My friend and I were out for a walk. She was lamenting the fact that it was difficult finding a man at her age. She had been divorced several years. She said younger men dated young women and older men wanted to date younger women too. Where did that leave her at forty-something?
"That's not true Angie, I said optimistically. "What's all the talk about Cougars then? There's got to be younger guys out there interested in dating older women. They've realized we've been around longer and know all the tricks of the trade."
She wasn't buying it. She said younger women were probably more selective and more likely to turn them down. Any guy hitting on an older woman was just after a sure thing.
"Besides," she said, "Not all forty-year olds look like Courtney Cox in the new Cougar Town sitcom." Running her hand through her graying hair, my friend said she looked and felt more like a Snow Leopard'. She was really discouraged.
"It's not you, Angie, it's men. They need to have their ego stroked, and younger women will do that."
Off in her own little world she replied sadly, " I'd like to stroke a man."
We both howled.
We continued our walk and up ahead saw a small group of men gathered outside a church. I told my friend this was her chance. She should stumble and fake an injury. Surely one of the men would come to her rescue.
She ignored my advice. We walked by and I said it was just as well. It would have been her luck they were gathered for an AA meeting. (Not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just she had been there-done that with her ex, and didn't need to do it again.)
Up ahead we passed a man heading towards the group. I had to ask.
"Excuse me, do you know what's going on at the church?
"AA meeting," he replied on his way by.
What were the chances of that? We looked at each other and howled again.
That weekend, my husband and I were at a party. Jeff, the host, had told us we'd get to meet some of his family. Two of his brothers would be there. I'd heard one of them had recently divorced.
The walk with Angie still fresh in my mind, I decided to take action on her behalf. If the brother were as nice as Jeff he'd be a perfect match for her.
I spent the evening mingling, while my husband shot pool. I saw a man standing alone sipping a drink. I made my way over and introduced myself.
"You must be Jeff's brother. You look just like him."
Turned out it was his brother. I smiled a big smile and shook his hand, noticing the absence of a wedding ring. I started to quiz him.
"So what was it like growing up with Jeff for a brother?" I asked.
I listened intently as he seemed happy to tell me about himself. He told funny childhood stories, he told me about his work and hobbies. We got along wonderfully.
He had a good sense of humor. He was nice looking, personable, and the right age. Perfect, for Angie. Or so I thought.
"So where do you live?" I asked my eyes fixed on his.
"We just bought a place on the lake," he replied.
"Excuse me?" I asked, choking on my wine. "I didn't catch that, what did you say?"
" We just bought a house on," he started to repeat himself.
I stopped him dead in his tracks.
"So you're married?"
"Yes," he replied. He pointed to a woman staring at us from the next room. "That's my wife."
I smiled at her and raised my glass. She glared at me.
Damn, I thought. I'd just invested over half an hour on the wrong brother.
"Well, it was really nice meeting you," I said, and quickly moved to the food table.
The next thing I knew his wife, who had been glaring at me from the kitchen, joined him. They spoke in hushed tones occasionally glancing over at me, then they spoke a little louder and she stormed off.
He smiled at me. I wasn't getting a good feeling.
Then it hit me.
Oh my God, did she think I was hitting on him? Did he?
Totally embarrassed, I went to find my husband in the games room. I stood back giving him the raised eyebrow, tipping back-of-the-head gesture. He came over and asked, "What's up? Meet anyone interesting?" Before I could answer he was called back to take his shot. He said he'd be finished the game soon, and would come and find me.
I wandered back to the other room replenished my drink and made small talk with various people. I couldn't help but notice the brother smiling at me every time I looked up.
Finally, enough was enough. I found the host and said, "Great party Jeff, and by the way if your brother happens to mention some dark haired woman hitting on him..."
He interrupted me. "That was you?" he laughed.
Great, just great, I thought, feeling my face go red. The brother had already told him.
"My brother thought there was going to be a cat fight the way his wife was looking at you," he said grinning from ear to ear.
I explained the situation. I said I could see how he and his wife might have got the impression I was interested in him, but I was merely looking out for my friend. Jeff found great humor in my embarrassment and couldn't hold back his laughter.
Just then my husband joined us. I quickly asked him if he was ready to go.
Jeff jumped right in. "No Brianna, you can't leave yet. I have another brother for you to meet."
"Yeah, right, maybe some other time," I said sarcastically.
My husband knew something was up. I was usually the last to leave a party.
"I'll explain in the car," I assured him.
The moral of the story? Even though you have nothing but good intentions, it's best to leave matchmaking alone. It could get you in trouble.
As much as I wanted to help my friend, she was on her own from now on. Much to my husband's delight, my days of looking for a man were over.
Brianna Popsickle, Letters From A Suburban Prison
Observations and reflections on life, and the people around her; written as a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, neighbour, co-worker, or whatever else anyone needs her to be.
Artist. Writer. Woman. - Struggling to re-appear after years of confinement in a suburban prison.
» left by Brianna Popsickle (18 days 2 hours ago.)
Actually we're invited to a party there tonight and I think the other brother may actually be there. But trust me I'm leaving it alone. :) Thanks for reading and commenting, I'm glad you got a laugh from it.
Who ever said that women were calculating,devious and sneaky?"I told my friend this was her chance. She should stumble and fake an injury";It's terrifying,so very scary how some women think;men,beware!
which leg?(for the break);shameless conniving by a woman almost always undoes a simple minded man;and I'm shocked that your husband gives you so much relative rope length with which to hoist yourself by! paul
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