what I'm speaking of). That is not taking care of him, that is doing for him, what he needs to be doing for his lady!
What ever happened to the roles of a man in today's society? Have the roles switched without me knowing? Could there be a relation to women's 'Lib' that has erupted a sense of laziness in some men, when it comes to the expectations society has placed on what qualities a man should have?
I have so much more on this subject, and would enjoy bringing more to my blogs. But, I had to get the initial point out, first. Thanks for allowing me that priviledge (smile)
Ronyae has been a writer since she learned to write. Born Ranya Elajah Snowden to a single mother, as a single family inside the largest, rooted family.
She hasn't given birth to any children, but she loves her Siamese cat Smoki like she birthed her. Smoki made sure Ronyae was a grandparent before she became a parent.
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Call me old fashioned, but I definately still believe in a man taking care of his date, and courting her in person rather than online. I met my fiance when we were both young, she was working at an ice cream shop and I would always go in and buy ice cream hoping to get a chance to talk to her, usually tossing the ice cream out after I left. I finally got the courage to ask her out and the rest is history, and we have a nice story on how we met that we enjoy reminiscing on and sharing with friends that we wouldn't have had we met in a chat room or speed dating session. Great article!
Hi Ronyae, an interesting and well written article. Man, things surely have changed!! I think I liked the old way better. But mainly, I'm just glad not ot be involved in that anymore. I have my choice right here at home, and would never start over.
I'm glad that I'm not part of the dating game in today's society. Dating has always been hard for anyone (especially guys). It is interesting to read your article and see what is happening with dating today.
Ronyae, wow - things sure have changed from my single days. Thanks for the info It will help me with my grandson! Of course, by the time he is ready to date, things will be different from now. By then, with the Internet, there will be no need to meet til the wedding day! ;-)
Hi Ronyae! Yes, it has changed, and I don't think for the better. I think with all the texting and online dating, a lot of the face-to-face communication is lost. People have lost the art of just sitting down and talking. You see them buzzing away with their fingers, but stumbling with conversation. I love romance and courtship. And I love to feel like a girly-girl. Call that old-fashioned, but then I guess I want an old-fashioned guy! Great article... Tracey : )
Thank you Tracey for sharing my exact sentiments; personal interaction has gotten so scarce today. And trust me, old-fashioned is the best way to be (smile).
yes i agree. chivilry is at the brink of extinction i dont say dead because there are still some men out there with it but few. i think dating somebody face to face is the only way of really knowing that person.
» left by Hilda Cang(197) Hilda Cang (24 days 9 hours ago.)
Great work! I had one article myself about " househusband " so yours is still at the dating stage but already imposed on such term a female is paying instead of the male and other duty a male should be doing yet she is doing it for him. Sounds unbelievable these days !
Thing is , some women may be enjoying this privilege of taking care of the man she is with or other factors or that the guy really loves to be under her ? Nice to be pampered all the time!
I love to be pampered, Hilda ... I'm a lady, and that's what lady should have in life: Pampering! Thanks for reading, sharing your comment, and sharing my feelings on this topic.
Another great read! But are women really paying for everything for their 'men' today? That is appalling. I didn't raise my boys that way and I pity those women who do pay. Have they no self worth?
Thankfully, that is one less headache that I must deal with. Aging has its blessing in some ways!
Yes aging does, Nancy. I applaud you for a job well done with the males in your family. Hopefully, there are more parents, and parents-to-be practicing this very same family value
Roles are sheer nonsense;when a cop sees a couple making love on the grass in a park,he does not tap his nightstick on the soles of their shoes and demand;"Who's in CHARGE,here!?'
Well Ronyae, looks like you opened a big can of worms here. And while I agree with much of what you offer, I do have to ask: do you suppose that the reason more women are 'paying their way' is because there are fewer 'available' men? Statistically speaking, this is true. So perhaps there are just too many women 'competing' for those available men?
As for 'traditional roles, it's a double-edged sword. Women have been demanding 'equality' since the 60s (well, before then really, but the 60s began a whole new revolution). They want equal pay for equal work (still don't get that), and to be treated as equals in all regards to men. YET, they also want to have their tabs paid for, their doors opened, their chairs pulled out for them, etc. Don't you think this is confusing to men?
I have always believed that when women demand 'equality' they are settling for far LESS than they deserve. Because from where I sit we are NOT equal. In so many ways, women are superior to men....AND (hold on to your tongues, Guys!) in other ways men are superior to women. So...it seems to me that what we might rather focus on would be demanding that we be appreciated for who we are, not what we think men should 'give' us.
In short, women deserve to be treated well. Indeed. But so do men. And if the roles have changed, and they most certainly have, then it's up to us to take some responsibility for it. Lazy men are as common as lazy women. Online dating is only fueling this laziness (my opinion). We have ALL contributed to this in one way or another. If it seems shallow, try going to a bar or a 'singles club'. They're all pretty much the same thing. The problem isn't online or 'speed dating', it's that we, as a culture insist on INSTANT GRATIFICATION.
If you want your date to pay your way, you might want to visit a Renaissance Faire. You may find what you're looking for.
Interesting opening statement, Camille. I am inclined to agree that men may get confused on the whole "Women's Lib" issue. But, regardless of a man realizing the equality of a woman in society, he is still the "man", and is expected to do "manly" things; i.e. treating a lady like a lady, regardless of her position at work/society ... home is where the heart is, I say.
But you have shared some very interesting and strong points, Hilda. Thanks for creating a balanced discussion on the topic ... by the way, you have hit the nail on the head with your statements on 'laziness'. Thank you Hilda, and keep the hot comments coming (smile).
Go girl! I think men were "wired" to be providers and protectors - when this "wiring" is short circuited all kinds of unwanted things can happen. And then we scratch our heads and wonder at the divorce rate and miserable used to be couples. Good observations, well written. Marijo
» left by Tracy from California (22 days 16 hours ago.)
I wish I was around for "dating in the good old days". Now its just a jumble of internet meetings, weird missed connections, neediness and blackberry appointments.
Great observations Ronyae. I'm not sure when we changed roles, but I think we're on the way to growing hair on our chests and having doors hit us. Thanks for this piece.
Good observation about the door, Tracy; I've been hit by a few. No, several doors have either hit me, or close to it. It took me awhile to stop walking a foot or two behind the male just to see if he'd wait long enough for me ... while holding the door (smile).
Ronyae, you ask, "Could there be a relation to women's 'Lib' that has erupted a sense of laziness in some men, when it comes to the expectations society has placed on what qualities a man should have?"
Answer: Yep! Women can't have it both ways. Either they're equal to men or they're not.
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